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FML with : drunk

Number of results : 471

Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML

#21208109
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43738) - you deserved it (3538)

On 07/13/2014 at 5:14pm - misc - by all puked out (man) - Netherlands

Today, I woke up and put my contacts in. It appears that I got drunk enough last night that instead of soaking my contacts in contact solution, I used mouthwash. FML

#21181415
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40471) - you deserved it (21689)

On 06/20/2014 at 1:06am - misc - by anon - United States (Missouri)

Today, I started my job as a driving instructor. My first client showed up piss drunk. FML

#21174767
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38820) - you deserved it (3543)

On 06/14/2014 at 8:34pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was walking in the street, and the next thing I know, I'm waking up in a hospital. According to witnesses, a guy came up and hit me over the head with a baseball bat. Apparently that's a thing that happens now. But it's okay, he had an excuse: he said he was drunk. FML

#21168803
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46219) - you deserved it (3145)

On 06/09/2014 at 9:56pm - health - by Harry (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at a bar, when a heavily drunk guy came up to me and slurred "Fuucckkk lady, your face... not even with beer goggles!" FML

#21153496
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47107) - you deserved it (4602)

On 05/27/2014 at 3:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mom came home drunk and crying, so I tried to comfort her and asked what was wrong. She wasted no time admitting that she'd hooked up with her ex-husband, AKA my dad, but that it'd sucked for her because he has a tiny penis. Thanks, I really needed to know that. FML

#21149418
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40357) - you deserved it (3675)

On 05/23/2014 at 5:25pm - misc - by idontevencareanymore (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML

#21147237
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45909) - you deserved it (3630)

On 05/21/2014 at 12:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my mom got drunk and started crying, ranting about all the things she could have done in life if I hadn't been born. FML

#21135087
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42965) - you deserved it (3275)

On 05/09/2014 at 7:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my long-distance boyfriend got extremely drunk and insisted that we ran the Skype call all night so it was like I was there with him. I woke up to the sound of him vomiting loudly at 3am. FML

#21124188
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37045) - you deserved it (4834)

On 04/27/2014 at 9:43am - love - by Amy (grossed out) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I watched a drunk guy getting thrown out of a bar, then get tased on the sidewalk outside. He was our designated driver. FML

#21110183
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37423) - you deserved it (4958)

On 04/11/2014 at 9:48am - misc - by brodinn (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my neighbor asked to come over and use my laptop. She showed up drunk, grabbed my boobs, and asked if I'd ever had a lesbian experience. We both have husbands and kids; the kids were in the room. FML

#21109873
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47525) - you deserved it (4381)

On 04/10/2014 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by freakedout (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was having my birthday party. My dad showed up late, blind drunk, and drove his car straight through my garage door. FML

#21105340
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39387) - you deserved it (2770)

On 04/05/2014 at 6:04pm - misc - by as-salamu alaykum, motherfucker - United Kingdom (Wirral)

Today, my dad took me to a bar for my first legal drink. He quickly got "drunk" and started slurring that I was an accident, saying the only reason I'm alive is because he'd been too poor to pay for an abortion. As I started crying, he burst out laughing and said soberly, "Just kidding, son." FML

#21092859
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43445) - you deserved it (5650)

On 03/21/2014 at 6:35pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML

#21080535
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39159) - you deserved it (2872)

On 03/07/2014 at 1:51pm - misc - by Jehovah God (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom left the house in the morning, leaving me alone. I called and I got no answer. Hours later, she finally answers one of my calls and tells me that she'd been in an AA meeting all this time. Happy, I tell her to come home. She came home drunk. FML

#21077397
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33202) - you deserved it (2454)

On 03/03/2014 at 11:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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