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FML with : drunk

Number of results : 530

Today, I went to my fiance's cousin's wedding with him. I got drunk and danced like a stripper in front of his entire extended family, who I'd just met that day. FML

#21461344
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9515) - you deserved it (28168)

On 08/27/2015 at 1:44pm - love - by O0hdear - United States (Texas)

Today, I helped an old man who fell over. Turns out he was drunk and had pissed himself. He decided to thank me with a hug. FML

#21461220
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20065) - you deserved it (1562)

On 08/27/2015 at 2:46am - misc - by philip708 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my friends told me that I'm not invited to the next trip because I'm a party pooper for not getting drunk and staying out late during our last vacation. I guess they forgot that I spent each night taking care of their drunk asses and stayed sober to be the designated driver. FML

#21454553
79 comments

Today, I came home to find my mom drunk. She asked me for a hug and then started crying, "Where's my daughter?" I'm her daughter. And her only child, as far as I know. FML

#21449052
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21135) - you deserved it (1363)

On 07/29/2015 at 1:07pm - misc - by roselysunset (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friends showed me a video of me blind drunk last night, getting into a fight with my front door. The door won, unlike my face. FML

#21447461
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17021) - you deserved it (12537)

On 07/26/2015 at 10:27am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my son was planning on going clubbing. I disapproved, but no matter what I say he never listens, so I simply offered him some condoms so he doesn't end up knocking anyone up. He just said, "Nah, dad. Get 'em drunk enough and it's anal all the way." FML

#21443327
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29356) - you deserved it (4525)

On 07/18/2015 at 1:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while at a party, I ran into the girl I've liked for ages. I was so nervous, but I managed to keep the conversation going for a half hour. After mustering up the courage to ask her out on a date, her drunk, over-protective ex burst in and threw up on my shirt. Good timing, asswipe. FML

#21438523
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23889) - you deserved it (1666)

On 07/08/2015 at 1:45pm - love - by welpwelpwelp - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, my friend and I went to a club. She said I look hilarious when I dance drunk. I was completely sober. FML

#21436510
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23345) - you deserved it (3049)

On 07/04/2015 at 9:48pm - misc - by Bad Dancer - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my dad got so drunk that I had to drive him home. He kept yelling at me to not speed, saying I was going too fast and that there were too many bumps on the road. I hadn't even started the car yet. FML

Today, I brought my best friend home and told my dad we were going to study together. He loudly replied "Woah!", stumbled around for a few seconds like he was drunk, then apologized and said the "sheer amount of gayness" between us had overloaded his gaydar. We're not gay, dammit! FML

#21429349
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25554) - you deserved it (2994)

On 06/21/2015 at 2:04am - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I left a concert with my drunk mother who had spilled beer all over my shirt. I drove her home and she slept it off. Later, my mom "found" my shirt in the laundry and grounded me for drinking behind her back. She won't believe me that it was her. FML

#21422282
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25336) - you deserved it (1589)

On 06/07/2015 at 11:46am - misc - by MagnusDeus - United States (California)

Today, I called 911 to report a drunk driver. The operator yelled at me for following the guy and told me to get off the phone because I shouldn't be driving with a phone to my ear. FML

#21416830
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26545) - you deserved it (6442)

On 05/27/2015 at 9:28pm - misc - by drivingmecrazy - United States (California)

Today, while we were at a work party, I noticed a drunk lady in the mix. I pointed out to my boss how dumb she looked. It was his daughter. FML

#21412921
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26627) - you deserved it (13185)

On 05/20/2015 at 8:03am - work - by boss_daughter - United States

Today, my drunk boyfriend decided to wake me up by fingering me. Let's just say going to the ER to get your tampon dug out isn't fun. FML

#21410572
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35257) - you deserved it (3101)

On 05/15/2015 at 3:54pm - intimacy - by nazirah4shizzle (woman) - United States

Today, I got a text saying I was "banned" from a volunteer group by the vice chair. Why? Because him dumping me the night before and leaving me in the bar alone drunk and crying wasn't enough for him, apparently. FML

#21410356
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29606) - you deserved it (2563)

On 05/15/2015 at 1:40am - love - by bluestripedsockm - United States (California)



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