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FML with : car

Number of results : 2757

Today, I watched as the teenage neighbor girl tried to parallel-park between me and my wife's cars. She was doing pretty well until she backed into mine, got scared, hit the accelerator and ran into my wife's. FML

#21287621
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31700) - you deserved it (2308)

On 10/29/2014 at 11:24am - misc - by carless - United States

Today, trying to be a good role model for the kids behind me, I stopped and thoroughly checked both sides of the road before crossing. I still managed to get hit by a car. FML

#21287500
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27694) - you deserved it (5272)

On 10/29/2014 at 4:19am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I hit a new low point in my life when I stole batteries from a toy at the daycare I work at, and put them in my vibrator. FML

#21286701
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19844) - you deserved it (26202)

On 10/27/2014 at 11:40pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I took my girlfriend for what I thought would be a romantic horse-drawn carriage ride. We didn't expect the horse to die in the middle of it. FML

#21286332
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42825) - you deserved it (3221)

On 10/27/2014 at 2:48pm - love - by subduedbeast - United States

Today, my friend drove up a parking lot and I unbuckled my seatbelt as soon as we were parked. He then suddenly saw a better spot right in front and moved his car. When I got out, a police officer approached me, saying I wasn't wearing my seatbelt. I was fined for that. FML

Today, at my apartment complex, I was carrying a bag of trash up to the dumpster. A guy stopped his car and helped me carry it the rest of the way. I thanked him and he asked me out. I explained that I was married. He grabbed the trash bag and carried it back to my apartment. FML

#21285821
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31958) - you deserved it (3462)

On 10/26/2014 at 6:46pm - love - by mellielynnemily - United States

Today, I went to the police station to find out if the tint on my new car's windshield was too dark. The officer took one look, told me that windshield tints are illegal in California, and ticketed me. So much for being honest. FML

#21285139
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30201) - you deserved it (8242)

On 10/25/2014 at 5:58pm - misc - by tanisLX - United States (California)

Today, I met my neighbors for the first time, as they helped me carry my dead cat off the road. FML

#21284997
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29631) - you deserved it (2562)

On 10/25/2014 at 1:32pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after my first day at work at a local daycare, I found out that I'm not entitled to breaks because I'm the only worker there who doesn't smoke. My boss asked me, ''What do you need a break for?'' FML

#21284495
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35066) - you deserved it (2535)

On 10/24/2014 at 4:52pm - work - by Anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, after emptying the dishwasher, I noticed something in the back by the drain. It looked like a turkey bone. Upon closer inspection, it was a mouse carcass. I have no idea how many loads of dishes have gone through with it in there. FML

#21283044
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32655) - you deserved it (3633)

On 10/22/2014 at 10:47am - animals - by MouserMan - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I showed up to work and my boss was nowhere to be found. A phone call later, I find out he's in Dubai. Oh, and since I'm his personal assistant, I should be able to take care of matters until he gets back. I've only been his assistant for a week. FML

#21281510
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31008) - you deserved it (2181)

On 10/20/2014 at 12:53am - work - by are you kidding me - United States (Kansas)

Today, I woke up to find "Fuck you, Harry" painted on my car. Harry's my neighbour. FML

#21280293
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35427) - you deserved it (2153)

On 10/18/2014 at 3:20am - misc - by Queensland - Australia

Today, my wife yelled at me for being a bastard and not caring about her needs. I felt like an asshole and apologized for everything. It took me a few hours to realize I'd basically just apologized for unknowingly hanging the toilet paper the "wrong way" for her OCD. FML

#21279154
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33402) - you deserved it (4868)

On 10/16/2014 at 3:30pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I watched from my office window as a couple maneuvered their car to squash a dead pigeon flat on the road. I then watched as they got out of the car, set up tripods and started taking photos of it. FML

Today, an elderly woman was crossing the street and dropped her bag of groceries. I got out of my car to assist her, but she beat me repeatedly, yelling that I was "enforcing a stereotype". Sorry for trying to help. FML

#21277469
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33520) - you deserved it (2711)

On 10/14/2014 at 3:15am - misc - by I_AM_READING - United States (Alaska)



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