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FML with : ass

Number of results : 2468

Today, I was hit with a sudden onset of diarrhea and had to use the washroom on the train. As soon as I pulled down my pants, my worst nightmare came true, as someone opened the door and exposed me to the other passengers. FML

#21261474
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4450) - you deserved it (587)

On 09/19/2014 at 9:20pm - misc - by Bebbo - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in astronomy class, a kid used Uranus in a hilarious innuendo. I was the only one who laughed. I also happen to be the teacher. FML

#21260699
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22466) - you deserved it (3703)

On 09/18/2014 at 3:20pm - misc - by immature - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, my eight-year-old brother told his classmates that I have cancer. Nope, just really bad acne. FML

Today, I was checking out of a hotel when I saw some complementary mints. They weren't mints. They were glass beads. FML

Today, I sat in on a university-level physics lecture, listening to my hyped-up co-students approximating the hypothetical situation of the Sun consisting of gerbils. The conversation then continued towards how much better energy/mass ratio the gerbil-sun would have compared to the actual star. FML

#21258867
75 comments

Today, I was going for my morning walk, when a guy in a massive truck drove up beside me, with a kid no more than 4 riding shotgun. I lost my faith in humanity when his tiny voice yelled through the window, "Nice ass!" FML

#21257417
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38545) - you deserved it (4295)

On 09/13/2014 at 10:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, some assface hacked my recently deceased friend's Facebook account. The person changed my friend's location to "Hell", then posted a status saying how hot the weather was, and replied "I wish :'(" to someone who'd said my friend was in a better place now. FML

#21257037
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40650) - you deserved it (2674)

On 09/12/2014 at 5:11pm - misc - by he's not the one going to hell (man) - Australia

Today, I had to take my husband's laptop to University for an in-class exam. I opened the screen, and loud porn started to auto-play. The silence in the class was deafening as I tried to make it stop. FML

#21256842
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39592) - you deserved it (5169)

On 09/12/2014 at 9:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I entered the lecture hall where my class takes place. I sat in the front row as usual, but I noticed that none of the other students looked familiar. I quickly realised that I was in the wrong class after a different professor showed up and told me to get out. FML

Today, I saw my teacher using her phone in the middle of class, so to joke around with her, seeing as we're on pretty good terms, I said: "Using your phone in class? For shame." She looks me in the eyes and says, "Would it be ok if I told you I'm arranging my father's funeral?" FML

#21256116
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41004) - you deserved it (14756)

On 09/11/2014 at 2:33am - misc - by lolwut - United States (Oregon)

Today, someone in my class referred to the September 11th attacks as "Nine-Elevs". FML

#21255951
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34399) - you deserved it (2806)

On 09/10/2014 at 9:47pm - misc - by no - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out I sent several embarrassing videos while under the influence of the meds I was given while getting my wisdom teeth out. When I asked my mom why she didn't take my phone, she said she tried but I started whining and growling at her. FML

Today, I overcame my debilitating seasickness long enough to have a shower and take a breath of fresh air on the cruise ship balcony. Then as a reward, a passing seagull shat on my head. FML

#21255023
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31325) - you deserved it (2605)

On 09/09/2014 at 11:53am - health - by nomfuck - United States (Ohio)

Today, I started my first teaching job ever. As I was teaching, another teacher interrupted my class about 5 times because she thought it was her class. Not only did she ruin my confidence, her behavior caused my students to laugh at me. FML

#21253844
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34101) - you deserved it (2420)

On 09/07/2014 at 5:05pm - work - by teacher (woman) - United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East)

Today, my daughter's teacher called me, very concerned, because my child told the whole class she's not virgin anymore. The word is "vegan", honey. FML

#21253313
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37806) - you deserved it (3393)

On 09/06/2014 at 9:57pm - kids - by healthfreak - United States (Georgia)



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