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FML with : ass

Number of results : 2741

Today, my idiot kid brother set my shirt on fire with a magnifying glass while I was taking a nap outside. FML

#21463887
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17964) - you deserved it (1825)

On 09/02/2015 at 8:32pm - kids - by girl on fire (woman) -

Today, I brought home a new small glass necklace and put it somewhere I figured that the cats couldn't reach. I was wrong. Now I will be looking through kitty litter to find something smaller than a dime. Talk about needle in a haystack. FML

#21463835
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14620) - you deserved it (2226)

On 09/02/2015 at 5:39pm - animals - by Shay (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got a notice from the housing association, if I don't water my lawn I will be charged a $150 fine. Yet if I do water my lawn the city with charge me a $150 fine because of the drought. FML

#21463419
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21363) - you deserved it (1222)

On 09/01/2015 at 3:43pm - misc - by really? - United States

Today, I left my phone outside on the grass while I went inside to get a drink. I didn't expect my dad to run over it with the lawn mower. FML

#21463365
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11285) - you deserved it (22735)

On 09/01/2015 at 12:46pm - misc - by RiceCrispyTreats - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, at soccer, I repeatedly asked my coach for water as I was feeling light headed. His response every time was, "5 more minutes". Eventually, I got so dehydrated that I passed out. The first thing my coach said when I woke up was, "Why didn't you get some water?" FML

#21463299
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24428) - you deserved it (2162)

On 09/01/2015 at 7:07am - health - by Dehydrated - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to pull chunks of digested blanket out of my dog's ass because she refuses to listen to me when I tell her not to eat the damn blanket. I can't stop smelling it. FML

Today, I finished a big painting for art class. It's also the day my little brother decided it didn't have enough puke on it. FML

#21462064
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19842) - you deserved it (1417)

On 08/29/2015 at 9:44am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada

Today, I found out that I won't be able to attend my own wedding, because I'll be in a mandatory training class that doesn't allow people to take vacation for any reason. So now we've wasted $10,000, and I can't even fly home for one day. All because I got promoted unexpectedly. FML

#21461761
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24282) - you deserved it (1880)

On 08/28/2015 at 4:05pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Italy (Friuli-Venezia Giulia)

Today, I was washing my face like I normally do. My mom walked by as I was wiping my face and said "That's the washcloth I use to wipe my ass!" My dad and brothers are now only addressing me as "Assface." FML

#21460902
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21195) - you deserved it (2105)

On 08/26/2015 at 9:55am - misc - by aaaaaaaaasssssssssssssss (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I shaved my pubes while staying at my senile grandma's place. I guess I didn't clean up properly, because she found some hair and insisted someone must have broken in while we were out and used the shower. I had to play along to spare myself embarrassment. FML

#21460529
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17826) - you deserved it (6194)

On 08/25/2015 at 1:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I passed my driver's test. My instructor took the learner signs off his car and let me drive back to my place. I guess he didn't bet on me crashing the car just a few blocks from the test center. FML

#21459680
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19025) - you deserved it (5036)

On 08/23/2015 at 1:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, while trying to lift a weight bar at the gym, I ended up cracking my rib cage and almost passed out. My friend, who was supposed to be spotting for me, couldn't help until the last second because he'd snuck off to flirt with a pair of guys halfway across the room. FML

#21459605
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20524) - you deserved it (5337)

On 08/23/2015 at 8:35am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, the professor I've had a crush on informed me that there's only one way left I could still pass his course. Thinking this was an attempt to flirt with me, I told him I'd do anything he could imagine. He then looked confused when he asked me to write an essay. FML

#21458908
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10015) - you deserved it (29763)

On 08/21/2015 at 3:43pm - misc - by notwhatithought (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, after months of taking care of my grandma after a surgery, the doctors gave her a clean bill of health and I finally got to sleep in my own bed. She passed away while I was at home. FML

#21458841
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33656) - you deserved it (1555)

On 08/21/2015 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend surprised me by offering me a foot massage to ease my sore feet after a run. I asked for a lot of pressure. Now I'm back home in a walking boot after being diagnosed with a fractured fifth metatarsal bone. FML

#21458628
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21003) - you deserved it (4815)

On 08/20/2015 at 9:42pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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