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FML with : ass

Number of results : 2737

Today, at soccer, I repeatedly asked my coach for water as I was feeling light headed. His response every time was, "5 more minutes". Eventually, I got so dehydrated that I passed out. The first thing my coach said when I woke up was, "Why didn't you get some water?" FML

#21463299
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7716) - you deserved it (669)

On 09/01/2015 at 7:07am - health - by Dehydrated - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to pull chunks of digested blanket out of my dog's ass because she refuses to listen to me when I tell her not to eat the damn blanket. I can't stop smelling it. FML

Today, I finished a big painting for art class. It's also the day my little brother decided it didn't have enough puke on it. FML

#21462064
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18579) - you deserved it (1333)

On 08/29/2015 at 9:44am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada

Today, I found out that I won't be able to attend my own wedding, because I'll be in a mandatory training class that doesn't allow people to take vacation for any reason. So now we've wasted $10,000, and I can't even fly home for one day. All because I got promoted unexpectedly. FML

#21461761
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23033) - you deserved it (1794)

On 08/28/2015 at 4:05pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Italy (Friuli-Venezia Giulia)

Today, I was washing my face like I normally do. My mom walked by as I was wiping my face and said "That's the washcloth I use to wipe my ass!" My dad and brothers are now only addressing me as "Assface." FML

#21460902
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20764) - you deserved it (2092)

On 08/26/2015 at 9:55am - misc - by aaaaaaaaasssssssssssssss (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I shaved my pubes while staying at my senile grandma's place. I guess I didn't clean up properly, because she found some hair and insisted someone must have broken in while we were out and used the shower. I had to play along to spare myself embarrassment. FML

#21460529
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17553) - you deserved it (6134)

On 08/25/2015 at 1:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I passed my driver's test. My instructor took the learner signs off his car and let me drive back to my place. I guess he didn't bet on me crashing the car just a few blocks from the test center. FML

#21459680
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18899) - you deserved it (5022)

On 08/23/2015 at 1:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, while trying to lift a weight bar at the gym, I ended up cracking my rib cage and almost passed out. My friend, who was supposed to be spotting for me, couldn't help until the last second because he'd snuck off to flirt with a pair of guys halfway across the room. FML

#21459605
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19576) - you deserved it (5215)

On 08/23/2015 at 8:35am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, the professor I've had a crush on informed me that there's only one way left I could still pass his course. Thinking this was an attempt to flirt with me, I told him I'd do anything he could imagine. He then looked confused when he asked me to write an essay. FML

#21458908
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10005) - you deserved it (29736)

On 08/21/2015 at 3:43pm - misc - by notwhatithought (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, after months of taking care of my grandma after a surgery, the doctors gave her a clean bill of health and I finally got to sleep in my own bed. She passed away while I was at home. FML

#21458841
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33487) - you deserved it (1555)

On 08/21/2015 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend surprised me by offering me a foot massage to ease my sore feet after a run. I asked for a lot of pressure. Now I'm back home in a walking boot after being diagnosed with a fractured fifth metatarsal bone. FML

#21458628
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20933) - you deserved it (4809)

On 08/20/2015 at 9:42pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after working incredibly hard to get into college without having to take out loans, classes started. I was told we'll need a $200 piece of software, and we'll fail without it. There's no way I can afford it. FML

#21458353
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24219) - you deserved it (1928)

On 08/20/2015 at 3:21am - misc - by NotCollegeBound (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my mom kissed me goodbye before I went to a big job interview. I got weird looks on the way there, but I figured it was just because I look like a massive douche in formal wear. Turns out my mom had smeared lipstick all over my chin. The person who finally let me know was my interviewer. FML

#21457895
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22372) - you deserved it (2334)

On 08/19/2015 at 1:49am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I passed out. I fell to the hardwood floor, cut my chin, and bit through my lip. Fortunately, my brother was there to help stop the bleeding and get me some water. All I had to do was wait until he finished his game of Call of Duty. FML

#21457409
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21897) - you deserved it (1499)

On 08/18/2015 at 12:30am - health - by jami898 - United States (Oregon)

Today, at a quiet restaurant, my stepdad loudly told me he hopes in the future they have "hover caskets" so he doesn't have to carry my "fat ass" to the grave. All because I didn't want a side salad. FML



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