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FML with : ass

Number of results : 2913

Today, some jackass decided that using the back of my car to slow down was easier than using his brakes. FML

#21524385
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5609) - you deserved it (380)

On 02/09/2016 at 11:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I made a delicious casserole for dinner. Just as I was about to serve it, a bowl fell from the cupboard above, exploded on the counter and made it rain tiny, sharp glass shards on my food. I can't pick them all out. FML

#21524037
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15315) - you deserved it (1296)

On 02/08/2016 at 12:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - Austria

Today, my fiancée woke up from a nightmare where I cheated on her. She has so far successfully gotten into my personal and work e-mails, and all my social media. I'm not sure if I'm worse at picking a wife or at picking passwords. FML

#21523145
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18604) - you deserved it (2493)

On 02/05/2016 at 5:55pm - misc - by Alex - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after finding out that my professor likes to talk trash about, and constantly belittle, Muslims in every American History class he teaches, I submitted an essay about Muslim contributions to humanity. He held me back after class and asked why I gave him such filth. I'm a Muslim. FML

#21522430
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24886) - you deserved it (4012)

On 02/03/2016 at 1:14pm - work - by Upset (man) - United States (California)

Today, I tried to explain autism to my classmates. One of them, a professional cunt who's always looking for an excuse to lecture people, accused me of being "ableist" because my explanations weren't accurate, and said I shouldn't explain things I don't understand. I'm actually autistic. FML

#21522371
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21844) - you deserved it (1383)

On 02/03/2016 at 8:33am - health - by Ishikur (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dad thought it was a great idea to text me and say he decided to put our dog down. I was in the middle of class and still had hours left at school. It's not fun to walk across campus holding back tears. FML

#21522136
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22978) - you deserved it (1386)

On 02/02/2016 at 3:05pm - misc - by wideeyeddays (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my cellphone-hating teacher called someone during class, so I called him out about it. Turned out his wife was having a tumor removed, and he was calling to see if she was okay. FML

Today, I walked in on my son's new habit. Sticking his finger up his ass, farting on it, and smelling it. Apparently, the scent is the purest then. FML

#21521749
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21126) - you deserved it (1930)

On 02/01/2016 at 10:54am - kids - by notsoproudfather - India (Maharashtra)

Today, my grandmother yet again asked where my grandfather is. She refuses to believe us when we tell her that he passed away 6 years ago. She always insists that he's out cheating on her and accuses us of lying to cover his arse. FML

#21521394
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21991) - you deserved it (1342)

On 01/31/2016 at 7:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Torfaen)

Today, I called the cops on my elderly neighbor for blaring loud war music yet again. They chatted and laughed with him on his lawn for a good half hour. As they left, he slapped the female officer's ass, only for her to just giggle about it. After they drove off, he fired up his music again. FML

#21521010
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21535) - you deserved it (2206)

On 01/30/2016 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had the most uncomfortable feeling in my socks, but I didn't care to check. It wasn't until I got home that I realized that the feeling was a small thin piece of glass that was slowly cutting away at the bottom of my foot. I still don't know how it got there. FML

#21520994
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18544) - you deserved it (4063)

On 01/29/2016 at 10:54pm - misc - by MemoKrosav (man) - Mexico (Tamaulipas)

Today, I randomly got a boner while modeling a character's butt in animation class. FML

#21520891
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17610) - you deserved it (3196)

On 01/29/2016 at 5:53pm - misc - by Why (man) -

Today, my friends and I were goofing off playing tag behind the local church, when I heard a banshee-like wail behind me. Assuming it was one of my friends, I wailed right back and ran. Turned out there was actually a funeral going on, and the wail was from one of the bereaved. FML

#21520005
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17463) - you deserved it (7048)

On 01/27/2016 at 8:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boss got mad at me because I told her that I wouldn't be able to work two days out of the week, due to college classes. She then cut back my hours so much that I now only work one day a week. I got the job in the first place to pay for my college classes. FML

#21519921
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19350) - you deserved it (1453)

On 01/27/2016 at 12:41am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I donated blood for the first time. It wasn't until I passed out on the ice during hockey practice that I remembered the nurse warning me not to do any type of exercise. FML

#21519730
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10595) - you deserved it (17670)

On 01/26/2016 at 4:38pm - health - by ktm1313 - United States (Ohio)



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