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FML with : fuck

Number of results : 196

Today, my grandma got drunk, tried to change the TV channel with my Xbox controller, and slurred at me to fuck off when I told her it wasn't the remote. She pulls this kind of crap way too often. FML

#21523258
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10766) - you deserved it (784)

On 02/06/2016 at 12:04am - misc - by sick of this shit (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I agreed to anal with my boyfriend, which he was happy about, until I told him in the interest of fair play he also had to let me fuck him with a strap on. It didn't take him very long to suddenly decide anal is disgusting, with all kinds of health risks. And he thinks he's the smart one. FML

#21522856
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18019) - you deserved it (2726)

On 02/04/2016 at 8:01pm - intimacy - by sandra (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, at college, I asked the girl who usually sits next to me if she wanted to team up on our latest assignment. She gave me a disgusted look, said "Um, I'm MARRIED. Creep." and walked away. Seriously, what the fuck? FML

#21515729
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22710) - you deserved it (1310)

On 01/15/2016 at 10:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, let's just say it's not a good sign when your plumber yells "What the fuck?!" That is, unless you actually like your kitchen being swamped by sewage. FML

#21512099
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19499) - you deserved it (1232)

On 01/06/2016 at 10:58am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to listen to my brother whine yet again about being single and how unfair it is. This is a guy who owns an "I fuck on the first date" t-shirt and has more than once referred to women as "vaginas with a person attached". Last time I called him out for being such a dick, I got punched. FML

#21510935
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24307) - you deserved it (1731)

On 01/03/2016 at 9:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Leeds)

Today, my boyfriend's dad came onto me. I was shocked and awkwardly tried to exit the situation. My boyfriend then sprang out and started shouting at me. Apparently, it was a "test" to see if I would still be attracted to him in 30 years. I failed. What. The. Fuck. FML

#21508382
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27807) - you deserved it (1648)

On 12/27/2015 at 12:31pm - love - by _schaden_freude - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I thought it'd be funny to sneak up behind my dad and yell "BOO!" to scare him. He didn't even flinch. All he did was calmly look over his shoulder and sigh, "Oh for fuck's sake. And you wonder why I don't love you." FML

#21507994
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21431) - you deserved it (3873)

On 12/26/2015 at 3:29am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I drove 3 hours to surprise my girlfriend, who I hadn't seen in 3 weeks. When she opened the door, she gasped, told me to fuck off and slammed the door in my face. FML

#21495693
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24931) - you deserved it (2202)

On 11/22/2015 at 10:17pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, while driving home, I saw a cop with a speed gun "hidden" by the side of the road. I went to slow down so the fuck-knob wouldn't be able to ticket me. I then had a brain-fart and floored the gas instead of hitting the brakes. Hello speeding ticket. FML

#21494887
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12274) - you deserved it (27367)

On 11/20/2015 at 3:13pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I woke up to the sound of footsteps outside my room. I investigated but found nothing. As I went back to my room, I heard a sort of giggling from inside. I was so scared, I grabbed my car keys, got the fuck out of there, and drove to my girlfriend's house in my pajamas. FML

#21485396
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22941) - you deserved it (2899)

On 10/28/2015 at 11:09am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, four days after moving into my new house, I woke up to a guy yelling "Fuck you, Claire" followed by a brick smashing through my living room window. Now I know why Claire was so eager to finalize the sale. FML

#21480763
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25677) - you deserved it (1439)

On 10/16/2015 at 1:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, a guy kept flirting with me despite all my hints for him to kindly fuck off and die, so I lied and said I'm a lesbian. This didn't stop him. It got so bad, I had to claim I was born with a dick and say that's why I like girls. Only then did he say "Eeewww..." and back off. FML

#21472629
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24498) - you deserved it (2426)

On 09/25/2015 at 3:56pm - love - by Thai that on for size (woman) - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, during a work meeting, my boss leaned over to me and whispered, "I suggest we fuck". FML

#21470740
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27415) - you deserved it (2282)

On 09/20/2015 at 7:59pm - intimacy - by M - United Kingdom (North Somerset)

Today, after weeks of my girlfriend constantly mentioning pegging and asking me to let her do it, I caved and figured I might as well stand by my "try anything once" rule. Her response? Saying she knew I was gay all along and dumping me. The fuck? FML

#21470529
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27660) - you deserved it (3407)

On 09/20/2015 at 9:44am - intimacy - by no I've never asked for anal (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while eating at my college cafeteria, I started thinking about all the awful crap going on in my life right now, and I started sobbing. Some guy at another table started snickering at me, at which point the guy I like said, "Give her a break. If I was as fuck-ugly as her, I'd be crying too." FML

#21467918
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27799) - you deserved it (2483)

On 09/13/2015 at 9:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)



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