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FML with : mom

Number of results : 1936

Today, as I got out the shower, my mom walked in to give me a towel, then quickly covered her eyes and said, "Woah, I almost saw your penis. Good things it's ridiculously small." I had friends over, and I'm pretty sure I'll hear about this for at least the next month. FML

#21246120
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7953) - you deserved it (752)

On 08/26/2014 at 11:02pm - misc - by WowOuch - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my mom I've been taking yoga lessons, and that it'd be cool if she took some with me. She immediately went on a rant, calling yoga "satanic" and accusing me of trying to get her into "devil worship". Well, that's the last time I try to patch our relationship up. FML

#21245163
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26466) - you deserved it (2061)

On 08/25/2014 at 4:14pm - misc - by fanaticalfuckspawn (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my sister felt guilty and told me about the changes she secretly made to my résumé months ago. She'd put "doing your mom" and "corporate espionage" as my hobbies, and "Justin Bieber's pussy waxer" as a previous job. No wonder I'm still unemployed. FML

#21244565
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33962) - you deserved it (6452)

On 08/24/2014 at 5:50pm - work - by fuck you, tasha (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a TV show about wildlife. The moment the narrator said the word "peacock", my boyfriend broke down into hysterical laughter. He laughed to the point of tears, and had to excuse himself. I'm dating a man-child. FML

#21243818
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32041) - you deserved it (6584)

On 08/23/2014 at 1:51pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up at 4am to my mom's drunk boyfriend digging in the backyard, frantically muttering "Where the fuck is it?" When I went out and asked what was going on, he told me to get back inside or he'd dig a hole for me too. I'm beyond scared. FML

#21243776
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37075) - you deserved it (2641)

On 08/23/2014 at 12:44pm - misc - by wtf... (man) - United States (California)

Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML

#21242552
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37736) - you deserved it (2480)

On 08/21/2014 at 3:30pm - misc - by stepshart - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad and I got into an argument, and he ended up calling me a son of a bitch. My mom heard and started arguing with him over him calling her a bitch. Three hours later, I'm now staying at my gran's house with my mom and hoping her threats of a divorce weren't for real. FML

#21241796
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37553) - you deserved it (2810)

On 08/20/2014 at 4:08pm - misc - by sonofaneuroticwench (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I asked my husband to tell me something nice about myself. He thought for a few moments, then said, "Uh, you shit quietly." FML

#21239720
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39550) - you deserved it (5581)

On 08/17/2014 at 12:40pm - love - by ugh thanks - United States (Ohio)

Today, it's my birthday. When I asked my mom if we were gonna do anything special for my birthday. She said, "don't lie to me. It's not your birthday." FML

#21238688
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42760) - you deserved it (2890)

On 08/16/2014 at 1:09am - misc - by bad birthdays - United States (California)

Today, I excitedly told my family that, after years of studying and dedication, I've been awarded a full scholarship to Germany. My mom's reaction was to start sobbing about me becoming a "heathen" and my dad and brother started telling Nazi jokes. FML

#21237389
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39129) - you deserved it (3244)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:28am - misc - by UnSupported (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I happily announced that I'm getting married. My dad immediately shot back, "And I'm getting E.D., who gives a damn?" Just when I thought he was joking, he muttered that "the bitch" will take everything in our divorce. Moment ruined. FML

#21235893
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33550) - you deserved it (2728)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I had a seizure while at the airport, ready to go on vacation with my family. We ended up missing our flight. My mom spent most of the ride home making cracks about how I'm always ruining things with my "dramatics". Sorry that I have epilepsy, mom. FML

#21232741
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46856) - you deserved it (2846)

On 08/08/2014 at 7:25pm - health - by Anonymous - Sweden (Vasternorrlands Lan)

Today, I stopped two little boys from spitting over a railing at the piano player two floors below in the department store I work at. Their mom complained to my boss about me. FML

#21231280
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38434) - you deserved it (2557)

On 08/06/2014 at 10:22pm - work - by spitstopper - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was shopping when I suddenly slipped on the wet floor and my basket and my groceries were flung everywhere. Moments later, one of the cleaners walked over holding a "wet floor" sign, saw me and laughed. FML

#21229760
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39684) - you deserved it (3081)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:52am - misc - by ms98 - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I asked my mom about signing up for an online dating site. She took one look at me and said, "Why get rejected online when you can just go outside for the same?" FML

#21229228
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37435) - you deserved it (3802)

On 08/04/2014 at 11:08am - misc - by baebookboo - United States (Kansas)



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