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FML with : mom

Number of results : 1977

Today, I accidentally called my boss 'mom'. Now she is jokingly telling everyone that I'm the long-lost daughter she gave up for adoption, because she knew I'd be a failure. FML

#21304319
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1120) - you deserved it (127)

On 11/23/2014 at 3:31am - work - by naladetet - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my son trained his little sister to walk up to strangers and whimper: "My mommy punches me." FML

#21303913
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10594) - you deserved it (805)

On 11/22/2014 at 1:37pm - kids - by uterurist (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I told my mom that my boyfriend, who I've been living with for a year, and I were moving to another state at the end of the month. I told her in a restaurant, over lunch, where she then just got up and left me there without saying a word. FML

Today, I went out to get milk from the garage fridge for my mom. The moment I stepped out, my foot settled on the neighbor's boa, who likes to escape. After my mom finally opened the door to my frantic shouting, she spotted the snake, slammed the door, and locked both of us outside. FML

#21301160
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29615) - you deserved it (2302)

On 11/18/2014 at 12:35am - animals - by blindsparrow - United States (California)

Today, I was counselling a soon-to-be teen mom. She has a younger step-brother, and when I asked her how she handled him when he cries, she said, "Oh, that's when you cover their face until they stop!" FML

#21300330
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29210) - you deserved it (2034)

On 11/16/2014 at 9:25pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that my mom is doing a study and is keeping used pads in the freezer. FML

#21298678
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32609) - you deserved it (2221)

On 11/13/2014 at 10:39pm - money - by PPP - United States (Illinois)

Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML

#21294899
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39257) - you deserved it (3396)

On 11/08/2014 at 6:02pm - kids - by jennabee97 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I tried to blackmail my dad by threatening to tell mom about the bong and weed he keeps hidden in the garage. Turns out she already knew about it and neither of them give a shit. Now I'm grounded until the new year. FML

#21294812
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17449) - you deserved it (32674)

On 11/08/2014 at 3:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was in the middle of a shower, and downstairs I heard my 7 year old daughter screaming "Mom!! Help! I need you right now!" I panicked and ran downstairs, not giving myself enough time to put some clothing on. It was my neighbor at the door. FML

#21293802
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32830) - you deserved it (3181)

On 11/06/2014 at 11:29pm - kids - by ozozl - United States (Colorado)

Today, my eight-year-old microwaved our thermometer to see if the temperature would change. FML

#21293257
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30884) - you deserved it (3549)

On 11/06/2014 at 7:15am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad told me that my mom wanted to name me something "unusual." He eventually got her to compromise. I go by Violet. I now know that my legal name is Purple. FML

#21292947
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36096) - you deserved it (2402)

On 11/05/2014 at 8:12pm - misc - by Purple (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while in a hospital waiting room, a man started talking to me. After a few minutes, he asked me what I did for a living, and I said I'm a stay-at-home mom. He looked me up and down and said, "Huh. No life ambitions, huh?" FML

#21291978
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31251) - you deserved it (6540)

On 11/04/2014 at 2:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I saw what my mom handed out for trick-or-treaters last night. Toothbrushes. Yup, we're that house. FML

#21289931
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33598) - you deserved it (2795)

On 11/01/2014 at 6:22pm - kids - by ThaBoss12 - United States (California)

Today, we told my fiancé's parents that I'm pregnant. His mom's response? "I'm going to throw up. You can't raise a child." We are both 28, self-sufficient and everyone else is thrilled. FML

#21288954
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31905) - you deserved it (2443)

On 10/31/2014 at 8:58am - kids - by kimmykins27 (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up really early to get ready for an interview. I guess it was too early because my mom thought someone broke into our house and now I have two bruised ribs. FML

#21288937
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28605) - you deserved it (2262)

On 10/31/2014 at 8:05am - misc - by nopethanks - United States (Minnesota)



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