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FML with : mom

Number of results : 2151

Today, I put aside my weekend plans to help my aunt with the extermination guy spraying her new house down to prevent cockroaches. After he left, my aunt asked me to go in and turn off the lights because the fumes were very deadly. If I chose not to, she would tell my mom I did nothing all day. FML

#21462982
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20486) - you deserved it (1601)

On 08/31/2015 at 1:17pm - health - by Rakib (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was talking to my mom about my issues with my girlfriend. While she was sympathizing, she slowly picked up my wallet, took $100 and left. FML

#21462595
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19792) - you deserved it (1731)

On 08/30/2015 at 2:29pm - money - by FranchezDeVista (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom saw a picture of the moon and asked me what "those big spots" were. She actually thought the craters were continents and tried correcting me when I told her what they were. Then I almost got into trouble for being disrespectful. FML

#21462353
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18674) - you deserved it (1192)

On 08/29/2015 at 11:02pm - misc - by bornfromhillbillies (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom decided to show me her new rape whistle. She kept blowing it every couple of minutes while we were stuck in traffic. FML

#21461377
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19273) - you deserved it (1257)

On 08/27/2015 at 3:52pm - misc - by PositiveElectron - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was washing my face like I normally do. My mom walked by as I was wiping my face and said "That's the washcloth I use to wipe my ass!" My dad and brothers are now only addressing me as "Assface." FML

#21460902
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21052) - you deserved it (2097)

On 08/26/2015 at 9:55am - misc - by aaaaaaaaasssssssssssssss (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I expressed my feelings to a guy I've liked for a long time. He basically turned me down because I have the same name as his mom, and dating me would be too weird. FML

#21460185
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20453) - you deserved it (1734)

On 08/24/2015 at 5:56pm - love - by wellthen - United States

Today, my husband and I told my parents that I finally managed to conceive. My mom burst into tears of joy and said how great it was that she's finally going to be a "real" grandma, all within earshot of our adopted and now-devastated daughter. FML

#21457997
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34895) - you deserved it (1864)

On 08/19/2015 at 11:00am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa

Today, my mom kissed me goodbye before I went to a big job interview. I got weird looks on the way there, but I figured it was just because I look like a massive douche in formal wear. Turns out my mom had smeared lipstick all over my chin. The person who finally let me know was my interviewer. FML

#21457895
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22401) - you deserved it (2335)

On 08/19/2015 at 1:49am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I tried to vacuum to surprise my mom with a clean house. The vacuum started shorting out, sparked, and then burst into flames mid living room. FML

#21456542
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24182) - you deserved it (1866)

On 08/16/2015 at 12:10am - misc - by fire starter - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that my mom bought roll on stick glue that looks quite a bit like deodorant. It was early in the morning and I was groggy. Long story short, I had to cut every one of my pit hairs. FML

#21456333
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18815) - you deserved it (3753)

On 08/15/2015 at 12:50pm - health - by someboody - United States (California)

Today, I had to fire an employee due to his staggering incompetence. The moment I said the F-word, he started fake-coughing, then loudly humming, then went to his desk and pretended not to hear anything I was saying. It took 3 of us to drag him out of the building kicking and screaming. FML

#21456323
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22582) - you deserved it (1646)

On 08/15/2015 at 11:47am - work - by bruised - United States (Florida)

Today, I had a first date with a guy I met online. And his mom. FML

#21455597
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21290) - you deserved it (2543)

On 08/13/2015 at 1:39pm - love - by fridgemylifee - United States

Today, my mom got angry that I wasn't responding to her texts. I couldn't because I was in the dentist's chair. She'd dropped me off, and after returning from errands, sent the text from the waiting room. FML

#21455023
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21613) - you deserved it (1414)

On 08/12/2015 at 12:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my mom meant to send a picture of her poop to my aunt, but sent it to my swim coach instead. FML

Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. When I went to change into tight jeans which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled: "It's the mommy show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML

#21454009
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22868) - you deserved it (2085)

On 08/09/2015 at 8:37pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



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