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FML with : mom

Number of results : 2064

Today, I discovered that when my mom can't sleep, she comes into my room and reads my text messages. FML

Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly got up and ran to his mom to tell her I was "touching in bad spots". I was tickling his armpits. FML

#21379776
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29899) - you deserved it (2437)

On 03/22/2015 at 10:24pm - kids - by anon - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom got drunk and started crying at my after-wedding party, after promising she'd behave herself. She thinks my husband is an awful person who'll drag me into a life of sin, all because he has a tattoo and an ear piercing. FML

#21379352
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26265) - you deserved it (2442)

On 03/22/2015 at 5:52am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I told my mom I've been having sleep issues and asked if she could take me to the doctor. She decided I just need to read the Bible more. Needless to say, I still can't sleep. FML

#21377689
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27112) - you deserved it (2156)

On 03/19/2015 at 10:24am - health - by david99021 (man) - Turkey (Ankara)

Today, when I dropped my 6-year-old daughter off at school, a little boy ran up to her so I asked his name. My daughter explained: "Oh, don't pay any attention to him, he's my slave. He's come to carry my bag. See you later, mom!" FML

#21377549
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34405) - you deserved it (4459) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/18/2015 at 11:22pm - kids - by mafille - France

Today, my mom and I made the bad decision to go hiking for some mother-daughter bonding even though we had little experience. My mother tumbled down a mountain named Tumbledown and I couldn't even enjoy the irony because I had to half carry her all the way back to the car. FML

#21375957
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26803) - you deserved it (3070)

On 03/16/2015 at 8:56pm - health - by manderpander21 - United States (New York)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I thought everything went well, until I got a text from him later saying, "Come on mom, she isn't THAT bad." FML

#21375407
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29550) - you deserved it (2135)

On 03/16/2015 at 12:10am - love - by anon - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I fell in the shower and knocked myself out. When I came to I turned off the water and called my mom. She seemed more worried about the amount of water I "wasted" than she was about me. FML

#21374975
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27) - you deserved it (2327)

On 03/15/2015 at 11:01am - health - by lordtimbit - Canada (Alberta)

Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML

#21373551
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28477) - you deserved it (3864)

On 03/13/2015 at 12:19am - health - by numbtongue - New Zealand (Otago)

Today, I got in line for my flight to visit a friend in England. My mom was there to see me off, and decided to shout "No sex!" while waving, in front of at least a hundred people who will very likely be sharing the transatlantic flight with me. FML

#21372460
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27306) - you deserved it (2693)

On 03/11/2015 at 11:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML

#21372435
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26397) - you deserved it (7801)

On 03/11/2015 at 9:55am - kids - by birdisnottheword (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mom demanded that I go into the basement and fix the water heater. I told her that I had no idea how to fix it, so she threw my phone down the stairs, told me to Google it, and locked the basement door behind me. It's been two hours. FML

#21371408
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23) - you deserved it (2393)

On 03/09/2015 at 8:28pm - misc - by MyMomIsInsane - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up this morning in a panic. Last night, I heard scratching at my door, but I thought it was just my cat and went back to sleep. This morning, it hit me that my cat is 600 miles away living with my mom in Iowa. I'm terrified to even sleep now. FML

#21370427
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14) - you deserved it (2542)

On 03/08/2015 at 10:41am - animals - by no salt, no burning, just STFU (man) - United States

Today, my little sister complained about a young boy in her class always pulling her hair. She asked when boys will stop doing it. My mom replied, "They won't, even when they're grown-ups," then looked over at my dad and shared a dirty smirk. FML

#21369959
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34885) - you deserved it (3223)

On 03/07/2015 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by greatly disturbed - United States (California)

Today, at an important statewide band performance, my mom stayed in her seat, silent, while everyone else gave a standing ovation. FML



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