Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FML with : mom

Number of results : 1962

Today, my mom spelled my name with all lowercase letters. When I asked her why she wrote it like that, she got pissed and snapped back, "Capitals are for people who amount to something." FML

#21288559
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15008) - you deserved it (1554)

On 10/30/2014 at 6:05pm - misc - by wow (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got sick at school. When someone called my mom for permission for me to leave, she told them she doesn't have a daughter and to never call that number again. FML

#21288116
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24886) - you deserved it (1673)

On 10/29/2014 at 11:58pm - misc - by thealaskanyoung - United States (Indiana)

Today, my mom talked to me and my brother about how great it was that our cousin was getting away from drugs and becoming sober, as he would have so many more opportunities opened up for him now. She explained all this while sitting on our patio, smoking a blunt. FML

#21287196
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26288) - you deserved it (2726)

On 10/28/2014 at 7:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom called and casually let me know she'd wrecked my iPad after putting it in the dryer with my bed sheets. FML

#21284691
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29316) - you deserved it (3877)

On 10/24/2014 at 10:53pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. In the heat of the moment, I said his name. He immediately stopped, gave me a deadly serious look and said "Huh? What?" FML

#21284688
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28229) - you deserved it (3514)

On 10/24/2014 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I walked into the kitchen at the exact moment my uncle decided to bend over in short shorts. Apparently, his ballsack decided it needed extra room, because it dangled out of his pant leg. FML

#21283844
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34422) - you deserved it (2702)

On 10/23/2014 at 4:05pm - misc - by Alexismaria - United States

Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job, mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML

#21283795
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33703) - you deserved it (4085)

On 10/23/2014 at 2:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my psycho mom walked in while I was chilling and having fun with some friends. She kicked them out and now wants to drug test me, because "Nobody's that happy without drugs". FML

#21280487
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37757) - you deserved it (2554)

On 10/18/2014 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, it's my mom's birthday. Got the perfect gift, the perfect card and of course the perfect cake. Well, it was the perfect cake until my dog's ass crushed it. FML

Today, as I was about to leave home for my first sweet taste of freedom at my new apartment, my car died. I'm stuck here for at least the weekend and can look forward to my mom driving me to work. Freedom. FML

#21274254
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26892) - you deserved it (2387)

On 10/09/2014 at 1:53pm - misc - by gonesofast - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I showed my mom a picture of a baby sloth. She then said, "Wait, sloths are real?" She thought Ice Age made them up. FML

#21273306
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36110) - you deserved it (3045)

On 10/08/2014 at 2:02am - animals - by queenmeme - United States (California)

Today, I told my mom that I got into National Honor Society and Beta Club. Most parents are proud but not her. She told me to get a job and that she was tired of my school shit. FML

#21272922
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30734) - you deserved it (2217)

On 10/07/2014 at 5:10pm - misc - by wtfmom - United States (Alabama)

Today, I told my mom that once I leave school, I want to join the clergy, and how much it meant to me. Her response: "Never knew you wanted to molest kids so much!" FML

#21270314
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29916) - you deserved it (6334)

On 10/03/2014 at 9:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, my mom got genuinely angry at me because I refused to let her pop a zit that I had "promised" she could pop a few days back. She said with utmost look of disappointment that I'm "not a man of my word". FML

#21267417
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30156) - you deserved it (4900)

On 09/29/2014 at 12:31am - misc - by SystemofaBlink41 (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I found out my parents are divorcing and my mom is moving out. I'm 11 weeks pregnant. Breaking the news should be fun. FML

#21265944
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32066) - you deserved it (6083)

On 09/26/2014 at 6:07pm - misc - by 19collegestudentandpregant - United States (Tennessee)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: