FML with : porn

Number of results : 190

Today, my brother walked in on me jerking off. I managed to close the porn tab, at least, only to end up on my mom's Facebook profile. FML

by Anonymous / 05/20/2016 at 12:59pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my father bought a pair of fancy noise cancelling headphones. He doesn't realise that the noise cancelling function only slightly muffles the moaning and screaming in the porn he's watching. FML

by Char-azard / 05/17/2016 at 5:03am / New Zealand (Hawke's Bay) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that if I take back my expensive headphones that my daughter constantly borrows, she will play porn on max volume, whether or not I have guests over. FML

Today, my mom finally noticed the joke file I have on my PC desktop called "bigcocklovespussy.jpg". It's just a cute picture of a chicken snuggling with a cat. She didn't actually open the file and just deleted it. She won't believe my explanation and grounded me for a month for "looking at porn". FML

by Anonymous / 04/17/2016 at 7:52am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my younger cousin trying to find Minecraft porn. FML

by billjoebob424 / 03/18/2016 at 9:18pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I accidentally forwarded a link to a weird fart porn video to my chat group. They've been silent for 30 minutes now. FML

by Anonymous / 02/06/2016 at 12:55am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I've been calling my pet snake "Mr. Snake" for two years now. I decided to look up the name, and boy do I regret it. It turns out Mr. Snake is a porn site. I've named my snake after porn and have been introducing him to family with that name for two years. FML

by GeeLoftus / 01/31/2016 at 2:32pm / United States (New Jersey) / Animals

Today, my parents installed spyware on my computer after reading an article about teens ordering drugs from the deep web. Now I'm too afraid to watch porn because I don't want my parents to know when I'm jacking off. FML

by AustinFFA / 01/22/2016 at 11:46am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my dad made me figure out how to disable the adult content filters on our internet. He spent what must have been a full 10 minutes on a distracting, long-winded speech about how he doesn't want to look up porn, but "it's just the principle of the damn thing". Sure, dad. Sure. FML

by Anonymous / 01/15/2016 at 11:16pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to my wife yelling at my 11-year-old because she found porn on the laptop. Now I have to come clean and tell her it was me so I can get him off the hook. FML

by oldskoolfun / 12/26/2015 at 6:04pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, I turned 18. My dad congratulated me and gifted me his collection of old porn magazines. Not bad, dad, but perhaps not during family dinner next time. FML

by NotSoComfortable / 12/17/2015 at 4:10am / Italy (Veneto) / Intimacy

Today, I grazed my hand over the bottom of my desk's keyboard tray, and found something sticky. I gagged when I realized it was jizz, and I immediately washed my hands and wiped everything. I then checked my browser history, which was full of porn. Thanks, roomie. FML

by katluvnc / 12/03/2015 at 9:02am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was jerking off quietly so my roommates wouldn't hear me. In the middle of it, one of them sent me a screenshot of an error message on a porn site, asking if I was having the same problem. I guess I wasn't being so quiet after all. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2015 at 8:17am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that aside from being savagely overworked and treated like shit for zero pay, another one of my responsibilities as an intern is to take the blame for my boss accidentally posting a link to a porn site on the company's Twitter account. FML

by Anonymous / 11/03/2015 at 12:54pm / United States / Work

Today, as I snuck downstairs for a midnight movie, I witnessed my dad "polishing his wand" to Harry Potter porn in the living room. FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2015 at 8:12am / Philippines (Quezon City) / Intimacy