Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FML with : love

Number of results : 618

Today, my dad asked me how I would feel about going on an all-expenses-paid, month-long holiday to the Caribbean. I was ecstatic and broke into tears of joy, saying I'd love it. He replied, "Yeah, me too. Shame it ain't happening!" then left for work, laughing his arse off. FML

#21220536
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21751) - you deserved it (4051)

On 07/25/2014 at 6:46pm - misc - by xXshitface4uXx (woman) - New Zealand (Bay of Plenty)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML

#21208053
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42286) - you deserved it (4318)

On 07/13/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML

#21183341
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42401) - you deserved it (4382)

On 06/21/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by LoveGlove (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was reading butthurt comments about how girl gamers can easily get dates and find love by simply existing. I'm a "girl gamer" who hasn't even found a date, let alone love. I've been looking since I was sixteen. I'm now 27. FML

#21179364
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44521) - you deserved it (7038)

On 06/18/2014 at 12:48pm - love - by AgentRarity (woman) -

Today, I was working my shift at our local nursing home. I was assisting a "sweet", "innocent" 100-year-old lady, and she had a bunch of used tissues balled up in her lap, so I offered to dispose of them in the waste-basket. She told me that if I touched them, she would kill everything I love. FML

#21175899
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43584) - you deserved it (4921)

On 06/15/2014 at 8:21pm - work - by caleighrossi - United States (Iowa)

Today, I learned that my daughter was looking for love in all the wrong places, specifically the county jail. FML

Today, I told my girlfriend that I love her. She panicked and blurted out our S&M safeword. FML

#21152151
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46205) - you deserved it (6391)

On 05/26/2014 at 11:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend found a movie he loved on Netflix. He was so excited to show it to me and was certain I'd love it. I didn't have the heart to tell him what I really thought of White Chicks. FML

#21148492
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35537) - you deserved it (9167)

On 05/22/2014 at 5:27pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my 15-year-old son told me that he and his new girlfriend are deeply in love and are meant for each other. The "girlfriend" in question? My fiancé's 12-year old daughter. FML

#21143037
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47089) - you deserved it (5238)

On 05/17/2014 at 3:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my dad seemed moody, so to lift his spirits, I told him I love him. He just snorted, "You gay or something, boy?" Really mature, dad, really mature. FML

#21136683
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40560) - you deserved it (4875)

On 05/11/2014 at 1:57pm - love - by not gay in AL (man) - United States

Today, a guy drunkenly professed his love for me. He did this after walking in on me peeing, which he decided was the time to tell me such a thing. FML

#21135494
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35477) - you deserved it (3404)

On 05/10/2014 at 9:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my parents decided to get with the times. So far, they've made me get Snapchat and Instagram accounts, and made me add them on Facebook. They keep acting like annoying teenagers, and get mad at me when I don't play along. For the love of god, somebody save me. FML

#21134960
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43639) - you deserved it (4955)

On 05/09/2014 at 4:41pm - misc - by Anais Strongrump III Jr. (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my four year old son came into the restroom while I was applying my make-up, and asked me "Mommy, are you putting on make-up so that someone will love you?" FML

Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML

#21131182
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11) - you deserved it (17873)

On 05/05/2014 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Zekrome - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked the girl I like if she had her eye on anyone, subtly hinting that I wanted to date her. I sat there while she confessed her love for her cousin. FML

#21130812
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47145) - you deserved it (5618)

On 05/04/2014 at 8:13pm - love - by Wowthanks - United States (Colorado)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: