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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Number of results : 1782

Today, I woke up after taking the new sleeping pills I was prescribed for my insomnia. I slept for 12 hours and had 5 missed calls from my boss. FML

#21346205
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13524) - you deserved it (1231)

On 01/29/2015 at 1:32pm - health - by anon - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the local park for some romantic time together. By the time we left, I'd been called a pedo and a cradle robber, and been given several dirty looks. I'm 31. My boyfriend is 30 and just very baby-faced. FML

#21345623
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20660) - you deserved it (1752)

On 01/28/2015 at 2:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it's been 3 months since my dog scratched my 9 year old granddaughter after she walked over and repeatedly kicked him. My daughter has disowned me and won't let me see my own grandchildren until I have my companion of 11 years "destroyed". FML

#21343453
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32831) - you deserved it (2254)

On 01/24/2015 at 1:33pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Giurgiu)

Today, during a family game of basketball, my 15 year old son shoved me hard to get the ball. I fell and cut my arm badly on the ground. I yelled at him for being an idiot. He replied "Oh jeez, a bleeding woman being a bitch, what a fucking shocker." My husband doubled over laughing. FML

#21342921
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35656) - you deserved it (6483)

On 01/23/2015 at 2:25pm - kids - by nosexforthee (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my in-laws were visiting. My mother-in-law asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He said "A pimp!" I have no idea where he even heard the word, but the death glares my in-laws gave me made me want to shrivel up and die. FML

#21342258
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26053) - you deserved it (2609)

On 01/22/2015 at 1:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I babysat an 11 year old kid while his parents ate out. As soon as they left, the kid asked me if I wanted to be on the sex offender's list. Before I could even process that, he told me to stay out of his way and he wouldn't accuse me of anything. FML

#21341483
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34565) - you deserved it (2155)

On 01/21/2015 at 6:57am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my 15 year old sister asked which animal rice comes from. She believed every word when my mum told her it's harvested from tiny cows in Asia. FML

#21340484
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27249) - you deserved it (2257)

On 01/19/2015 at 7:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend's dad called me a whore and said I'm trying to use his son and "steal" his virginity for my own needs. My boyfriend has had sex with over 10 girls and I'm a virgin. FML

#21339329
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36759) - you deserved it (2589)

On 01/18/2015 at 1:29am - intimacy - by virginwhore (woman) -

Today, my parents threatened to take away my college funds. Why? Because I complained about my 10 pm curfew during break as a freshman in college. FML

#21339229
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29449) - you deserved it (4354)

On 01/17/2015 at 10:50pm - money - by sophiae123 - United States (Michigan)

Today, my dad was looking for a flashlight in my bedroom. He trashed the place, which I'd just cleaned. Turns out the flashlight was in his bedroom. Then I got a 10 minute lecture on how I was such a slob and I should take more care of my bedroom. FML

#21338508
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29909) - you deserved it (1958)

On 01/16/2015 at 8:47pm - misc - by moonchic - United States (New York)

Today, my mom paid me a surprise visit me at my university dorm. She ended up rifling through my stuff and started to pull out a box from on top of my wardrobe. Before I could stop her, it slipped and fell. Today's forecast: 100% chance of dildo rain. FML

#21338507
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31444) - you deserved it (4494)

On 01/16/2015 at 8:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized that while I've been the same minuscule height for the past five years, my feet won't stop growing. I'm 5 foot and a size 12. I look like a clown. FML

#21338417
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27680) - you deserved it (5582)

On 01/16/2015 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, like every day, I woke up at 3 in the morning because my roommate needs "a three hour warning" before his real alarm goes off. His alarm is a constant beeping noise which he always ignores for a good 10 minutes before finally getting up and turning it off. FML

#21338310
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28443) - you deserved it (2568)

On 01/16/2015 at 1:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, a council worker showed up on my doorstep for the final pool installation inspection, which was scheduled 10 years ago. FML

#21336247
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29524) - you deserved it (1987)

On 01/13/2015 at 3:28am - misc - by livingstonjamie - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my little brother walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex and threatened to tell my parents. I paid him $30 to keep quiet. 15 minutes later he told them. FML

#21335701
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32125) - you deserved it (11546)

On 01/12/2015 at 11:43am - intimacy - by bowler99 - United States (New York)



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