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Today, my 17-year-old son managed to easily convince my 13-year-old daughter that if you have sex before getting married, you'll instantly get horrible diseases that will kill you. Her freaking out is how I found out she's not only gullible as hell, but sexually active as well. FML

#21283066
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22384) - you deserved it (2610)

On 10/22/2014 at 12:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I volunteered to tutor a 17-year-old girl in science. I had to explain in detail of what the real Big Bang theory was, as she only knew about the show. Later, I heard I was reported by her because apparently, "I was trying to convert her to Scientology." I now know why she needed a tutor. FML

Today, after months of job hunting, I started a new job in a deli. I've been a vegetarian since I was 13, but it was the only job I could find. Turns out, I'm allergic to the preservatives they use, as my fingers now resemble sausages. Guess it's time to start job hunting again. FML

Today, I caught my 15-year-old son trying to roll catnip into a joint and smoke it. FML

#21281464
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27659) - you deserved it (3621)

On 10/19/2014 at 11:48pm - kids - by Bad Dad - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent". I got pranked by myself. FML

#21281163
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25847) - you deserved it (6627)

On 10/19/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by Deadpool434 (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my son drank a bottle of hot sauce. It wasn't a dare, he actually thought that it would give him a fever so that he could skip school tomorrow. This idiot is 15 years old. FML

#21276472
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34644) - you deserved it (4319)

On 10/12/2014 at 8:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my son was crying because he's afraid he might get Ebola. We live in Maine, and he's 16. FML

Today, at age 31, I was about to finally lose my virginity. As we tumbled onto the bed, an excruciating pain shot through my stomach. It turned out to be a hernia, and no, I didn't get laid in the end. FML

#21271185
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36076) - you deserved it (3305)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:55am - intimacy - by fucksake (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, I overheard my daughter talking to her boyfriend over the phone about having sex. She said, "You have to piss on me to get me pregnant, that's what I heard anyway." She's 16. FML

#21270711
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40020) - you deserved it (8484)

On 10/04/2014 at 3:52pm - intimacy - by SadMother - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I thought I would be cute for my 1 year anniversary with my girlfriend so I cooked a three course meal for her with candles and rose petals on the floor. She loved the dinner, except now she's passed out in a food coma upstairs while I'm left with the dishes. FML

#21270586
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34895) - you deserved it (6247)

On 10/04/2014 at 9:57am - love - by cuteloser (man) - Australia

Today, the only reason I work 12-hour shifts and close at midnight every Saturday is because my boss doesn't like the fact that I have a boyfriend. FML

Today, my little sister had her second son. She is 31 and she named her sons after her favorite television characters, Sam and Dean Winchester. She has made it her life goal to make sure her husband never finds out. FML

#21269654
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29888) - you deserved it (3791)

On 10/02/2014 at 4:29pm - kids - by mykodu - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the day before my wife and I leave for our 1 year anniversary trip, I realized my passport expires in 2014, not 2015. Instead of a week's stay at an all-inclusive resort in the Dominican Republic, we'll be spending three days in Louisville. Three angry days in Louisville. FML

#21266059
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30036) - you deserved it (18029)

On 09/26/2014 at 10:23pm - love - by dumass - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out my parents are divorcing and my mom is moving out. I'm 11 weeks pregnant. Breaking the news should be fun. FML

#21265944
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32033) - you deserved it (6080)

On 09/26/2014 at 6:07pm - misc - by 19collegestudentandpregant - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I asked my 12-year-old son what he wanted for his birthday. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "A whore." FML

#21265910
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39426) - you deserved it (6264)

On 09/26/2014 at 5:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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