Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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FML with : 1

Number of results : 1826

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than 10 feet away from me. FML

#21399833
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23879) - you deserved it (1824)

On 04/26/2015 at 3:09am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a cute, new guy I always run into at work hit on me. Turns out he's only 18. I'm old enough to be his mom. FML

#21399135
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23014) - you deserved it (2967)

On 04/24/2015 at 5:46pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, it was my 18th birthday and I was told I couldn't get the night off work because a party of 34 had booked into the restaurant. It turned out my family had come in to 'celebrate' by making me wait on them. They were a nightmare, thought it was hilarious to be difficult, and didn't tip. FML

#21398382
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35240) - you deserved it (2317)

On 04/23/2015 at 8:28am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Dundee City)

Today, I came out as bisexual to my 17-year-old sister. She was quiet for a second, then told me she knows for sure I only have "girl parts". I had to explain to her the difference between being bi and being a hermaphrodite. FML

#21397585
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27576) - you deserved it (3055)

On 04/21/2015 at 7:00pm - intimacy - by Notthatone (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, after a relaxing week away, my husband and I came home to discover our 17 year old son crashed one of our cars against the other. FML

#21396823
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26661) - you deserved it (3121)

On 04/20/2015 at 12:57pm - money - by ihatekids - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I read my 10-year-old sister's diary. That's how I found out about her disturbingly detailed plan to murder me, make it look like suicide, date my boyfriend after helping him get over my death, then marry him. FML

#21395572
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36398) - you deserved it (4658)

On 04/18/2015 at 3:01am - kids - by Anonymus (woman) - Sweden

Today, my 13-year-old sister told me that she wants to get pregnant soon to stop her periods for a while. I can't believe we're related. FML

#21393492
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30861) - you deserved it (2405)

On 04/14/2015 at 11:49am - health - by TheGoodSister - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I ran into the woman who hit my car and drove off three days ago. She was my bank teller. I called 911; she pressed the silent alarm. Guess whose story the cops believed. FML

#21392789
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35024) - you deserved it (2351)

On 04/13/2015 at 5:00am - misc - by yupthissucks - United States (Georgia)

Today, my husband and I caught our 12-year-old son "experimenting" with a 5-foot tall stuffed Mickey Mouse. He even made sure to rip Mickey's pants off. FML

#21392745
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28472) - you deserved it (3008)

On 04/13/2015 at 1:35am - intimacy - by bigmouthedmommy - United States (California)

Today, my 16 year old daughter convinced her little sister that I am a robot. Now every time I try to talk to her she starts crying. FML

#21392253
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26950) - you deserved it (2050)

On 04/12/2015 at 6:33am - kids - by anon - United States (California)

Today, after getting a pay raise at work after 15 years and pulling a loan for a new house, I went back to work from a two-week paid vacation to find out that I had been fired two weeks ago for "no call, no show". My manager claims he doesn't recall ever signing a paper for my paid vacation. FML

Today, I got grounded because my mom found a condom in the bathroom trashcan and assumed it was mine. I took the blame because I was too embarrassed to admit that it must have belonged to my 13-year-old brother, since I'm still a virgin at 19. FML

#21391452
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30165) - you deserved it (4646)

On 04/10/2015 at 7:16pm - misc - by uglybrother (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, after locking myself out of my house, I let myself into my car to wait on someone with a spare key. It took me 15 minutes to realise the house and car key share the same ring. FML

#21390076
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18981) - you deserved it (15389)

On 04/08/2015 at 3:36pm - misc - by losing the plot (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I walked in on my 17-year-old brother jerking it to a scene from the movie Frozen. Brain bleach, please. FML

#21390007
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34855) - you deserved it (3637)

On 04/08/2015 at 1:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I started lactating. That would be fine if I had a kid. Or was pregnant. Or wasn't 16. FML



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