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Number of results : 1718

Today, the day before my wife and I leave for our 1 year anniversary trip, I realized my passport expires in 2014, not 2015. Instead of a week's stay at an all-inclusive resort in the Dominican Republic, we'll be spending three days in Louisville. Three angry days in Louisville. FML

#21266059
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27546) - you deserved it (16629)

On 09/26/2014 at 10:23pm - love - by dumass - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out my parents are divorcing and my mom is moving out. I'm 11 weeks pregnant. Breaking the news should be fun. FML

#21265944
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29284) - you deserved it (5791)

On 09/26/2014 at 6:07pm - misc - by 19collegestudentandpregant - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I asked my 12-year-old son what he wanted for his birthday. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "A whore." FML

#21265910
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34293) - you deserved it (5430)

On 09/26/2014 at 5:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom threw away a bag of tiny parts belonging to a $1,700 robot. Naturally, I figured this out at midnight and had to spend 30 minutes digging through three nasty trashcans overflowing with rotten food and spiders. The bag was dripping with what looked like cheese by the time I found it. FML

Today, a new fire alarm system is being installed in my building. Not only does the alarm go off incessantly, but the elevators stop running when it happens. I live on the 12th floor. FML

Today, I had a volleyball game, and we were down by 13 points. I looked up at the crowd, and my mom was shaking her head in disappointment. When it was my turn to serve, I aced them, and tied the score. When I looked up she was gone. She'd left. When I got home, I heard how I sucked for an hour. FML

#21260940
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39030) - you deserved it (2388)

On 09/18/2014 at 9:56pm - misc - by Lexi801 - United States (Utah)

Today, I got an Economics test back from my professor. I got a 17/20. I looked it over and noticed one of the questions was completely right. I checked the textbook he made and the answer was the same. I asked him why it was wrong, and he responded with, "I guess I changed my mind." FML

#21260926
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35937) - you deserved it (2181)

On 09/18/2014 at 9:44pm - misc - by badprofessor - United States (New York)

Today, in college, we were asked at what age girls tend to become physically attractive. Wrongly thinking the answer was in relation to puberty, I said "Umm... 11 or 12?" Now everyone thinks I'm some kind of pedophile. FML

#21259479
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36950) - you deserved it (8305)

On 09/16/2014 at 2:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I babysat a 10 year old from hell. She kept insulting me, saying I have tiny boobs, that boys must hate me, and that I'm ugly. I eventually got fed up and put her to bed. When her parents came back, she ran out of her room in tears and told them I'd beaten her. They believed it. FML

#21258738
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38530) - you deserved it (2259)

On 09/15/2014 at 11:51am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I confiscated a 1st grader's cell phone. It was better than anything I could come close to affording. FML

#21256659
151 comments

Today, someone in my class referred to the September 11th attacks as "Nine-Elevs". FML

#21255951
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35314) - you deserved it (2819)

On 09/10/2014 at 9:47pm - misc - by no - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mother told me that she and my father aren't coming to my wedding if my estranged brother who stopped talking to me two years ago isn't invited. She claims they don't want to choose sides. Brother: 1. Me: 0. FML

Today, my boyfriend canceled his plans to attend my father's wake, not even 10 minutes after he found out there won't be any alcohol on offer. FML

#21253199
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33380) - you deserved it (3445)

On 09/06/2014 at 6:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I caught my little sister taking a selfie in the mirror with a fake nose piercing, peace sign, and a duck face. She's 12. FML

#21251377
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37871) - you deserved it (3351)

On 09/03/2014 at 7:35pm - kids - by MusicLover18 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML

#21249089
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46774) - you deserved it (3795)

On 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by disappointedjamaican - United Kingdom (Coventry)



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