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FML with : dog

Number of results : 857

Today, I found my dog drinking out of the toilet. My daughter was next to him, also drinking from the toilet. FML

#21464273
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16723) - you deserved it (1823)

On 09/03/2015 at 9:06pm - kids - by whoevenncares - United States

Today, I had to pull chunks of digested blanket out of my dog's ass because she refuses to listen to me when I tell her not to eat the damn blanket. I can't stop smelling it. FML

Today, while babysitting, I made the kids and myself peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. When their parents came home, their dad took out the same container of peanut butter I had used and let their dog lick out of it. FML

#21462597
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20718) - you deserved it (1675)

On 08/30/2015 at 2:44pm - animals - by anon - United States

Today, I found out that while my sister can somehow manage to keep an eye on and control her three preschool-aged children at the park, making sure nobody steals my dog from right beside her is just too big of a job. FML

#21462507
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20671) - you deserved it (2829)

On 08/30/2015 at 9:29am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I found dog poop in my room that had probably been there for days. My girlfriend, who was watching the house, said she didn't realize it was there, because she thought it was the smell of her own farts. FML

#21462289
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20048) - you deserved it (1808)

On 08/29/2015 at 8:06pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to give my dog a bath. Instead, my dog gave me a bath. FML

#21461710
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17264) - you deserved it (3149)

On 08/28/2015 at 1:18pm - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, on my daughter's 9th birthday, I have to let her know that her dog died in his sleep overnight. Happy birthday. FML

Today, I spent an hour trying to sleep before work, but I couldn't because my two dogs wouldn't stop barking. Completely pissed off, I finally went and told the little fuck nuggets to shut the shit up. I was then immediately knocked unconscious by the burglar in my house. FML

Today, I was at my summer babysitting job. The family's dog puked on the carpet and I proceeded to clean it up with baking soda and a mix of water/vinegar. Instead of blending in with the other areas of the carpet, the one spot I cleaned is white while the other areas are still darkened by filth. FML

#21460085
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21050) - you deserved it (2101)

On 08/24/2015 at 1:32pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was eating and my dog kept bothering me. She kept scratching my legs for food, so I took a large piece of fish from my plate and tossed it out into the hallway. It flew right into my mother's face. FML

#21459109
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18861) - you deserved it (7140)

On 08/21/2015 at 11:55pm - misc - by FishFlingingMonkey (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I told my daughter that we're going to the beach. Today, my daughter also tried to dig up our deceased dog that we buried in our back yard last week so it can come along. FML

#21458250
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22109) - you deserved it (1536)

On 08/19/2015 at 10:38pm - kids - by GlueAndCarrots - Canada (Ontario)

Today, we learned that our dog can run and urinate simultaneously. The entire house smells like piss. FML

#21456522
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21564) - you deserved it (1723)

On 08/15/2015 at 11:16pm - animals - by anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I had to ride in the back seat of a car, next to a large, hyperactive dog who experiences nervous bowel movements. FML

#21455554
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21100) - you deserved it (1470)

On 08/13/2015 at 10:54am - animals - by grace (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I asked my one-year-old to come and give mommy a kiss. She did and it was really sweet, until she tried to spit a piece of dog food into my mouth. FML

#21452734
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21531) - you deserved it (2867)

On 08/06/2015 at 1:28pm - kids - by gross - United States

Today, my local USPS delivery man refused to deliver any more packages to my house, because in the past, my dogs have barked at him and he feels threatened. He also filed a complaint about our house because apparently my driveway has branches that, to him, are considered "hazardous." FML



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