Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FML with : dog

Number of results : 749

Today, I had to awkwardly grab my pink dildo after my husband's friend asked what it was that my dog was chewing on. FML

Today, I found out that my doctor wasn't kidding when he said "sudden diarrhea may occur" with my new medication. I learned this while walking my dog a mile away from my house. FML

Today, I realized my dog looks at me with way more love in his eyes than my own boyfriend does. FML

#21237384
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35962) - you deserved it (4530)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:06am - animals - by hopeless romantic - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized that my dog, who's 11, eats his own shit, and chews bones like crazy still has 10 times nicer teeth than I do. FML

#21232602
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31405) - you deserved it (7332)

On 08/08/2014 at 3:34pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while I was waiting for the train, a woman sat next to me. Her dog jumped up between us and I started petting it. She took this to mean we were now close enough for her to tell me in detail about her experience so far going through the menopause. FML

#21228437
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35274) - you deserved it (3724)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, my father tripped over the dog and hit a wall. He was so convinced his arm was broken that we waited for 3 hours in emergency to find out he had a bruise. FML

#21225316
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33819) - you deserved it (2873)

On 07/30/2014 at 11:12pm - misc - by anon - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was cooking bacon while my dog watched me, drooling. I thought this was funny and I teased her a bit. I then slipped in the drool as I was carrying the bacon and she got to enjoy it. FML

#21219985
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18210) - you deserved it (48144)

On 07/25/2014 at 2:05am - animals - by fuckendog (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I woke up to my dog jumping on my bed and licking me all over. It would've been fine, if I hadn't woken the first time a few minutes earlier to the sight of him going to town on his balls. FML

#21210701
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33552) - you deserved it (4405)

On 07/16/2014 at 11:44am - animals - by ballbreath (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I left the house I'm staying at, not knowing that thunderstorms were forecast. I came back from work to find dog shit splattered all over the kitchen. Apparently the dogs I'm watching don't like thunder. FML

#21209155
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36320) - you deserved it (4648)

On 07/14/2014 at 6:48pm - animals - by Hiimhaileypotter (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I caught my dog drinking from the toilet. After yelling at him, his apology was licking my face. FML

#21208337
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34537) - you deserved it (8351)

On 07/13/2014 at 10:10pm - animals - by dogggg (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, after leaving my mom's house, I got 4 text messages from her about how I was a terrible person for not saying goodbye to my sister when I left. The "sister" she was referring to is the family dog. FML

#21192815
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39319) - you deserved it (4171)

On 06/29/2014 at 6:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my sweet 7-month-old puppy ran up to a big fat dog at the park and did what she always does: roll over on her back to start to play. The big fat dog lifted his leg and peed all over my puppy's belly. After the shock, my soaking wet puppy jumped on me. FML

#21188726
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45334) - you deserved it (5097)

On 06/26/2014 at 12:57am - animals - by Pisser (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was talking to my boss about dogs and cats. I'm a dog person; he's a cat person. He told me that he likes cats better, because they are laid back and don't do anything all day. Before I could stop myself, I blurted out, "Just like you?" FML

#21188385
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36365) - you deserved it (24705)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:20pm - work - by Respect101 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I lost my dog while hiking. After searching the trails for an hour and a half, he was by the car. FML

Today, my roommate's pets conspired against me. "The dog ate my homework" has apparently become too clichéd for them. The new excuses are, "My cat chewed through my laptop power cable" and "the gecko ate my pen drive." FML

#21171341
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40611) - you deserved it (4417)

On 06/11/2014 at 8:00pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)



FML's blog

  • AD_e's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang ! It's Friday once more and time for us to go on a magical mystery tour around the brain of yet another illustrator. This week, things have happened around the world that were so depressing, I don't…

Monday 18 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: