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FML with : dog

Number of results : 781

Today, I shaved my beard in preparation for an important work conference. Now my dog won't stop growling and barking at me. FML

#21345020
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17800) - you deserved it (2170)

On 01/27/2015 at 10:09am - animals - by dogproblems (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, it's been 3 months since my dog scratched my 9 year old granddaughter after she walked over and repeatedly kicked him. My daughter has disowned me and won't let me see my own grandchildren until I have my companion of 11 years "destroyed". FML

#21343453
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32049) - you deserved it (2208)

On 01/24/2015 at 1:33pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Giurgiu)

Today, I was accused of letting my dog take a shit on the sidewalk and not picking it up. My dog's a chihuahua, and the turd was almost longer than he is. I got fined anyway. FML

#21339093
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28055) - you deserved it (4791) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2015 at 4:12pm - animals - by Titatoum - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, I told my dog to give me the stick he had in his mouth so I could throw it for him. After I picked it up I realized it was a dried-out piece of shit. FML

#21338477
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20655) - you deserved it (12158)

On 01/16/2015 at 7:37pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I wanted to surprise my roommate by picking her up from class with her dog. Her dog decided to surprise me by dumping a load on my passenger seat. FML

#21337685
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17160) - you deserved it (14896)

On 01/15/2015 at 3:30pm - animals - by surprise - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my girlfriend was making lunch and asked me to pass her the peanut butter. I'll never know why, but as I handed it to her I said the first thing that came to mind: "I really want a dog." She looked at me in horror, then told me to get out of her house. FML

#21334531
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24098) - you deserved it (4257)

On 01/10/2015 at 3:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I got mugged while walking my dog. He seemed to be OK with it. FML

#21326870
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27292) - you deserved it (2498)

On 12/29/2014 at 11:17pm - animals - by woofwoof - Turkey (Izmir)

Today, at Christmas dinner, my grandmother talked about the death of every single dog she ever had. All 10 of them. FML

#21323815
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29635) - you deserved it (2460)

On 12/25/2014 at 6:47am - misc - by dunn76 - United States

Today, I was home alone when I heard the carbon-monoxide detector beeping. Panicking, I grabbed my dog, ran out of my house as fast as I could, and waited outside for 3 hours for my mom to get home. Turned out the detector was just out of batteries. FML

#21315834
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26568) - you deserved it (6705)

On 12/11/2014 at 9:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML

#21315694
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35398) - you deserved it (4278)

On 12/11/2014 at 4:47pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up feeling awful and decided to make myself a nice egg omelette with bacon, toast and fresh fruit. As I went to eat it, I stubbed my toe and dropped it all on the floor. My dogs were very happy about that. FML

#21312082
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28492) - you deserved it (2792)

On 12/05/2014 at 4:00pm - misc - by Dani (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while I was on a field trip with my son, my husband decided to get rid of our dog without asking anyone. Now I get to pick up the pieces of a broken heart, and he thinks he did nothing wrong. FML

#21311410
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32599) - you deserved it (2477)

On 12/04/2014 at 1:30pm - animals - by yolonono (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my little brother learned about mortality when our dog died. Since then, he's gone a little nuts and keeps ranting that he sees no point as to why our other dog should live. He's 16. FML

#21306062
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28742) - you deserved it (2285)

On 11/26/2014 at 7:09am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, I found out that my dog likes to howl when he hears sirens. I live next to the fire station. FML

#21305878
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28698) - you deserved it (3188)

On 11/25/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by drreeeewwww - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I got home and found my wife cuddling with the dog and our new kitten. Both the cat and my wife hissed at me when I tried to join in. FML

#21298618
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32142) - you deserved it (3716)

On 11/13/2014 at 9:14pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)



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