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FML with : dog

Number of results : 803

Today, my fiancé threatened to break up with me if our dog couldn't be the best man at our wedding. FML

#21399911
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20178) - you deserved it (3547)

On 04/26/2015 at 9:35am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was bitten by a therapy dog. FML

#21399578
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23833) - you deserved it (2623)

On 04/25/2015 at 4:42pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad woke me up at 5am saying that there was dog shit on the carpet. I thought it was just a clever ruse to get me into the living room for a birthday surprise. It wasn't. There really was dog shit that I had to clean up, with no "Happy birthday"s even uttered. FML

#21397338
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29302) - you deserved it (2410)

On 04/21/2015 at 8:51am - animals - by 21ShitCleaner - United States (California)

Today, a friendly game of Cards Against Humanity somehow ended in a screaming match, my best friend's mother pulling out her tits, and me getting bit in the foot by a dog. FML

Today, a few weeks after teaching my dog to fetch my phone and drop it in my lap, he decided to do it spontaneously. Too bad I was in the bath at the time. There goes a $300 phone. FML

#21394097
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25842) - you deserved it (18738)

On 04/15/2015 at 1:18pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I got trapped in my building's elevator for over an hour, with my dog who I had been rushing outside with because he had explosive diarrhea. FML

#21391716
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33409) - you deserved it (2488)

On 04/11/2015 at 8:12am - animals - by Crappy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while walking my dog, I opened my mouth to yawn. A wasp took the opportunity to fly into my mouth and announce its presence by stinging my tongue. FML

Today, I found out just how much my dog likes ice-cream when she tackled a little girl at a park for hers. FML

Today, I was pickpocketed. I didn't realize until I stopped to get breakfast. I went back home to see that my dog had taken my wallet and had ripped and torn it up. I was pickpocketed by my own dog. FML

#21388506
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26574) - you deserved it (3138)

On 04/06/2015 at 7:44am - animals - by tannerrosetx_1 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was startled by my roommate marching a drunk man out of our apartment. Somehow he found his way in complete darkness into the bathroom without alerting me or my dog next to the only door. He mistook the clothes hamper for the toilet. FML

Today, my sister shot my dog with my airsoft gun. When I told my parents, she put on the fakest sobbing I've ever heard, said she didn't even know how to use a gun, and that she saw me shoot my own dog. They believed her and think I need psychiatric help. FML

#21378741
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31426) - you deserved it (1987)

On 03/21/2015 at 1:36am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out how much those tiny dogs cost when my German Shepherd ate one. FML

#21377263
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (298) - you deserved it (9917)

On 03/18/2015 at 6:23pm - animals - by brokeforever (man) - Latvia (Riga)

Today, while walking my dog, we came across two men having a heated argument in the street. My dog decided the perfect place to poop was right next to them. He wouldn't budge no matter what. Meanwhile, one of the men pulled a knife, and I practically shat myself. FML

#21374140
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29670) - you deserved it (2440)

On 03/13/2015 at 11:30pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I was walking my dog around my neighborhood, when I saw this really cute boy. My dog then saw a squirrel and dragged me through mud. FML

#21373531
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27232) - you deserved it (2993)

On 03/12/2015 at 11:55pm - animals - by psh_idontbite (woman) - United States

Today, I was walking my dog. Suddenly, my insane neighbor who loves dogs a bit too much comes over and asks to pet my dog. I say OK, thinking that if I watch her, she won't do anything. I turn around to make sure no cars are coming and when I turn back, she's trying to steal my dog. FML



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