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FML with : girlfriend
Number of results : 2031
Today, my girlfriend and I finally watched Toy Story 3; I ended up crying when the toys almost die. After the movie, my girlfriend broke up with me because I embarrassed her. FML
Today, my bandmate and I decided to propose to our girlfriends, who are also in the band, at the same time in the middle of a concert. His girlfriend said yes. Mine ran off the stage crying. FML
Today, my girlfriend wants to make a video of us having sex for us to watch later and figure out how to improve our skills in bed. The problem is her choice of cameraman: her uncle. FML
Today, my fiancé left me waiting at the train station for two and a half hours because he offered his ex-girlfriend a lift to her friends wedding that was a few cities away. I normally wouldn't have minded, but I'm 6 months pregnant and it was pouring with rain. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She asked if the ring was a temporary thing until I got a better one, saw my dumbfounded face, then played it off as a joke and said yes. I later found out she'd posted on Facebook bitching about the ring, but with the privacy setting set to hide it from me. FML
Today, I realized my girlfriend has been "on her period" for almost two months. FML
Today, while ice-skating with my girlfriend, I tried to do what they do in the movies and make her gently fall into my arms. Instead she slipped, fell, and hit her head on the ice. FML
Today, I actually thought of faking my own death to get away from my girlfriend and her insane, overbearing family. FML
Today, after moving miles to be with my boyfriend, I logged onto his computer just in time to see his other girlfriend had sent naked pictures. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to a scary movie, hoping I could comfort her at a scary part. Instead when a scary part came on, she reacted by throwing up all over my lap and the person in front of us. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "our priorities aren't the same." Her priorities turned out to be getting into my coworker's pants. FML
Today, my girlfriend tried explaining a duck flying into our living room and taking a shit everywhere as "paranormal activity". FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML
Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house at 9am to surprise him on our 1 year anniversary. In the process, I gatecrashed another celebration he was having with his second girlfriend. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents, despite my long-standing protests. Over the next hour, they asked her if she'd ever considered becoming a swinger, why not, if she'd ever consider it in future, and to keep them in mind if she does. FML