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FML with : girlfriend

Number of results : 2218

Today, I went to celebrate Thanksgiving with my family. I watched as my uncle and his girlfriend snuck off to the bathroom together, where they stayed until someone else tried to get in. When they came out, she was wiping her mouth. I need new eyes. FML

#21306928
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16055) - you deserved it (1292)

On 11/27/2014 at 3:38pm - intimacy - by Trainer Calypso - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I met my best friend's girlfriend for the first time. After a few hours of talking and eating, she followed me to the bathroom and said, dead serious, ''If you ever touch him or get too close to him, I will cut you''. I've known him for twelve years, they have been dating for a month. FML

#21305050
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33180) - you deserved it (2462)

On 11/24/2014 at 8:44am - love - by ohwell (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because of the scratch marks on my back. I didn't have the nerve to tell her I tried to shower with the cat. FML

#21300928
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18489) - you deserved it (29645)

On 11/17/2014 at 7:56pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I heard my mother say, "I feel bad for any girl that marries him because he's, what's the word? Metrosexual!" To my girlfriend. About me. FML

#21300656
67 comments

Today, my girlfriend of over a year broke up with me via Facebook chat. When I asked her why, she replied "You know why." and blocked me. No, I don't know. FML

#21299125
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31125) - you deserved it (2531)

On 11/14/2014 at 7:11pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out one of my girlfriend's recent Google searches was, "should I admit to cheating or just dump him?" FML

#21299071
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31571) - you deserved it (2017)

On 11/14/2014 at 5:36pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my girlfriend was cheating on me. Her excuse? I was the one that had initially introduced them. FML

#21298582
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31370) - you deserved it (2637)

On 11/13/2014 at 7:59pm - intimacy - by johnnycomehelpme - United States (Illinois)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 5 years. She bitched me out for not getting the ring she had been "hinting" me to get, and angrily left. FML

#21298350
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35517) - you deserved it (4155)

On 11/13/2014 at 1:50pm - love - by Anonymous - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, someone commented on my mother's memorial page on my blog. It said "u need too get over it bitch" and "ur mum was a wh0re". I looked up the IP address and found the comment was posted from my own wifi. The only other person who lives in my house is my girlfriend. FML

#21297662
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42117) - you deserved it (3163)

On 11/12/2014 at 12:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Redcar and Cleveland)

Today, I thought I felt my cellphone vibrating. Turned out it was just my girlfriend letting out a vicious fart against my leg. FML

#21296102
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34624) - you deserved it (4901)

On 11/10/2014 at 9:28am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me via Twitter. FML

#21295236
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32921) - you deserved it (3211)

On 11/09/2014 at 3:37am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I learned that when you're talking about your girlfriend's 6'4", 250 lb dad in a negative way, you should really make sure he isn't around first. FML

#21295068
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17859) - you deserved it (34595)

On 11/08/2014 at 10:38pm - misc - by jlong9071 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my phone died while I was on the phone with my girlfriend. When I finally got a charger, I saw a text message from her. I'm now single. FML

#21292826
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30146) - you deserved it (2569)

On 11/05/2014 at 5:21pm - love - by thedudeman14 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36420) - you deserved it (9993)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML

#21289746
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34663) - you deserved it (4711)

On 11/01/2014 at 2:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)



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