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FML with : girlfriend

Number of results : 2368

Today, my girlfriend came back from her mission trip with hickies all over her boobs. She said it wasn't cheating because she was doing God's work and that they canceled each other out. FML

#21432849
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24853) - you deserved it (1892)

On 06/27/2015 at 2:29pm - love - by isaidfuckoff (woman) - United States

Today, I was informed, after being broken up with, that my girlfriend's father only set her up with me so that she would have more motivation to shower on a regular basis. He actually yelled at me for being broken up with. FML

#21431508
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21912) - you deserved it (1604)

On 06/24/2015 at 11:54pm - love - by Anonymouss (man) - United States

Today, at my sister's wedding, she and I had a plan that she would purposely throw the bouquet to my girlfriend, then I would propose in front of everyone. When the bouquet landed in my girlfriend's lap, she screamed, "Ew, no way" and threw it to someone else. FML

#21430908
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28595) - you deserved it (3090)

On 06/23/2015 at 10:48pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's parents' house for lunch. I ended up in the bathroom constipated and remembered reading it's easier to "go" if you are squatting. My girlfriend's dad walked in on me perched on the toilet like an owl. FML

#21430214
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23515) - you deserved it (4445)

On 06/22/2015 at 4:58pm - health - by oh no (man) - United States (California)

Today, I took a nap. My boyfriend took this opportunity to go over to his "beautiful" and "amazing" ex-girlfriend's house to help her clean out her pool. I told him I didn't think that was appropriate. He told me I don't value relationships and didn't come home tonight. FML

#21429410
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22883) - you deserved it (2059)

On 06/21/2015 at 6:16am - love - by bev_rogan - United States (Indiana)

Today, after weeks of my crazy girlfriend avoiding me because she knew I wanted to break up with her, I had no option but to do it by text. She told all my friends, who now think I'm a coward who isn't man enough to break up in person. They didn't even ask for my side of the story. FML

#21428807
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24583) - you deserved it (4391)

On 06/19/2015 at 10:36pm - love - by Ngbaheir (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was using the toilet. I was still insanely pissed off over an argument with my girlfriend, which kind of explains why I was wiping my ass so furiously that my fingers broke through the tissue and ended up in my ass, causing me to shriek like a little girl. FML

#21428778
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20075) - you deserved it (12236)

On 06/19/2015 at 9:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML

#21428553
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27669) - you deserved it (11272)

On 06/19/2015 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by shmarf (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my pregnant girlfriend and I moved into our first home together, signing a 1-year lease. Less than 12 hours later, we've discovered that the place is infested with cockroaches and we have a mouse. The landlord won't let us out of the contract. FML

#21427489
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27126) - you deserved it (4603)

On 06/17/2015 at 8:14am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML

#21427104
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25688) - you deserved it (5932)

On 06/16/2015 at 4:01pm - intimacy - by bootyislife (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I opened my front door to be greeted by what I can only describe as the stink of death. After moving furniture and lifting floorboards, frantically searching for whatever had died, I finally discovered the actual source of the stench - my girlfriend's feet. FML

#21426359
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27377) - you deserved it (2332)

On 06/15/2015 at 7:57am - misc - by Gagging (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, my apparently insane and now ex-girlfriend actually claimed she didn't technically cheat on me, because she set her Facebook relationship to "single" before screwing my brother. FML

#21423879
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29481) - you deserved it (1791)

On 06/10/2015 at 11:28am - intimacy - by waiting till marriage, she said (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I took new sleeping meds. One of the side effects was sleepwalking. I had a dream my girlfriend wanted me to pee on her. Apparently, while sleepwalking, I pissed all over our dog. FML

#21423425
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23182) - you deserved it (2640)

On 06/09/2015 at 4:03pm - health - by feels like an asshole - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend home to introduce her to my parents. As we arrived, my grandpa was leaving the bathroom. He looked over at my girlfriend with a worried expression and said "Never take a shit in this place! Feels like I wiped my arsehole with sandpaper." FML

#21421640
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26038) - you deserved it (2353)

On 06/06/2015 at 3:32am - work - by justin bieber's nutsack (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I gave my girlfriend a hickey barely an inch from her vagina. She texted me later, saying her dad saw it and had grounded her. So yeah, I'm not sure I even want to know what the hell goes on in their house. FML

#21420087
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35584) - you deserved it (2540)

On 06/03/2015 at 3:22am - intimacy - by W T F (man) - United States (Alabama)



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