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FML with : cat

Number of results : 1401

Today, I was doing laundry, so I decided to wash my cat's blanket. He chased me down the stairs into the basement, and I slightly closed the door behind me so he wouldn't follow me. He pushed the door shut, which automatically locks. I was trapped down there for 3 hours until my mom came home. FML

#21364131
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24386) - you deserved it (4860)

On 02/26/2015 at 7:08pm - animals - by jynxisadouchebag - United States (California)

Today, after 3 years of studying to be a veterinarian, I found out I may not be able to continue. It's not because I'm failing my classes, but because my body has developed an allergy to cats. FML

#21363251
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30786) - you deserved it (2372)

On 02/25/2015 at 10:44am - animals - by cat-astrophic (man) - United Kingdom

Today, while trying to sleep, I heard what sounded like someone breaking into my house. I ran downstairs, only to find my cat had ripped down my blinds and was tangled up in them, thrashing around the floor like a fish. FML

#21363021
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26596) - you deserved it (2810)

On 02/24/2015 at 11:33pm - animals - by Sarah1330 (woman) - United States

Today, it was the day my catheter was to be removed. The nurse removing it deflated the balloon, and then tried pulling it out. After me screaming in extreme pain, she found out she hadn't actually deflated the balloon all the way. She was trying to pull a small balloon through my dick hole. FML

#21362632
112 comments

Today, I witnessed the beautiful sight of a tiny baby bird struggling to take flight from its nest. "You can do it," I muttered, which I guess my asswipe of a cat heard as "Quick, go kill that bird and scar me for life, please." FML

#21360123
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27825) - you deserved it (3740)

On 02/20/2015 at 11:25pm - animals - by tulisa (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend berated me for my "lack of communication skills", all while deeply engrossed with something on her phone. FML

#21356030
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26456) - you deserved it (2360)

On 02/14/2015 at 3:04pm - love - by hopeless - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I had my performance review at work. Under the "oral communication" category my boss wrote that I "act like an asshole." FML

#21354453
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25194) - you deserved it (5140)

On 02/11/2015 at 10:59pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my boss refused to give me vacation time for my wedding and honeymoon because she didn't have a honeymoon and because of that apparently neither should I. FML

Today, I responded to an emergency call for an intoxicated 83-year-old man with chest pains. As I leaned forward to check his lung sounds, he groped my chest and said, "Nice rack". I just wanted to see if he had difficulty breathing. I don't even get paid for this, I'm a volunteer for the town. FML

#21353037
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30729) - you deserved it (2385)

On 02/09/2015 at 10:15pm - work - by EMTGirl'sLife - United States (New Jersey)

Today, it's been about a week since my boyfriend started his new medication, which has essentially killed any sex drive he had. It has also been about two weeks since I stopped mine, making me hornier than ever. FML

#21352626
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33626) - you deserved it (3481)

On 02/09/2015 at 8:32am - intimacy - by myself - United States

Today, I had my first threesome. It was me, my wonderful girlfriend, and her shithead cat after he decided my balls were a bag of catnip and just had to play with. Things ended pretty fast. FML

#21351917
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30806) - you deserved it (3059)

On 02/08/2015 at 3:35am - animals - by OnlyAvailableID - Australia

Today, my mom called me an attention seeker and threw a bitch fit because my cat "decided" to die on her birthday. FML

#21351283
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31327) - you deserved it (2077)

On 02/07/2015 at 12:13am - animals - by juliette (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boss brought his cat to the office. Despite our no pet policy, I still managed to get the blame when the crazy animal scratched 3 colleagues and peed on the floor after my boss left for bathroom. Apparently I was supposed to be "looking after it". FML

#21350702
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27649) - you deserved it (1901)

On 02/06/2015 at 12:16am - animals - by anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boss informed me I couldn't go on my "vacation" because he's leaving for one of his employees' weddings. That just so happens to be my wedding, for which I'm taking the vacation. FML

Today, my boss told me they were letting me go because they "could no longer afford to pay me." Never mind the catered lunch they had the day before, which cost more than a week's worth of my salary. FML

#21348253
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30878) - you deserved it (2074)

On 02/02/2015 at 9:25am - work - by Not Worth a Lunch - United States (North Carolina)



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