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FML with : cat

Number of results : 1354

Today, my friendly neighbor asked me to check in on his apartment every few days while he's gone on vacation. You can imagine my horror when I walked in for the first time and found out he's a snake breeder. Twelve more days to go. FML

#21302388
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17147) - you deserved it (1784)

On 11/19/2014 at 9:43pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a cop car was tailing me. I was scared, and trying to avoid any tickets, I drove straight through a huge pothole rather than swerving to avoid it. The cop pulled me over and insisted I was intoxicated, because "anybody in their right mind would've dodged that pothole." FML

#21302094
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22200) - you deserved it (4468)

On 11/19/2014 at 1:44pm - misc - by limpdick9 - United States (California)

Today, while lying in bed cuddling with my cat after getting stood up, I found out that even 80-year-old Charles Manson is engaged to be married. FML

#21301256
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25986) - you deserved it (2660)

On 11/18/2014 at 5:41am - love - by jessiejaybee (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because of the scratch marks on my back. I didn't have the nerve to tell her I tried to shower with the cat. FML

#21300928
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15927) - you deserved it (25980)

On 11/17/2014 at 7:56pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, at work, a crazy customer forced me to promise to take a holiday greeting picture of my cat and myself for her. She says she'll be back and expects one. FML

#21300741
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24916) - you deserved it (2768)

On 11/17/2014 at 1:48pm - animals - by not crazy enough (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after visiting friends for the weekend, I took the wrong train home. It was going in completely the opposite direction. I've now missed the last train back, will miss work tomorrow and have just been asked to vacate the train station. I'm 120 miles from home. FML

Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML

#21300031
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24470) - you deserved it (2722)

On 11/16/2014 at 4:44am - love - by tine - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my wife and I had an argument serious enough to end our marriage, while overseas on vacation, with my whole family present. Three more days of awkward tension until we get to fly home and it all ends. FML

#21298977
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29816) - you deserved it (3121)

On 11/14/2014 at 2:09pm - love - by overseasbummer - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I got home and found my wife cuddling with the dog and our new kitten. Both the cat and my wife hissed at me when I tried to join in. FML

#21298618
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30196) - you deserved it (3404)

On 11/13/2014 at 9:14pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, as my kitten was sleeping on my lap, my boyfriend crept up on us and yelled, "BOO!" to make me jump. I wasn't scared, but the cat was. He tensed up and jumped to the floor. He also apparently had the runny shits, spraying me and the couch on his way down. FML

#21298148
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33355) - you deserved it (2797) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/12/2014 at 5:50pm - animals - by nenette - France

Today, my cat tunneled her way under the covers to sleep beside me. It was really cute until she panicked in the middle of the night and practically skinned me alive trying to find her way out. FML

Today, the last of my close friends announced she is pregnant. Meanwhile, I'm single and my nest is empty. Well, not exactly, because even my freaking cat is pregnant. FML

#21295090
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32271) - you deserved it (4185)

On 11/08/2014 at 11:06pm - kids - by NoBabies - United States (Arizona)

Today, my mentally-unhinged mother reached a new level of psycho - she threw a tantrum and raged at my father, accusing him of cheating on her with our cat. FML

#21293397
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34367) - you deserved it (2306)

On 11/06/2014 at 1:30pm - misc - by CatLover (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I burned my hand while making breakfast. As I staggered around the kitchen in agony, looking for some burn cream, my cat figured he'd latch onto said hand and drag his claws through the burn. FML

Today, I decided to give my boyfriend a surprise striptease. After I turned around, I heard him murmur "Oh, wow." I turned back around, only to find him watching a gif of a cat falling into snow in slow motion. FML

#21291260
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33342) - you deserved it (3643)

On 11/03/2014 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Dezzy - United States (Missouri)



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