Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FML with : cat

Number of results : 1359

Today, I discovered that catching fewer mice in the traps I'd put out doesn't mean my pest problem is getting resolved. It means that rats have moved in. FML

#21305734
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20440) - you deserved it (1805)

On 11/25/2014 at 10:28am - animals - by ratqueen - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I spent a hour in my car terrified to go inside because I thought my house was being burgled. I saw rapid shadows in the light of my lounge. Eventually I plucked up the courage to creep inside with a rock to find it wasn't a robber. It was my cats, fighting in front of a toppled lamp. FML

#21305532
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21172) - you deserved it (4589)

On 11/24/2014 at 11:21pm - animals - by amazinghermit (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I had to babysit both my neighbor's 3-year-old daughter and my very pregnant cat. I left the room briefly, only to come back to a traumatized 3-year-old crying in horror as my cat gave birth in front of her. FML

#21303819
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29440) - you deserved it (3518)

On 11/22/2014 at 10:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, I was studying for my Spanish midterm nonstop. After I closed my book, I was so tired that I thought that my cat was asking me questions in Spanish. FML

#21303629
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26358) - you deserved it (3079)

On 11/21/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Studying is for crazy people. - United States (California)

Today, I knocked an old-school slide carousel off my desk, scattering nearly 100 individual slides everywhere, including the specific slides my professor asked me to digitally scan, which were placed carefully on top. None of them are numbered. FML

#21302910
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23987) - you deserved it (4876)

On 11/20/2014 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my friendly neighbor asked me to check in on his apartment every few days while he's gone on vacation. You can imagine my horror when I walked in for the first time and found out he's a snake breeder. Twelve more days to go. FML

#21302388
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28155) - you deserved it (2949)

On 11/19/2014 at 9:43pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a cop car was tailing me. I was scared, and trying to avoid any tickets, I drove straight through a huge pothole rather than swerving to avoid it. The cop pulled me over and insisted I was intoxicated, because "anybody in their right mind would've dodged that pothole." FML

#21302094
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29934) - you deserved it (5962)

On 11/19/2014 at 1:44pm - misc - by limpdick9 - United States (California)

Today, while lying in bed cuddling with my cat after getting stood up, I found out that even 80-year-old Charles Manson is engaged to be married. FML

#21301256
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29445) - you deserved it (3024)

On 11/18/2014 at 5:41am - love - by jessiejaybee (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because of the scratch marks on my back. I didn't have the nerve to tell her I tried to shower with the cat. FML

#21300928
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18350) - you deserved it (29462)

On 11/17/2014 at 7:56pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, at work, a crazy customer forced me to promise to take a holiday greeting picture of my cat and myself for her. She says she'll be back and expects one. FML

#21300741
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27082) - you deserved it (2966)

On 11/17/2014 at 1:48pm - animals - by not crazy enough (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after visiting friends for the weekend, I took the wrong train home. It was going in completely the opposite direction. I've now missed the last train back, will miss work tomorrow and have just been asked to vacate the train station. I'm 120 miles from home. FML

Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML

#21300031
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26640) - you deserved it (2936)

On 11/16/2014 at 4:44am - love - by tine - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my wife and I had an argument serious enough to end our marriage, while overseas on vacation, with my whole family present. Three more days of awkward tension until we get to fly home and it all ends. FML

#21298977
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30908) - you deserved it (3164)

On 11/14/2014 at 2:09pm - love - by overseasbummer - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I got home and found my wife cuddling with the dog and our new kitten. Both the cat and my wife hissed at me when I tried to join in. FML

#21298618
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31164) - you deserved it (3449)

On 11/13/2014 at 9:14pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, as my kitten was sleeping on my lap, my boyfriend crept up on us and yelled, "BOO!" to make me jump. I wasn't scared, but the cat was. He tensed up and jumped to the floor. He also apparently had the runny shits, spraying me and the couch on his way down. FML

#21298148
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34607) - you deserved it (2819) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/12/2014 at 5:50pm - animals - by nenette - France



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: