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FML with : cat

Number of results : 1466

Today, I found out that I won't be able to attend my own wedding, because I'll be in a mandatory training class that doesn't allow people to take vacation for any reason. So now we've wasted $10,000, and I can't even fly home for one day. All because I got promoted unexpectedly. FML

#21461761
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11476) - you deserved it (871)

On 08/28/2015 at 4:05pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Italy (Friuli-Venezia Giulia)

Today, after an 8-month wait, I had my big vacation. The beach, the sea, the dive, the jellyfish, the allergic reaction, the hospital. FML

#21461571
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18476) - you deserved it (1109) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/27/2015 at 12:42pm - misc - by Mush - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, due to medication I am taking that causes constipation, I have become all too accustomed to using a disposable rubber glove to dig crap out of my own butthole. FML

#21461256
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20915) - you deserved it (1797)

On 08/27/2015 at 6:56am - health - by jack - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, after coming home from the hospital after I fractured my foot, I fell in the bathroom and dislocated my wrist. The ER doctor couldn't stop laughing. FML

#21460636
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21239) - you deserved it (1715)

On 08/25/2015 at 6:46pm - health - by whovian221b (woman) - United States

Today, I awoke at two in the morning to my cat putting his most recent kill on my chest. When I jumped up screaming, the dead mouse went flying and now my husband and I can't find it. Better yet now both my husband and my cat are giving me the silent treatment. FML

#21460304
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19773) - you deserved it (2011)

On 08/24/2015 at 11:16pm - animals - by catlady - United States (New York)

Today, my coworker called me a liar when I said I've been to New York. This is the same psycho who honestly expects me to believe that she and Brad Pitt have a "thing" and that he secretly communicates with her through interviews on TV. FML

#21459151
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23522) - you deserved it (1546)

On 08/22/2015 at 1:49am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was putting the cat outside. He wouldn't go, so I kicked him. Then I woke up to my husband screaming. I’d been dreaming, and the "cat" I kicked was his family jewels. FML

#21458762
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21697) - you deserved it (7925)

On 08/21/2015 at 4:33am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, one of my ears randomly went deaf. I went to the doctor, thinking I had an ear infection or something. Turns out that your ears can go deaf entirely without reason, and I now have medication to take to see if I can get any of my hearing back in that ear. I'm only 26. FML

#21458738
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26577) - you deserved it (1387)

On 08/21/2015 at 2:22am - health - by ANON - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date with someone I considered a real catch, my potential soulmate even. He ended up telling me about his fetish for "female smells", sang loudly in Italian in a crowded restaurant, and ate most of the food on my plate. Man, fuck dating. FML

#21458335
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21468) - you deserved it (2167)

On 08/20/2015 at 2:02am - love - by Catsfordays - United States (California)

Today, my car is being repaired, so I had to catch a bus to work. When the bus came, the driver pulled toward the curb and gunned it through a large puddle of water, then pulled away and continued down the road, leaving me soaking wet. FML

#21457982
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21282) - you deserved it (1313)

On 08/19/2015 at 9:54am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, my stepbrother's attempt at making a snack resulted in the microwave catching on fire and the everlasting smell of burnt pizza rolls. FML

#21456120
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20263) - you deserved it (1571)

On 08/14/2015 at 7:38pm - kids - by Tyrez (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my friends told me that I'm not invited to the next trip because I'm a party pooper for not getting drunk and staying out late during our last vacation. I guess they forgot that I spent each night taking care of their drunk asses and stayed sober to be the designated driver. FML

#21454553
79 comments

Today, I went to a gig. The drummer threw his drumsticks out at the end and I managed to catch one. With my face. Not only did I get a black eye, but the person next to me snatched the drumstick from my hands. FML

#21454163
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22945) - you deserved it (1556)

On 08/10/2015 at 4:32am - misc - by mildlyconcussed - Italy (Campania)

Today, my boyfriend tried to claim it was my fault that he cheated on me, all because I "deprived" him of sex for two weeks last month when I went on a family vacation. If his mental gymnastics were physical, I swear he'd be able to suck his own cock. FML

#21452247
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25310) - you deserved it (2240)

On 08/05/2015 at 1:35pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a high school reunion. An old friend I hadn't seen in a while suddenly came up to me and gasped, "Oh, thank God!" I was about to greet her and catch up when she added, "I'm not the only one who gained weight!" FML

#21451692
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23951) - you deserved it (2517)

On 08/04/2015 at 7:59am - misc - by elizio (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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