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FMLs submitted from Zurich

Today, my boyfriend told me I sound like a squeaky toy during sex, and asked if I could get it under control because it creeps him out. FML

#21510905
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20269) - you deserved it (3720)

On 01/03/2016 at 4:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, after three years with my boyfriend hardly ever going to any social or public event with me due to his social anxiety, I got to witness him improve his flirting skills on every girl available at his house party. FML

#20549117
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35983) - you deserved it (4078)

On 03/18/2013 at 10:17am - love - by social anxiety my a** (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I had to present a program to my supervisors in University. Not being a native English speaker, I used my own invented abbreviations for parameters in the program. Apparently STD is not an appropriate abbreviation for "standard deviation." I can still hear them laughing. FML

#20156190
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23183) - you deserved it (7765)

On 11/09/2012 at 11:23am - work - by EnglishLearner (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend, when things got a little frisky and we started making out. It was my first time French-kissing, and apparently he has a very sensitive gag reflex, because the moment my tongue went in, he started retching, and vomited moments later. FML

#20134512
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27201) - you deserved it (3603)

On 10/26/2012 at 5:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, my boyfriend ended our relationship. He called me from his mobile phone, claimed to be a trauma surgeon, and told me with a bad German accent that my "boyfriend" had been in a fatal car crash earlier in the day. What the hell is wrong with this idiot? FML

#19667641
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33772) - you deserved it (4196)

On 05/23/2012 at 1:20pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML

#18605439
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18797) - you deserved it (53630)

On 12/25/2011 at 6:39am - animals - by Anonymoose (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, one week after my girlfriend berated me for not being invested enough in our relationship, I proposed to her. Her answer? "I meant give me an orgasm, not a ring!" FML

#14699033
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36568) - you deserved it (10046)

On 01/24/2011 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Limalia (man) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, as I left my house, the front door slammed shut behind me, causing an entire roof-length of snow to slide over the edge and land directly on my head. FML

#14385124
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23498) - you deserved it (5571)

On 12/29/2010 at 6:32pm - misc - by snowball (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML

#13184282
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27544) - you deserved it (14243)

On 09/24/2010 at 4:21pm - health - by yogapants (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, as a supervisor at a water park, several clients came up to me and complained about a topless girl in our wave pool. I found the girl, called her out, and politely told her that she was not allowed in the pool without a top. "She" was a fat 15 year old boy. FML

#4478498
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56407) - you deserved it (7568)

On 08/12/2009 at 4:13pm - misc - by auslander (man) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, at a party I told this guy that I really liked his pirate costume. Turns out he wasn't wearing a costume, his eye was shot out with a BB gun. This explains the eye patch. FML

#95150
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15136) - you deserved it (33085)

On 02/21/2009 at 9:33am - misc - by story of my life. - Switzerland (Zurich)



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