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FMLs submitted from York

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about our new year's resolutions. I started telling him that I wanted to lose some weight. He interrupted me, saying, "Yeah yeah, we all know you're fat, whatever." He then went on a 30 minute speech about how he'd really like to take more pictures of his cat in 2011. FML

#14463244
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26028) - you deserved it (5621)

On 01/04/2011 at 2:34pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I met my father for the first time since I was a baby. The first comment out of his mouth was, "I bet all the boys love those motherfucking bazongas, don't they?" Hi, Dad. FML

#14396481
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42144) - you deserved it (3249)

On 12/30/2010 at 2:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I was sitting at a traffic light when a cute girl appeared at the side of the road. I sat and watched her until she had crossed, when I realised that I had missed the light. A large queue of cars had built up behind me, yet none of them used their horn because I was driving my police car. FML

#13788956
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7500) - you deserved it (47046)

On 11/10/2010 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (York)

Today, after a particularly gruesome nightmare about spiders due to my irrational phobia, I decided to try and desensitise myself by googling 'house spiders'. I can't stop the feeling of something crawling over every inch of my body, but at least I now know they can live up to six years. FML

#8700237
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17648) - you deserved it (6371)

On 02/27/2010 at 9:03pm - health - by joolsie (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I heard that there's a rumour going around that I was caught masturbating while crying at a party after the girl I liked got with someone else. FML

#7946481
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22428) - you deserved it (2972)

On 02/06/2010 at 7:28pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I went to a local take-away and ordered a pizza. I watched the worker get my pizza out the oven, then wipe the pizza cutter on the trash bin to get rid of the last pizza's toppings, and then cut my pizza. FML

#6904447
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27712) - you deserved it (2710)

On 12/23/2009 at 3:24pm - misc - by extraflavour - United Kingdom (York)

Today, my dog received a christmas card before I did. FML

#6678775
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26729) - you deserved it (2932)

On 12/09/2009 at 10:33am - animals - by amywee (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, my mum grounded me for going to my boyfriend's house instead of the library. She said my boyfriend's mum phoned up because she could hear us having it off in his room. When I denied it my mum shouted at me for being a liar as well as a slut. I did go to the library. FML

#5103491
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76356) - you deserved it (3673)

On 09/07/2009 at 11:39am - love - by SingleGirl (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, my girlfriend jumped, naked, onto my computer desk, with the intention of having sex on it. A new, £250 computer desk, broken beyond repair. And we didn't even have sex. FML

#4662087
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51952) - you deserved it (6999)

On 08/19/2009 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by kneesarethenewdesk (man) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I'm 19, I'm at uni, I've never been kissed and the only person I have had a proper conversation with in the past week is my Mum. FML

#4477
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24652) - you deserved it (4705)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:07am - misc - by geewhiz - United Kingdom (York)



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