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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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FMLs submitted from York

Today, I finally made the last payment on the beautiful engagement ring I bought and proposed with - two years ago. To my ex-girlfriend, who said no and promptly started sleeping with one of my friends. FML

#18940800 (200)

I agree, your life sucks (9512) - you deserved it (749)

On 01/29/2012 at 4:55am - love - by brokeandsingle - United Kingdom (York)

Today, my wife made a joke about the size of my package, so figuring all's fair in love and war, I bought some laxatives to prank her with. They took a lot longer to work than I thought, and I ended up lying in bed, listening to my wife shitting her guts out in the bathroom for over an hour. FML

#18929275 (226)

I agree, your life sucks (1680) - you deserved it (14224)

On 01/27/2012 at 10:13pm - health - by smith (man) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I have my first university lecture on lab safety. Having gone out the night before with my house-mates, I have the worst hangover of my life, and have to listen for an hour and a half while they loudly demonstrate the types of alarms we'll hear in different kinds of emergencies. FML

#18138100 (99)

I agree, your life sucks (3344) - you deserved it (12445)

On 11/02/2011 at 12:39pm - misc - by ...loud noises...urgh... (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, my parents staged a family intervention and gave me the grandest bollocking I've ever experienced in all my 22 years of life. They did this because my sister showed them a photo of me jokingly posing with three bottles of Bud Light at a party. Apparently, I'm an alcoholic in denial. FML

#18065493 (203)

I agree, your life sucks (7276) - you deserved it (1160)

On 10/24/2011 at 6:46pm - misc - by wtf (man) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, it was my friend's 18th birthday. She had invited us out drinking. I've never had alcohol before and was very excited. I got a call explaining that she had invited one too many and asked me not to come. People bragging on facebook about what a great time they were having didn't help either. FML

#15411095 (249)

I agree, your life sucks (28961) - you deserved it (4134)

On 03/21/2011 at 2:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about our new year's resolutions. I started telling him that I wanted to lose some weight. He interrupted me, saying, "Yeah yeah, we all know you're fat, whatever." He then went on a 30 minute speech about how he'd really like to take more pictures of his cat in 2011. FML

#14463244 (125)

I agree, your life sucks (18914) - you deserved it (4103)

On 01/04/2011 at 2:34pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I met my father for the first time since I was a baby. The first comment out of his mouth was, "I bet all the boys love those motherf*cking bazongas, don't they?" Hi, Dad. FML

#14396481 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (33181) - you deserved it (2283)

On 12/30/2010 at 2:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I was sitting at a traffic light when a cute girl appeared at the side of the road. I sat and watched her until she had crossed, when I realised that I had missed the light. A large queue of cars had built up behind me, yet none of them used their horn because I was driving my police car. FML

#13788956 (215)

I agree, your life sucks (4994) - you deserved it (31965)

On 11/10/2010 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (York)

Today, after a particularly gruesome nightmare about spiders due to my irrational phobia, I decided to try and desensitise myself by googling 'house spiders'. I can't stop the feeling of something crawling over every inch of my body, but at least I now know they can live up to six years. FML

#8700237 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (11764) - you deserved it (4440)

On 02/27/2010 at 9:03pm - health - by joolsie (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I heard that there's a rumour going around that I was caught masturbating while crying at a party after the girl I liked got with someone else. FML

#7946481 (66)

I agree, your life sucks (14893) - you deserved it (1973)

On 02/06/2010 at 7:28pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I went to a local take-away and ordered a pizza. I watched the worker get my pizza out the oven, then wipe the pizza cutter on the trash bin to get rid of the last pizza's toppings, and then cut my pizza. FML

#6904447 (109)

I agree, your life sucks (20567) - you deserved it (1827)

On 12/23/2009 at 3:24pm - misc - by extraflavour - United Kingdom (York)

Today, my dog received a christmas card before I did. FML

#6678775 (44)

I agree, your life sucks (20120) - you deserved it (2006)

On 12/09/2009 at 10:33am - animals - by amywee (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, my mum grounded me for going to my boyfriend's house instead of the library. She said my boyfriend's mum phoned up because she could hear us having it off in his room. When I denied it my mum shouted at me for being a liar as well as a slut. I did go to the library. FML

#5103491 (253)

I agree, your life sucks (61963) - you deserved it (2457)

On 09/07/2009 at 11:39am - love - by SingleGirl (woman) - United Kingdom (York)