Today, I was out jogging, when I saw a girl fall off her bike and start crying. I ran over to see if she was hurt. Apparently her neighbour thought I was trying to kidnap her, because he ran out with a baseball bat and threatened to beat me to death if I didn't get lost. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39978) - you deserved it (2123)
On 05/07/2013 at 4:21pm - kids - by bet a woman would've been thanked (man) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)
Today, I was walking through my town when a man on a bicycle rolled up to me and said, "I don't mean this offensively but you're really well-built." I don't know whether he was commenting on my height or comparing me to a shed, but my mother won't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19137) - you deserved it (1890)
On 03/05/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by apparently-a-shed (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)
Today, whilst at a red light in my car, a homeless man with a spray bottle and a dirty rag came over to clean my windows. He started with the driver's window, which was wide open, and whatever was in his spray bottle smelled suspiciously like urine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19023) - you deserved it (1269)
On 11/21/2012 at 4:54am - misc - by WamBamSam - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)
Today, my girlfriend decided that having OCD will help her lose weight. She is now convinced that walking in and out of doorways multiple times will burn fat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13390) - you deserved it (1250)
On 08/21/2012 at 2:31am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)
Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (29039) - you deserved it (3192)
On 07/14/2012 at 8:50pm - intimacy - by checkup (man) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)
Today, I had to ring up our local competitors to get prices for paint. I pretended I'd just bought a house and was doing it up, and I actually got excited about doing up a make-believe house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12054) - you deserved it (3008)
On 05/02/2012 at 7:18am - work - by tillyg15 - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)
Today, I came home to find my house destroyed. I was so devastated, I cried. I had spent days hand-crafting the house to perfection, down to the finest detail. On Minecraft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10375) - you deserved it (29920)
On 08/13/2011 at 4:22pm - misc - by ifailsobadly (man) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)
Today, I went into work for the first time without make-up. My boss thought I looked so tired and ill that he sent me home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29743) - you deserved it (5576)
On 06/12/2011 at 7:46am - work - by FreshFaced (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)
Today, I was brushing my teeth when I felt a lump of something in the corner of my mouth. Naturally assuming it would be a bit of food that my toothbrush had dislodged, I spat it out into the sink. It was a woodlouse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21989) - you deserved it (2060)
On 02/24/2010 at 7:58am - misc - by puzzled (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)
Today, I posted a picture of my boyfriend and I kissing on facebook. He untagged himself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26525) - you deserved it (13792)
On 11/30/2009 at 7:17am - love - by destiny147 (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)
Today, I went over to my boyfriends house with a few people. I drank too much wine and later when everyone else left I gave him head, deepthroating a little too enthusiastically, and puked all over his cock and bedsheets. Turns out, washing vomit out of your pubes kills the mood somewhat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8745) - you deserved it (41736)
On 06/14/2009 at 9:08am - intimacy - by ohdeardarling (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)
Today, I repaired a boiler for a wealthy guy in a big house. While there, I fixed a leaking tap for free. When I went to go, the man slipped something into my shirt pocket and said "have a drink on me." When I got to my truck, I discovered that he'd given me a tea bag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64666) - you deserved it (4218)
On 03/25/2009 at 12:33pm - misc - by toast - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)
Today, my mum decided that me being bisexual meant that I was "deciding whether or not to be a lesbian" because supposedly, no man will have me. Thanks mum. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23611) - you deserved it (4492)
On 02/08/2009 at 7:01pm - misc - by lil_munchkinjen (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)
Monday 20 May 2013
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