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FMLs submitted from Wisconsin

Today, my aunt and I went shopping. When we got to the store, she said she forgot her wallet, and I told her I would buy some things for her. When we were at the checkout, I was a dollar short. She said, "Oh, I'll get it!" and pulled out her wallet. FML

#16648557
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44058) - you deserved it (4352)

On 06/13/2011 at 6:29pm - money - by sarahwittman - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I dreamed that I was making out with a cute girl. Just as I was about to take it to the next level, she suddenly burst into tears and said, "I'm sorry, I can't do this." I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML

#16609106
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54384) - you deserved it (6844)

On 06/11/2011 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Ryan - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I returned home after a three-week trip to Jamaica. When I opened the door to my room, I was greeted by a swarm of bees and their enormous nest, which was attached to my doorknob. Apparently, I'd forgotten to close the window properly before I left. FML

#15970719
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24020) - you deserved it (16762)

On 04/28/2011 at 10:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I co-starred in a production of Hamlet. Halfway through play, the actor playing Hamlet forgot his lines, threw a raging temper tantrum, screaming about how much he hated the play and how he wanted to go home in front of hundreds of audience members. FML

#15497521
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32076) - you deserved it (3219)

On 03/26/2011 at 11:41am - misc - by Sue (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while waiting in line for the ski lift, the lady behind me kept stepping on my skis. Annoyed, I turned around and shouted at her "Get the f*ck off my skis!" Just as the last word escaped my mouth, I noticed that my skis were crossed and it was actually me stepping on them. FML

#15127985
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6408) - you deserved it (56421)

On 02/26/2011 at 4:36pm - misc - by bitchyskier - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I woke 2 hours before my alarm was supposed to go off, feeling incredibly sick. I then ran downstairs and had diarrhea while I threw up. I spent Valentine's Day having diarrhea every time I coughed or sneezed. FML

#14983932
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26549) - you deserved it (2531)

On 02/15/2011 at 12:09am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, the snowblower found my lost phone. FML

#14952947
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24085) - you deserved it (4436)

On 02/12/2011 at 9:21pm - misc - by cs - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s teacher asking me to come pick her up. My daughter wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. I left an important work meeting. When I got there she stated her boyfriend broke up with her and she couldn't emotionally make it through the rest of the day. She's 5. FML

Today, I told my mom I broke up with my boyfriend because he wanted to have sex and I wasn't ready. Her reply? "Well, you can't stay a virgin forever." FML

#14811795
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36394) - you deserved it (15639)

On 02/02/2011 at 1:16pm - intimacy - by Missy (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out that I've been paying student fees for the wrong account. Apparently I have been paying for some other student's tuition. FML

#14717169
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31239) - you deserved it (7151)

On 01/26/2011 at 3:52am - money - by AlreadyInDebt (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my girlfriend, who's on a diet, refused to give me a blow job because my sperm would "add useless calories" to her day. FML

#14677100
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36108) - you deserved it (13269)

On 01/22/2011 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went out to my car only to find my battery had died the night before. With the wind chill, it was -20°F outside. With the hood open, and jumper cables in one hand, I tried to flag down a passing motorist for help. A man in a truck slowed down, sarcastically waved at me, and kept driving. FML

#14663711
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24728) - you deserved it (2567)

On 01/21/2011 at 4:50pm - misc - by dwhitehouse (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, after some filing mistakes, and a lot of waiting on hold, I'm finally registered for Spring classes. I was ready to enjoy this term, until I found out that my ex, who was forced into therapy after he threatened to kill me, is in half of my classes. FML

#14622823
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27796) - you deserved it (2397)

On 01/18/2011 at 3:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



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