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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from Wisconsin

Today, I was stood up on a date. Her excuse? "I had to work out." FML

#14249095
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20649) - you deserved it (2820)

On 12/18/2010 at 3:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was driving with my dog. Looking out the half-open window he stepped on the switch, the window went up, causing his head to get stuck. I looked down and he had scared the shit out of himself, all over my shirt. FML

#14208425
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23874) - you deserved it (8986)

On 12/14/2010 at 11:24pm - animals - by fufu_mutt (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML

#14190460
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37326) - you deserved it (9474)

On 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm - intimacy - by Wisconsin love - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my fencing team took pictures for the yearbook. We were having individual pictures with our weapons, and it was my turn. When the photographer told me to pose, I tried to be super cool by quickly putting my sabre against my chest like some sort of soldier. I poked myself in the eye. FML

#14051291
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5753) - you deserved it (28222)

On 12/01/2010 at 7:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was at my psychologist's. We were talking about creative outlets and I told him that I wanted to start playing Dungeons and Dragons again. He starts chuckling, and then says, "Oh, you were serious." FML

#14032735
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11151) - you deserved it (18403)

On 11/30/2010 at 2:16am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had to move back in with my dad and brother. After getting settled, I had to shower. I got everything ready and when I got in, it smelled strongly of pee. The stink was so intense I could barely breathe. Cleaning doesn't even help. I'm stuck here for at least a month. I hate living with men. FML

Today, I was in lying in bed with my boyfriend while he was asleep. He is going to school to be a doctor, and it appears that he says anatomical terms while asleep. My boyfriend can make me feel stupid in his sleep. FML

#13580175
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12935) - you deserved it (21365)

On 10/24/2010 at 7:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I flew to California to visit my younger sister at college. When I got to her house, her boyfriend looks at her and says, "Shes not THAT ugly." FML

#13554523
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24500) - you deserved it (2382)

On 10/22/2010 at 8:57pm - misc - by annonymus - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I realized the benefits at Burger King are better than at my company. I'm an engineer, have three degrees, speak three languages fluently, and work at a multi-billion dollar company. The guy flipping burgers has better health care and more corporate 401k contributions than I do. FML

#13518808
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27010) - you deserved it (3443)

On 10/19/2010 at 11:01pm - work - by engineerdude91 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, in preparation for a presentation at work, I decided to take a handful of vitamins to fight my cold. As I was putting the bottles away, I noticed one of them was a laxative. FML

#13496892
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7962) - you deserved it (28565)

On 10/18/2010 at 8:44am - work - by sofakingweetodit - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was shopping for pillows at Bed Bath and Beyond. My husband playfully picked up a pillow pretending to start a pillow fight. I grabbed the largest pillow and chased him with it. When I finally caught up with him, a manager came around the corner. I was escorted out. FML

#13496559
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7997) - you deserved it (26996)

On 10/18/2010 at 7:52am - love - by sofakingweetodit - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I took a girl I like to the movies. Everything went great until I went in to kiss her. She didn't object, but my mother, who apparently followed me to the theater and was now pulling me away by my shirt while saying, "We're leaving!" certainly did. FML

#13235832
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36911) - you deserved it (2887)

On 09/28/2010 at 1:35pm - misc - by Jake - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I attended a job fair for a position at a shop. I was the only one who showed and submitted an application. I didn't get the job. FML

#13090304
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20699) - you deserved it (2596)

On 09/17/2010 at 8:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)



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