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FMLs submitted from Wisconsin

Today, it was my birthday. When my crush spotted me in the hallway and wished me a Happy Birthday, my nerves got the best of me and I blurted, "You too". FML

#19795247
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26070) - you deserved it (4668)

On 06/16/2012 at 12:58am - love - by thefailwhale (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my daughter's bed broke. Trying to see the damage, I lay down on her floor to get a closer look. I saw mountains of condom boxes under there. Now I know why the bed broke. FML

#19646260
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38934) - you deserved it (5165)

On 05/19/2012 at 11:08am - intimacy - by maggierose171 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got all my wisdom teeth out. Have you ever thrown up after mouth surgery? Stomach acid in your bloody gum holes is just as fun as it sounds. FML

Today, I found out who my randomly assigned roommate was. Out of 10,000+ people, I just happen to get assigned a girl who threatened to kill me. FML

#19599121
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25035) - you deserved it (1744)

On 05/09/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by roomingwithevil - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had food poisoning. When I was finally able to drag myself to the kitchen for some Gatorade, I got stung by a wasp. FML

#19575961
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22650) - you deserved it (1895)

On 05/05/2012 at 3:19am - health - by markzar - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went for a job interview for a building position at a retail store. They saw on my application that I was good at math. They asked me what the circumference of a circle is. Being nervous during the interview, I accidentally said the area of a circle. I didn't get the job. FML

#19567583
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18440) - you deserved it (6411)

On 05/03/2012 at 8:16am - work - by mathguy (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out my boyfriend gave me a surprise birthday present: herpes. FML

#19556007
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39614) - you deserved it (6862)

On 04/30/2012 at 11:01pm - intimacy - by lowlife123 (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I woke up to a text from my mother-in-law saying, "Happy birthday! I hope you have great birthday sex!" I'm now afraid to go over there for dinner tonight. FML

#19484491
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25952) - you deserved it (2839)

On 04/17/2012 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I posted on Facebook saying I'm in a new relationship. One of my buddies said, "You're cheating on Jill?" My girlfriend saw this and went completely nuts, not giving me a chance to explain that "Jill" is just a euphemism for your hand. FML

#19401228
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27475) - you deserved it (5339)

On 04/03/2012 at 2:10pm - love - by jackmehoffa (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I joined a dating site. The first guy it recommended is the stalker I met on the last dating site I used. FML

#19356489
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25387) - you deserved it (4341)

On 03/27/2012 at 8:25am - love - by thammer (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, at my grandmother's funeral there was a fight about inheritance. It was my teenage daughters arguing about what they get when I die. FML

#19337842
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24582) - you deserved it (2576)

On 03/24/2012 at 9:20am - kids - by thammer - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while skiing, the creepy guy controlling the chair lift said I was pretty. I was so caught off guard that I fell off. FML

#19171997
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19650) - you deserved it (4686)

On 02/26/2012 at 11:58pm - misc - by Confused - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I finally received my passport. Too bad my flight to Italy left last week. FML

#19070055
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23915) - you deserved it (6938)

On 02/13/2012 at 11:22pm - misc - by ontherun2012 - United States (Wisconsin)



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