Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Wisconsin

Today, my friends and I ran through a flock of resting seagulls. The birds took to the skies and chased after us, covering us in shit. FML

#17773363
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7977) - you deserved it (45136)

On 09/18/2011 at 4:17pm - animals - by shithead (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out that getting caught in a barbed wire fence isn't as bad as it sounds. Running through a forest at night, tripping over one, rolling down an embankment, and getting swiped by a car, however, is. FML

Today, I learned that I have the balls to base jump and skydive, but I still can't ask out the hot girl working at the pub. FML

#17620224
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22287) - you deserved it (7681)

On 08/30/2011 at 10:12am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was peeing, and I sneezed. I looked down to see that my gum had flown out of my mouth and gotten caught in my pubes. On the upside I got a new look. FML

#17383761
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20552) - you deserved it (8641)

On 08/06/2011 at 1:15am - misc - by en3rg1zer21 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had my back waxed to deal with the uncontrollable hair growth. Afterwards, I broke out in numerous pimples where the hair used to be. Basically, a lose-lose situation. FML

#17308613
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26484) - you deserved it (3380)

On 07/30/2011 at 12:01pm - misc - by Mitcha857 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got a completely random boner at a coffee shop, five seconds before two attractive women asked me to stand up and take their picture. FML

#17253981
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36699) - you deserved it (5210)

On 07/25/2011 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I finished reading a book about the treatment of mental patients and decided to use some of the strategies on my dad. We've never gotten along better. FML

#16971210
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31801) - you deserved it (3855)

On 07/04/2011 at 9:24am - misc - by Bekah (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was rear-ended while at a stop sign, by my driving instructor. FML

#16815939
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31200) - you deserved it (2404)

On 06/23/2011 at 12:39pm - misc - by Katie - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my aunt and I went shopping. When we got to the store, she said she forgot her wallet, and I told her I would buy some things for her. When we were at the checkout, I was a dollar short. She said, "Oh, I'll get it!" and pulled out her wallet. FML

#16648557
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43988) - you deserved it (4349)

On 06/13/2011 at 6:29pm - money - by sarahwittman - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I dreamed that I was making out with a cute girl. Just as I was about to take it to the next level, she suddenly burst into tears and said, "I'm sorry, I can't do this." I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML

#16609106
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54330) - you deserved it (6841)

On 06/11/2011 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Ryan - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I returned home after a three-week trip to Jamaica. When I opened the door to my room, I was greeted by a swarm of bees and their enormous nest, which was attached to my doorknob. Apparently, I'd forgotten to close the window properly before I left. FML

#15970719
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23678) - you deserved it (16642)

On 04/28/2011 at 10:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I co-starred in a production of Hamlet. Halfway through play, the actor playing Hamlet forgot his lines, threw a raging temper tantrum, screaming about how much he hated the play and how he wanted to go home in front of hundreds of audience members. FML

#15497521
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31369) - you deserved it (3172)

On 03/26/2011 at 11:41am - misc - by Sue (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while waiting in line for the ski lift, the lady behind me kept stepping on my skis. Annoyed, I turned around and shouted at her "Get the f*ck off my skis!" Just as the last word escaped my mouth, I noticed that my skis were crossed and it was actually me stepping on them. FML

#15127985
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6396) - you deserved it (56376)

On 02/26/2011 at 4:36pm - misc - by bitchyskier - United States (Wisconsin)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: