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FMLs submitted from Wisconsin

Today, I woke up to a text from my mother-in-law saying, "Happy birthday! I hope you have great birthday sex!" I'm now afraid to go over there for dinner tonight. FML

#19484491
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24228) - you deserved it (2686)

On 04/17/2012 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I posted on Facebook saying I'm in a new relationship. One of my buddies said, "You're cheating on Jill?" My girlfriend saw this and went completely nuts, not giving me a chance to explain that "Jill" is just a euphemism for your hand. FML

#19401228
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26492) - you deserved it (5240)

On 04/03/2012 at 2:10pm - love - by jackmehoffa (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I joined a dating site. The first guy it recommended is the stalker I met on the last dating site I used. FML

#19356489
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24750) - you deserved it (4290)

On 03/27/2012 at 8:25am - love - by thammer (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, at my grandmother's funeral there was a fight about inheritance. It was my teenage daughters arguing about what they get when I die. FML

#19337842
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24473) - you deserved it (2568)

On 03/24/2012 at 9:20am - kids - by thammer - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while skiing, the creepy guy controlling the chair lift said I was pretty. I was so caught off guard that I fell off. FML

#19171997
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18331) - you deserved it (4518)

On 02/26/2012 at 11:58pm - misc - by Confused - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I finally received my passport. Too bad my flight to Italy left last week. FML

#19070055
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23814) - you deserved it (6916)

On 02/13/2012 at 11:22pm - misc - by ontherun2012 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was looking through my boyfriend's Facebook photos, when I saw a recent comment by one of his friends asking how his night out with "Danielle" went. He replied: "Dude, keep that shit on the down-low." We've been dating for over a year. FML

#18927532
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30518) - you deserved it (2780)

On 01/27/2012 at 6:52pm - love - by Cheating (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, the vibrator I ordered online was delivered. I'd paid extra to make sure it would be here before the weekend, so I could sneak it into my room while everyone was gone. My dad decided to stay home all day and answer the door ahead of me. FML

#18864460
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27388) - you deserved it (8277)

On 01/20/2012 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by Ouch (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

#18744677
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49218) - you deserved it (46273)

On 01/08/2012 at 9:36am - intimacy - by omgwhyme (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had to ask my girlfriend to please stop telling me about her ex's penis. FML

#18705552
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43918) - you deserved it (4158)

On 01/04/2012 at 11:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while I was in the break room at work, one of my coworkers walked in on me playing with my animal crackers, complete with animal noises. Now, the entire department won't stop teasing me and calling me Tarzan. FML

#18687343
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12368) - you deserved it (32542)

On 01/02/2012 at 3:55pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, after pouring my heart out to my girlfriend of 4 years through a speech that took me 3 weeks to write, and then proposing, she responded, "Eh, why not." FML

#18588248
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33134) - you deserved it (4160)

On 12/23/2011 at 11:38am - love - by LukeSkywalker (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me over for an "important chat". This chat consisted of him not only insisting that we have sex whenever he feels like it, but demanding that I take birth control pills, because making him wear a condom is "sexist and degrading". FML

#18283192
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40478) - you deserved it (5826)

On 11/18/2011 at 6:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



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