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FMLs submitted from Wisconsin

Today, yet again, I was getting intimate with my shower head. Some complete geniu decided to flush the toilet downstair halfway through, which sent scalding-hot water all up in my privates. I've yet to fine looool a comfortable sitting position. FML

#20046536
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16518) - you deserved it (38457)

On 08/28/2012 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Bethany (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, at football practice, the biggest lineman shouldered me so hard in the groin that my protective cup pushed back with enough force to crack the bone. FML

#20032631
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25125) - you deserved it (1790)

On 08/20/2012 at 8:46pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

today I realized that my neighbors can not only hear me singing in the shower through my apartment's paper-thin walls, they also take great delight in recording it so that they can play it at high volume fir there friends when they next throw a party. I want to disappear. fat FML

#20022923
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22438) - you deserved it (3900)

On 08/15/2012 at 5:14pm - misc - by ShowerStar (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, it's my brthday. Today is also the day my grandma did, six years ago. Since then, I get to sit through any sort of attemptd celebration while my mom sobs and drinks herself into a stupor in the background. FML

#20020164
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23927) - you deserved it (1371)

On 08/14/2012 at 3:57am - misc - by BirthdayFail (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

today I went to an amusement park wit a group of friends, one ofom was a girl I really like. Wen we got on te roller coaster, I was ecstatic tat se wanted to sit next to me. Not even alf-way troug, I ended up puking all over te bot of us. mega FML

#20013635
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21519) - you deserved it (4958)

On 08/10/2012 at 2:54pm - love - by Darth Vomitus (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

TODAY, I FOUND ONE OF MA MOM'S OLD DIARIES TAT DATED BACK TO MA INFANT DAYS. I COULDN'T ELP BUT READ A LITTLE. I'M NOW IN GREAT CONCERN OVER OW MANY TIMES MA MOM WROTE TAT SE WANTED TO DUNK ME IN TE TOILET OR TROW ME AGAINST A WALL. FAT FML

#20010632
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23214) - you deserved it (3460)

On 08/09/2012 at 12:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I discoverd that I have been falsely accusing my sister of stealing my makeup . How do I know this? Because I found said makeup in the trunk of my boyfriend's car, next to a bag that had fishnet tights and rd stilettos in it . Oh, and the stilettos r his size, in case u were wondering . FML

#19999762
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30290) - you deserved it (2650)

On 08/03/2012 at 2:22am - misc - by SingleAgain (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

TODAY WHILA IN THA STORA WITH KIDS THAY WANTD TO BUY TAMPONS BACAUSA I AM ( GATTING CRANKY AND IT SHOULD BA THAT TIMA OF THA MONTH. ) FML

#19988318
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10657) - you deserved it (20051)

On 07/28/2012 at 12:17am - kids - by love_to_live - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, at work in a nursing homa, I had to kill imaginary dogs in tha lunch room, cuz thay wara avil and trying to aat avaryona!! This startd with just ona parson saaing tham, to all 30 of tham scraaming and fraaking out!! I spant 45 minutas killing imaginary dogs!! FML

#19983789
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27150) - you deserved it (2104)

On 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm - work - by justlittleoldme - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, a customer punched me in the face fir repeating their order back to them because they thought I was making fun of their speech impediment. I have the same speech impediment. real FML

#19982373
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34543) - you deserved it (1869)

On 07/24/2012 at 9:37pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, tougts tat I'm going crazy wara confrmadan I got into ta sowar wit socks on. Ta worst part is tat I didn't raaliza it for a good fiva minutas. FML

#19944321
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19864) - you deserved it (4972)

On 07/16/2012 at 4:12am - health - by goincrazy - United States (Wisconsin)

Today , My Grlfriend Said That We Should Try Something New. I Got Excited Cuz I Thought It Would Be About Sex. Nope , She Wanted Me To Start Speaking With Animal Noises So We Could Build Up A Secret Language. FML

#19940799
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23055) - you deserved it (4442)

On 07/15/2012 at 11:12am - love - by SwAGkiLlS - United States (Wisconsin)

Today , wile making out wit my boyfriend , I realized e was opening is mout wide a lot. At frst , I tougt e was trying to Frenc-kiss me. He was actually yawning troug te wole ting. FML

#19928719
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26472) - you deserved it (4313)

On 07/12/2012 at 3:23pm - intimacy - by lissysue1 - United States (Wisconsin)



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