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FMLs submitted from Wisconsin

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to spank the ferret in bed and spray me while singing the Spiderman theme song. FML

#20093277
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22638) - you deserved it (4540)

On 09/29/2012 at 5:14am - intimacy - by BabyG2222 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I helped my friend, who is a slob, move out of my house. I found the source of the funky smell she's been complaining about, under her bed. It was her vibrator. I found it with my bare hands. I had to bleach my hands twice and I still don't feel clean. FML

#20081199
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31856) - you deserved it (2309)

On 09/20/2012 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by MistressSuzuka (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my 2-year-old sister walked in on me while I was showering. She began to splash around in the toilet, and as I hastily jumped out to stop her, my brother and his friend got a good look as they walked past the room. FML

#20073442
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19827) - you deserved it (3267)

On 09/15/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by FullMonty (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I learned that I'm expecting twins. A boy and a girl. My husband, upon finding out about this, immediately suggested that we give them Star Wars names. But not Luke and Leia. Oh no. He wants to name them Darth and Vayda. And he is absolutely serious about this. FML

#20068529
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23623) - you deserved it (3634)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:03am - kids - by AGeeksWife (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, after my annoying neighbor who used to spend hours playing the cello in the apartment below me finally moved out, I found out that I have a new musical neighbor moving in. This fellow plays the bagpipes. FML

#20067181
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21026) - you deserved it (2430)

On 09/11/2012 at 2:11am - misc - by PissedbythePiper (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, a woman came up to me at work and screamed at me for "taking forever" to come and wait at her table. I work at Wendy's. FML

#20056260
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22801) - you deserved it (1552)

On 09/03/2012 at 7:43pm - work - by FastFoodWaiter (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got a perm in an attempt to prove to my family that I'd been doing well with my life since I last saw them almost a year ago. I ended up going over for dinner looking like Bozo the Clown thanks to my idiot stylist, and my brothers wouldn't stop mocking me about it. FML

#20050563
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7452) - you deserved it (19395)

On 08/31/2012 at 3:57am - misc - by Bozo (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, after finishing a song during karaoke, a man came up to me and held out his hand. Quite flattered, I shook it, said thanks and that I was glad he enjoyed it. Turns out he was next and just wanted the microphone. FML

#20049122
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16269) - you deserved it (8535)

On 08/30/2012 at 4:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, yet again, I was getting intimate with my shower head. Some complete genius decided to flush the toilet downstairs halfway through, which sent scalding-hot water all up in my privates. I've yet to find a comfortable sitting position. FML

#20046536
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16066) - you deserved it (37754)

On 08/28/2012 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Bethany (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, at football practice, the biggest lineman shouldered me so hard in the groin that my protective cup pushed back with enough force to crack the bone. FML

#20032631
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24116) - you deserved it (1718)

On 08/20/2012 at 8:46pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I realized that my neighbors can not only hear me singing in the shower through my apartment's paper-thin walls, they also take great delight in recording it so that they can play it at high volume for their friends when they next throw a party. I want to disappear. FML

#20022923
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20711) - you deserved it (3684)

On 08/15/2012 at 5:14pm - misc - by ShowerStar (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, it's my birthday. Today is also the day my grandma died, six years ago. Since then, I get to sit through any sort of attempted celebration while my mom sobs and drinks herself into a stupor in the background. FML

#20020164
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23646) - you deserved it (1355)

On 08/14/2012 at 3:57am - misc - by BirthdayFail (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went to an amusement park with a group of friends, one of whom was a girl I really like. When we got on the roller coaster, I was ecstatic that she wanted to sit next to me. Not even half-way through, I ended up puking all over the both of us. FML

#20013635
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21262) - you deserved it (4929)

On 08/10/2012 at 2:54pm - love - by Darth Vomitus (man) - United States (Wisconsin)



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