FMLs submitted from Wisconsin

Today, I realized that customers at my work ask me "Are you new or just stupid?" just as often as they did when I first started. FML

by stupid / 11/24/2014 at 2:21pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, I noticed that I get more calls from people who've dialed the wrong number than I do from people I actually know. FML

by loner / 11/14/2014 at 6:12pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Geek

Today, I left my desk to go to the bathroom. I arrived back at my desk to a large package of SlimQuick packets. Guess my coworkers think I need to lose weight. FML

by blondieforlife / 11/03/2014 at 10:38pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, my loving fiancé informed me that my new perfume makes me smell like a urinal cake. FML

by Anonymous / 11/03/2014 at 9:39pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, my boyfriend lied about having herpes, and used it as an excuse to dump me. FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2014 at 1:30am / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, I went to a Halloween party dressed as a pirate. Someone complimented me on how convincing the fake teeth were that I had on for my costume. I wasn't wearing fake teeth. FML

by iliveformystery / 10/31/2014 at 11:56am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML

by MySonThePoet / 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, I found out what it's like to drive seven hours home with a woman who just brutally rejected your marriage proposal. FML

by Anonymous / 10/25/2014 at 10:10am / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, someone stole my coat. I can only imagine their surprise when they find the $3,000 engagement ring I bought earlier. FML

by Anonymous / 10/24/2014 at 1:49pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Money

Today, my boss drove past me while I was walking to work, and splashing mud over my uniform. When I got to work, he criticized me for showing up in unpresentable condition. FML

by Chansus10 / 10/20/2014 at 11:03am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, my son drank a bottle of hot sauce. It wasn't a dare, he actually thought that it would give him a fever so that he could skip school tomorrow. This idiot is 15 years old. FML

by Anonymous / 10/12/2014 at 8:38pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, I went on a blind date that my friend set up. He greeted me with a winning smile, a belch, and the words, "Nice tits." I'm beginning to lose hope. FML

by bri_sci94 / 09/26/2014 at 2:56am / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, my friends came over to my house to eat my food and make fun of me as they played on my Xbox. FML

by iAmJasper / 09/17/2014 at 5:56pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous