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FMLs submitted from Wisconsin

Today, I had my first real date with my first serious boyfriend. I was nervous because from past experience. I learned my lips were a bit ticklish and I usually giggled a bit during kissing. Well, we started making out and I thought was I doing pretty good hiding my laughs. Until I wet myself. FML

#4819197
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47324) - you deserved it (9994)

On 08/25/2009 at 7:56pm - love - by RitaDahhlinnnng (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, as a joke, my friends and I decided to put me in a dress and makeup, to creep out a friend. I'm a guy. I'm not sure which is worse, the fact that I so willingly volunteered to wear the dress and the makeup, or the fact that I thought it was comfy and made me look slim. FML

#4402387
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11981) - you deserved it (49898)

On 08/09/2009 at 3:31am - misc - by twitch01 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, it was my mom's birthday, I planned to wish her a happy birthday as she woke up. I opened the door to her room only to see my dad dancing around in an American flag thong. Grimacing in pain I closed the door right away. Not only am I forever disturbed, but now my dad is asking me how he looks naked. FML

#4371069
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40815) - you deserved it (6356)

On 08/07/2009 at 9:34pm - misc - by scarredforlife (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I learned that the four girls who I assumed were my girlfriends' good friends and whom she was always talking about were actually characters from the television show, "Sex and the City." My girlfriend has fictional friends. FML

#3980523
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49636) - you deserved it (5875)

On 07/23/2009 at 3:16pm - love - by tubedout (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I tried to make my mom feel better about me leaving for camp for 2 weeks by saying I wish she would come too. She took me seriously and called the camp and is now a camp counselor there. The only problem is I lied about going to the camp, and I'm really going to my boyfriend's lake house. FML

#3957207
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17141) - you deserved it (77060)

On 07/22/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by grounded4life (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend in town. We broke up a year ago because he "moved" to Florida. FML

#3910335
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46658) - you deserved it (4077)

On 07/20/2009 at 6:00pm - love - by dwellswithin (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my neighbor confessed to me that he was homophobic and regrets that his family doesnt know it. He spent fifteen minutes explaining how much he would hate to have a gay child. I spent two hours last night convincing his son that it was the right thing to tell his family he was gay. FML

#3776929
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54492) - you deserved it (5081)

On 07/15/2009 at 3:33pm - misc - by mook (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went to my friend's house for the first time. As I was pulling up, I called him and asked him if I could use his bathroom. He told me to just go in the back and use it, so i did. As i'm sitting on the toilet, someone knocks on the door and asks me who I am. It wasn't my friend's house. FML

#3645311
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52464) - you deserved it (11043)

On 07/10/2009 at 5:22pm - misc - by whitewater_al (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML

#2820410
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54133) - you deserved it (6389)

On 06/12/2009 at 12:49am - kids - by downlowtooslow (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was working at my retail job. A customer stopped me on my way to break saying "someone" had broken a snow globe. She showed me where it was and I cleaned it up with her circling me. I finished and put the cleaning supplies away when I heard a 'crash' as the same woman dropped another snow globe. FML

#2582009
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49112) - you deserved it (2233)

On 06/03/2009 at 9:35pm - misc - by kilo1_13 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went to a real Japanese restaurant with my sister and mom, where you had to take off your shoes and sit on the floor. After the meal, I realized my shoes were no longer where I put them. For the seven years the restaurant has been open, I'm the first person to get their shoes stolen. FML

#2355217
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49323) - you deserved it (3245)

On 05/27/2009 at 8:51pm - misc - by Jdub (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



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