FMLs submitted from Wisconsin

Today, I tried to rid my son of his pacifier. He still uses it to sleep. My son is 20 years old. FML

by Anonymous / 12/16/2009 at 8:57pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, my math TA showed the class how one of her "dumb" students answered a test question. Everyone laughed as she wrote out the students answer, including myself, until I looked down at my answer sheet and saw that I submitted an identical answer. FML

by Anonymous / 12/10/2009 at 12:35pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, our midterm exams were returned in my urban politics class. I had studied hard and scored 86%. The blonde girl next to me got a 92. Earlier in the semester she had asked me what state Detroit was in. FML

by Postdotfuzz / 12/07/2009 at 7:12pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at lunch with my mom and we were talking about how to tell my brother that Santa Clause isn't real. After we finished our conversation, I heard someone crying. Little did I know, two little kids and their parents were sitting in the booth behind me. FML

by TooTallNiCo / 11/28/2009 at 12:36pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I hit a deer. The worst part? Papa deer saw me hit mama deer, and proceded to ram into my car. FML

by Anonymous / 11/26/2009 at 2:11pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Transportation

Today, I went to Disneyworld. I fell and hit my head while jumping up and down to see Ariel. I'm a 35 year old man. FML

by disney / 11/26/2009 at 11:30am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to convince my boyfriend to come over, telling him it would be "worth his time." He asked, "How?" I said, "Dazzling conversation of course. Just kidding, you'll probably get laid." He replied, "Oh. Well I would if it was for the conversation." FML

by sexyconvo / 11/25/2009 at 2:23am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, at work at a grocery store an old couple came through my checkout lane. As I was putting their bagged groceries in the cart, the old man started feeling me up. FML

by beckbm23 / 11/21/2009 at 12:03am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, I had my new Blackberry Curve sitting on my lunch tray. Unthinkingly, i tossed it into the garbage can. 10 minutes later i realized I had thrown it away and spent the next hour searching through six garbage cans of half-eaten food. FML

by gravycoveredblackberry / 11/19/2009 at 6:37pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that if you are too lazy to get completely dressed in the morning and only put on a top, you should not answer a Skype video call from your boss that involves you standing up, turning around and grabbing files from your filing cabinet all in clear view of your web cam. FML

by julie / 11/11/2009 at 8:54pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, I was texting while making dinner. I went to pour the noodles into the boiling water and I dropped my phone in. Not thinking, I went to retrieve it from the water. I now have a completely useless phone and a useless hand. FML

by Anonymous / 11/11/2009 at 7:04pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that I didn't get a job because I failed the psychological analysis. It told me to answer each question and tell the truth. So I did. I ask my friend, who got the job, if she told the truth. She said no. Apparently you have to lie in order to get a job. Sorry for being honest. FML

by samantha711 / 11/09/2009 at 9:28pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, I got a letter in the mail saying I'm being sued by the guy that broke into my house last week. When I walked in and saw him, I tackled him, punched him in the face a time or two, and restrained him with zip ties. I now have to pay for his broken nose and face charges of assault. FML

by ShouldHaveLetHimTakeTheTV / 11/07/2009 at 12:01pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous