Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Wisconsin

Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend in town. We broke up a year ago because he "moved" to Florida. FML

#3910335
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46411) - you deserved it (4059)

On 07/20/2009 at 6:00pm - love - by dwellswithin (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my neighbor confessed to me that he was homophobic and regrets that his family doesnt know it. He spent fifteen minutes explaining how much he would hate to have a gay child. I spent two hours last night convincing his son that it was the right thing to tell his family he was gay. FML

#3776929
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52766) - you deserved it (4917)

On 07/15/2009 at 3:33pm - misc - by mook (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went to my friend's house for the first time. As I was pulling up, I called him and asked him if I could use his bathroom. He told me to just go in the back and use it, so i did. As i'm sitting on the toilet, someone knocks on the door and asks me who I am. It wasn't my friend's house. FML

#3645311
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52193) - you deserved it (10994)

On 07/10/2009 at 5:22pm - misc - by whitewater_al (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML

#2820410
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52379) - you deserved it (6215)

On 06/12/2009 at 12:49am - kids - by downlowtooslow (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was working at my retail job. A customer stopped me on my way to break saying "someone" had broken a snow globe. She showed me where it was and I cleaned it up with her circling me. I finished and put the cleaning supplies away when I heard a 'crash' as the same woman dropped another snow globe. FML

#2582009
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47590) - you deserved it (2107)

On 06/03/2009 at 9:35pm - misc - by kilo1_13 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went to a real Japanese restaurant with my sister and mom, where you had to take off your shoes and sit on the floor. After the meal, I realized my shoes were no longer where I put them. For the seven years the restaurant has been open, I'm the first person to get their shoes stolen. FML

#2355217
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47972) - you deserved it (3155)

On 05/27/2009 at 8:51pm - misc - by Jdub (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I accepted an internship in Chicago and finished my final exams. I decided to play some pick up basketball one last time before summer. Within 2 minutes I got undercut going for a rebound and shattered my knee cap into 3 pieces. My summer in Chicago will be spent in a full leg cast. FML

#1952667
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37764) - you deserved it (3619)

On 05/15/2009 at 12:05am - health - by FourKnees (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I walked to my local McDonald's. I spent the last 7 dollars I had on my meal. As I began to walk back to my dorm, I was mugged. I explained to them I had no money, so they stole my food. FML

#1936561
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46201) - you deserved it (3232)

On 05/14/2009 at 5:23pm - misc - by Aaron (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my cell phone rang while I was still asleep. I picked it up, half asleep, only to find it was a wrong number from some guy. Three minutes later I receive a text message saying "Hey, you sound cute..." from the same number. I looked to see if he was local. I'm that desperate. FML

Today, I went to have a sperm analysis done at the fertility clinic. I spent an hour trying to masturbate into a cup but I was too anxious and couldn't finish. There was a knock on the door, a clinician and a lab assistant both were there, wondering if I was ok. I have to go back next week. FML

#1591881
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55535) - you deserved it (7886)

On 05/03/2009 at 12:47pm - intimacy - by alpine75 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my girlfriend's mother called her in the bedroom for a serious talk. I overheard them arguing and yelling at each other. It turns out her mother found a condom next to her garbage. We got caught because her cat swallowed the condom and threw it up. FML

#1520851
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54243) - you deserved it (18807)

On 05/01/2009 at 10:28am - intimacy - by badluckdrew (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I spent 90 dollars and two and a half hours getting my hair done at a fancy salon. As I was unlocking my car, a bird pooped in my hair. FML

#1323390
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51131) - you deserved it (11314)

On 04/25/2009 at 3:12pm - animals - by birdmagnet (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: