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FMLs submitted from Wisconsin

Today, I was arrested for DWI in my own apartment complex. I had to be released into the custody of a sober adult, but I wasn't allowed access to my phone to get any numbers. I only have a few memorized. So I was picked up from jail by my ex-girlfriend and her fiancé - my manager at work. FML

#8733568
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18698) - you deserved it (15897)

On 02/28/2010 at 10:46pm - misc - by Ben - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I sat a client down for his haircut. He pulled off his hat and his hair was dripping wet. I asked him if he had just washed it. He responded, "No, but isn't it a hot day out?" No, it's twenty degrees and overcast today. FML

#8336543
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24258) - you deserved it (2150)

On 02/16/2010 at 11:35am - work - by kennarama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was checking the Facebook event page to see who is attending the party I am having this weekend, since my parents are going out of town. 1 person has confirmed. My mom. FML

#8052181
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9645) - you deserved it (35785)

On 02/09/2010 at 1:52pm - misc - by fbcaught (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was riding a bus. After having a conversation with my friend, I looked down and saw a little boy looking at me. He asked, "Are you a boy or a girl?" As if that wasn't bad enough, when I responded that I was a girl, he said, "Oh. So, why do you have a boy voice then?" FML

#7884126
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27683) - you deserved it (2796)

On 02/04/2010 at 7:47pm - kids - by luciaspiano (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, at work I was ringing up some tampons for a woman, and I try to interact with the shoppers as much as possible. I was trying to think of something witty or funny to say but drew a blank, so I decided just to say "have a nice night." What I actually said was "have a nice flow". FML

#7492497
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10081) - you deserved it (31089)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:26am - work - by iluvjenknee (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I spent 3 hours in my home recording studio. I was recording vocals and was trying to hit a very hard series of notes. I nailed it after 2 hours and listened. You can hear the vocals, but the EQ settings were tweaked in just the right way where you can hear my dog licking his nuts. FML

#7490681
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26158) - you deserved it (5252)

On 01/22/2010 at 12:08am - animals - by Parental (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I thought I'd be safe by looking before crossing a one way street unlike I normally do. Too bad I looked the wrong way and didn't see the car that hit me. FML

#7343318
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9203) - you deserved it (32995)

On 01/14/2010 at 7:01pm - misc - by Lackadaisical (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my mom explained the benefits of douching to me with my boyfriend right there. He began arguing with her about how the vagina is usually self-cleaning. FML

#7263265
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17662) - you deserved it (2054)

On 01/10/2010 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by CD (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was working as a cashier and a woman brought up a suitcase. As I was ringing her up I checked inside like I'm supposed to and I very jokingly say, "Look at all the stuff you're stealing." She laughed nervously then hit me in the head with her heavy purse before running out of the store. FML

#7215986
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31657) - you deserved it (3998)

On 01/08/2010 at 11:35am - work - by WesJaz (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I realized that the only part of my body that has had a reduction in size from changing my diet and working out isn't my stomach or my thighs but my already undersized breasts. FML

#7094608
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28350) - you deserved it (2914)

On 01/02/2010 at 12:15am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I woke up and realized I have experienced my first "nocturnal emission". I am a 24 year old male who has been married for 3 months. Guess who isn't getting any. FML

#7025515
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17114) - you deserved it (2766)

On 12/29/2009 at 11:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I gave my 7 year old a snowglobe. I had spent the last week deconstructing it, putting an action figure of his favorite cartoon character inside, and then putting it back together. Later, I find it smashed into pieces because he wanted to "play with the toy it came with." FML

#6998138
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26886) - you deserved it (6756)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my girlfriend left me for my sister. I can't stop thinking about all those days they went out alone for "girl time." FML

#6976806
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46324) - you deserved it (3622)

On 12/27/2009 at 5:34pm - love - by notgoodenough38 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)



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