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FMLs submitted from Wisconsin

Today, I thought I'd be safe by looking before crossing a one way street unlike I normally do. Too bad I looked the wrong way and didn't see the car that hit me. FML

#7343318
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8215) - you deserved it (30315)

On 01/14/2010 at 7:01pm - misc - by Lackadaisical (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my mom explained the benefits of douching to me with my boyfriend right there. He began arguing with her about how the vagina is usually self-cleaning. FML

#7263265
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17511) - you deserved it (2042)

On 01/10/2010 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by CD (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was working as a cashier and a woman brought up a suitcase. As I was ringing her up I checked inside like I'm supposed to and I very jokingly say, "Look at all the stuff you're stealing." She laughed nervously then hit me in the head with her heavy purse before running out of the store. FML

#7215986
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31449) - you deserved it (3984)

On 01/08/2010 at 11:35am - work - by WesJaz (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I realized that the only part of my body that has had a reduction in size from changing my diet and working out isn't my stomach or my thighs but my already undersized breasts. FML

#7094608
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28161) - you deserved it (2894)

On 01/02/2010 at 12:15am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I woke up and realized I have experienced my first "nocturnal emission". I am a 24 year old male who has been married for 3 months. Guess who isn't getting any. FML

#7025515
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15126) - you deserved it (2542)

On 12/29/2009 at 11:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I gave my 7 year old a snowglobe. I had spent the last week deconstructing it, putting an action figure of his favorite cartoon character inside, and then putting it back together. Later, I find it smashed into pieces because he wanted to "play with the toy it came with." FML

#6998138
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25994) - you deserved it (6633)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my girlfriend left me for my sister. I can't stop thinking about all those days they went out alone for "girl time." FML

#6976806
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43228) - you deserved it (3369)

On 12/27/2009 at 5:34pm - love - by notgoodenough38 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, the elderly couple next door asked me to cut down a tree in their yard. It turns out they told me to cut down the wrong tree, and I cut down the tree they got married under. They now hate me and tell me they plan to sue me for damage to property. FML

#6897944
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32560) - you deserved it (3640)

On 12/23/2009 at 3:46am - work - by jordigs (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found a pair of glasses in my car. I don't wear glasses, and nobody besides myself has been in my car lately. It appears that someone has been sleeping in my car and forgot their glasses. FML

#6836153
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23424) - you deserved it (2911)

On 12/19/2009 at 9:40pm - misc - by chrono64 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was lying in bed with the worst stomach cramps ever. My boyfriend came, looked at me writhing in pain, and said, "Well at least if it's a tapeworm you'll get skinnier." FML

#6826046
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33217) - you deserved it (3357)

On 12/19/2009 at 10:15am - love - by ouch (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was changing the oil on my car. I decided to pretend I was delivering a baby as I was removing the oil filter. I got really into it and was screaming things like "I see the head," and when I removed it, I said "Oh, it's a boy!" As I reach for my rag to clean it, I saw my neighbor's boots. FML

#6803629
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6878) - you deserved it (38165)

On 12/17/2009 at 11:29pm - misc - by nwalsh2009 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I tried to rid my son of his pacifier. He still uses it to sleep. My son is 20 years old. FML

#6783679
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31704) - you deserved it (22841)

On 12/16/2009 at 8:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my math TA showed the class how one of her "dumb" students answered a test question. Everyone laughed as she wrote out the students answer, including myself, until I looked down at my answer sheet and saw that I submitted an identical answer. FML

#6693694
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8476) - you deserved it (25137)

On 12/10/2009 at 12:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)



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