Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Wisconsin

Today, I had my new Blackberry Curve sitting on my lunch tray. Unthinkingly, i tossed it into the garbage can. 10 minutes later i realized I had thrown it away and spent the next hour searching through six garbage cans of half-eaten food. FML

#6372164
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6275) - you deserved it (24747)

On 11/19/2009 at 6:37pm - misc - by gravycoveredblackberry (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I realized that if you are too lazy to get completely dressed in the morning and only put on a top, you should not answer a Skype video call from your boss that involves you standing up, turning around and grabbing files from your filing cabinet all in clear view of your web cam. FML

#6264237
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7058) - you deserved it (36664)

On 11/11/2009 at 8:54pm - work - by julie (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was texting while making dinner. I went to pour the noodles into the boiling water and I dropped my phone in. Not thinking, I went to retrieve it from the water. I now have a completely useless phone and a useless hand. FML

#6262427
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9504) - you deserved it (33405)

On 11/11/2009 at 7:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out that I didn't get a job because I failed the psychological analysis. It told me to answer each question and tell the truth. So I did. I ask my friend, who got the job, if she told the truth. She said no. Apparently you have to lie in order to get a job. Sorry for being honest. FML

#6235478
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25566) - you deserved it (6912)

On 11/09/2009 at 9:28pm - work - by samantha711 (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got a letter in the mail saying I'm being sued by the guy that broke into my house last week. When I walked in and saw him, I tackled him, punched him in the face a time or two, and restrained him with zip ties. I now have to pay for his broken nose and face charges of assault. FML

#6195343
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46589) - you deserved it (4232)

On 11/07/2009 at 12:01pm - misc - by ShouldHaveLetHimTakeTheTV (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my landlord came over while I wasn't home. My friend and her pets were thrown out by her husband. I'm the only person she knows in this state and she begged me to stay. I reluctantly told her fine; just don't answer the door. She did, with the animals, and told him she was living here. FML

#6133769
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28248) - you deserved it (5592)

On 11/03/2009 at 10:59am - misc - by katurday (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I realized that the drunk-me deletes my texts, so the sober-me doesn't get mad. Well turns out, whatever the drunk-me said, caused me to lose my job, my girlfriend, and my coffee machine. FML

#6100010
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11877) - you deserved it (44933)

On 11/01/2009 at 11:35am - misc - by Joe (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I searched myself on Facebook. I have a fan page made by some girl in Wisconsin. She has pictures of me on it. Can you say stalker? FML

#5996462
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34057) - you deserved it (4403)

On 10/25/2009 at 8:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had to go to the dentist to have a cavity filled. Around halfway through the procedure, something broke the silence in the room. It was my dentist, who had farted. I had to smell his rancid flatulence for around the next five minutes. All the while, I had to keep my mouth wide open. FML

#5867673
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34105) - you deserved it (2246)

On 10/17/2009 at 3:48pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was participating in an exercise in my psychology class to describe this horrible looking person I had never seen before and I described the person as a "rebellious, drug dealing, lowlife". The person in that picture turned out to be my teacher. FML

#5826781
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20005) - you deserved it (8456)

On 10/14/2009 at 9:39am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my college roomate and I received our first pieces of mail. We were very excited because our mailbox wasn't empty anymore. She got a package of home baked cookies in the mail from her family. I got a letter from a stranger in prison. FML

#5675948
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35594) - you deserved it (3229)

On 10/06/2009 at 12:32am - misc - by mahlee (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my girlfriend asked if she should get birthcontrol, of course I said yes and offered to pay the 55 dollar fee. She got her physical and pills and then dumped me the next day. I basically paid 55 dollars so that she can sleep with other people. FML

#5392690
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24660) - you deserved it (3615)

On 09/21/2009 at 12:34pm - intimacy - by charlieday (man) - United States (Wisconsin)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: