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FMLs submitted from Wisconsin

Today, I left my desk to go to the bathroom. I arrived back at my desk to a large package of SlimQuick packets. Guess my coworkers think I need to lose weight. FML

#21291592
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27756) - you deserved it (3016)

On 11/03/2014 at 10:38pm - work - by blondieforlife - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my loving fiancé informed me that my new perfume makes me smell like a urinal cake. FML

#21291542
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27332) - you deserved it (4705)

On 11/03/2014 at 9:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend lied about having herpes, and used it as an excuse to dump me. FML

#21290234
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30753) - you deserved it (2692)

On 11/02/2014 at 1:30am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went to a Halloween party dressed as a pirate. Someone complimented me on how convincing the fake teeth were that I had on for my costume. I wasn't wearing fake teeth. FML

#21289034
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29045) - you deserved it (5573)

On 10/31/2014 at 11:56am - misc - by iliveformystery (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML

#21285975
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32721) - you deserved it (4566)

On 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm - kids - by MySonThePoet (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out what it's like to drive seven hours home with a woman who just brutally rejected your marriage proposal. FML

#21284911
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42623) - you deserved it (3492)

On 10/25/2014 at 10:10am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, someone stole my coat. I can only imagine their surprise when they find the $3,000 engagement ring I bought earlier. FML

#21284412
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41861) - you deserved it (3296)

On 10/24/2014 at 1:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boss drove past me while I was walking to work, and splashing mud over my uniform. When I got to work, he criticized me for showing up in unpresentable condition. FML

#21281679
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36067) - you deserved it (2457)

On 10/20/2014 at 11:03am - work - by Chansus10 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my son drank a bottle of hot sauce. It wasn't a dare, he actually thought that it would give him a fever so that he could skip school tomorrow. This idiot is 15 years old. FML

#21276472
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36993) - you deserved it (4739)

On 10/12/2014 at 8:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went on a blind date that my friend set up. He greeted me with a winning smile, a belch, and the words, "Nice tits." I'm beginning to lose hope. FML

#21265612
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34445) - you deserved it (3235)

On 09/26/2014 at 2:56am - love - by bri_sci94 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my friends came over to my house to eat my food and make fun of me as they played on my Xbox. FML

#21260159
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31931) - you deserved it (7720)

On 09/17/2014 at 5:56pm - misc - by iAmJasper - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I looked at a girl's profile on a dating website, and it told her I'd visited it. Later on, she sent me a message. It said: "Don't even think about it." FML

Today, my goat decided my hairstyle was so last season and restyled it for me with his teeth. FML



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