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FMLs submitted from Wisconsin

Today, I told my boyfriend of three years that I wanted to get married and have a child within the next five years. He responded by packing up my things and showing me the door. FML

#21447549
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19451) - you deserved it (4325)

On 07/26/2015 at 2:20pm - love - by rissa5214 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had to explain to my boss that I was late to work because somehow my hand slipped when I was brushing my teeth, and I hit myself in the eye with the brush. I had to remove my contacts, wash my eye, and find my glasses. He didn't believe me, but at least my eye is minty fresh. FML

#21446192
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21293) - you deserved it (2010)

On 07/23/2015 at 8:12pm - work - by sarika (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went to visit my mother after many years. Her hoarding has gotten so bad that now the house is entirely filled with junk and garbage, and she is camping out in the jungle of a backyard, cooking on a cauldron over a fire and shitting in the compost pile, with no working heat or water. FML

#21431843
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26174) - you deserved it (2081)

On 06/25/2015 at 4:03pm - misc - by childofcrazy (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex quite aggressively. Towards the end, he lifted his hips off the bed and then headbutted me in the nose. The only thing that came today was blood all over my new bra. FML

Today, I had to take my daughter to the ER. Her brother had bet she couldn't go the whole day without talking. So to win the bet, she tried to super-glue her lips together so she couldn't accidentally say anything. FML

Today, I saw my uncle, whom I have not seen in five years, at a family gathering. His reaction to seeing me? "Holy SHIT you have BOOBS! The guys must be all over you!" I awkwardly replied, "No..." Then he muttered, "I know I would." FML

Today, my husband admitted that he's been spying on me for the last 5 years to see if I was cheating, out of paranoia brought on by his own cheating for all 5 of those years. FML

#21398951
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31545) - you deserved it (1835)

On 04/24/2015 at 10:12am - love - by LolaBell (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I came out as bisexual to my 17-year-old sister. She was quiet for a second, then told me she knows for sure I only have "girl parts". I had to explain to her the difference between being bi and being a hermaphrodite. FML

#21397585
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30046) - you deserved it (3157)

On 04/21/2015 at 7:00pm - intimacy - by Notthatone (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was uninvited from my own birthday party. FML

#21382721
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30230) - you deserved it (2897)

On 03/27/2015 at 11:42pm - misc - by BirthdayBoy - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my instructor turned up late to get me for my driving test. I soon realized something was seriously wrong. Turned out his wife left him last night, and he'd been drinking the pain away all morning. He ended up rear-ending another car, and now I have to reschedule my test. FML

#21374413
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30788) - you deserved it (2405)

On 03/14/2015 at 12:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up because we got into a fight over what color that confusing black and blue and white and gold dress was. FML

#21364239
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31763) - you deserved it (75)

On 02/26/2015 at 10:07pm - love - by confused - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, after swallowing my birth control pill, I threw up all over myself. I then had to search through my puke to find my birth control pill and attempt to re-take it. FML

Today, I was at work copying some papers. The copier is below a shelf with lots of paper and signage, which suddenly flew off the hinge and hit me in the head as well as the copier. My boss ran in, asking, "Is the copier okay?" FML

#21356994
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26792) - you deserved it (2125)

On 02/15/2015 at 10:25pm - work - by LP - United States (Wisconsin)



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