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FMLs submitted from Wisconsin

Today, I went to celebrate Thanksgiving with my family. I watched as my uncle and his girlfriend snuck off to the bathroom together, where they stayed until someone else tried to get in. When they came out, she was wiping her mouth. I need new eyes. FML

#21306928
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22018) - you deserved it (1867)

On 11/27/2014 at 3:38pm - intimacy - by Trainer Calypso - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I realized that customers at my work ask me "Are you new or just stupid?" just as often as they did when I first started. FML

#21305199
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24977) - you deserved it (6555)

On 11/24/2014 at 2:21pm - work - by stupid - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I noticed that I get more calls from people who've dialed the wrong number than I do from people I actually know. FML

#21299095
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27653) - you deserved it (2290)

On 11/14/2014 at 6:12pm - misc - by loner - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I left my desk to go to the bathroom. I arrived back at my desk to a large package of SlimQuick packets. Guess my coworkers think I need to lose weight. FML

#21291592
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27648) - you deserved it (3007)

On 11/03/2014 at 10:38pm - work - by blondieforlife - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my loving fiancé informed me that my new perfume makes me smell like a urinal cake. FML

#21291542
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27188) - you deserved it (4687)

On 11/03/2014 at 9:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend lied about having herpes, and used it as an excuse to dump me. FML

#21290234
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30535) - you deserved it (2679)

On 11/02/2014 at 1:30am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went to a Halloween party dressed as a pirate. Someone complimented me on how convincing the fake teeth were that I had on for my costume. I wasn't wearing fake teeth. FML

#21289034
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28963) - you deserved it (5558)

On 10/31/2014 at 11:56am - misc - by iliveformystery (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML

#21285975
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32530) - you deserved it (4550)

On 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm - kids - by MySonThePoet (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out what it's like to drive seven hours home with a woman who just brutally rejected your marriage proposal. FML

#21284911
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41241) - you deserved it (3185)

On 10/25/2014 at 10:10am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, someone stole my coat. I can only imagine their surprise when they find the $3,000 engagement ring I bought earlier. FML

#21284412
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41710) - you deserved it (3286)

On 10/24/2014 at 1:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boss drove past me while I was walking to work, and splashing mud over my uniform. When I got to work, he criticized me for showing up in unpresentable condition. FML

#21281679
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35981) - you deserved it (2451)

On 10/20/2014 at 11:03am - work - by Chansus10 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my son drank a bottle of hot sauce. It wasn't a dare, he actually thought that it would give him a fever so that he could skip school tomorrow. This idiot is 15 years old. FML

#21276472
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35719) - you deserved it (4368)

On 10/12/2014 at 8:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went on a blind date that my friend set up. He greeted me with a winning smile, a belch, and the words, "Nice tits." I'm beginning to lose hope. FML

#21265612
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34321) - you deserved it (3221)

On 09/26/2014 at 2:56am - love - by bri_sci94 - United States (Wisconsin)



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