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FMLs submitted from Western Australia

Today, I learned that removing your boyfriends boxers with your teeth is waaaay less sexy when you accidentally bite a chunk of his pubes and yank them out in the process. FML

#7585326
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7798) - you deserved it (22536)

On 01/26/2010 at 3:59am - intimacy - by sexyfail (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend isn't gay. Apparently, I just give good head. FML

#7538814
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24332) - you deserved it (6573)

On 01/24/2010 at 3:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were eating an icecream, he put his arm around me and began leaning in for what I thought was a kiss. Instead, he grabbed and began jiggling my stomach fat, along with making raspberry sounds. Once he was done, he did the same to my thighs. FML

#7516271
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28140) - you deserved it (7135)

On 01/23/2010 at 3:38am - love - by weirdlove (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boyfriend and I went for a swim in his pool. I was hoping that the swim would be somewhat romantic, however, that came to an abrupt end when he decided that it would be cool and funny to try and lift me up by my boobs. FML

#7454643
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28977) - you deserved it (3898)

On 01/20/2010 at 11:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was in a rush to get to the toilet, I went in and sat on the seat. Then I felt a stinging pain on my left bum cheek. I jumped up quickly to see a wasp splashing around in the bowl. It stung me, and now have a bum cheek twice its normal size, and pee all over my pants. FML

#7243511
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25767) - you deserved it (2889)

On 01/09/2010 at 8:23pm - animals - by targetlove (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I got my first tip. It was a Mentos. FML

#6861005
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22439) - you deserved it (5104)

On 12/21/2009 at 4:33am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I noticed that in my cover letter I wrote "I also have an eye.", instead of "I also have an eye for details.", and I have been sending it out for the past few weeks. No wonder I haven't gotten any replies. FML

#6299927
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8209) - you deserved it (26781)

On 11/14/2009 at 11:52am - work - by crazylobster (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I took my car through the car wash. I got bored, so turned the radio on, forgetting that the aerial/antenna on the car is automatic. My car aerial is now bent at a 90 degree angle and about to fall off. The radio is half white noise, half stuff that may or may not be free jazz jam sessions. FML

#6036735
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6692) - you deserved it (30278)

On 10/28/2009 at 6:14am - misc - by ohsnap (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I took my new laptop into my house from my car, thinking it would be a too much of a target for kids grabbing it. I came home tonight to find my door kicked in, my laptop gone and my TV ripped from the wall. FML

#5719624
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33374) - you deserved it (2337)

On 10/08/2009 at 9:31am - money - by wheatsnake (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, whilst I was in a corner deli getting snacks, my girlfriend thought it would be funny to drive the car 50m down the street so that I would be confused when I come out... She was picked up by a cop driving without her license and now my car is impounded for 28 days. FML

#5547295
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35908) - you deserved it (2805)

On 09/29/2009 at 1:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I removed the safety padding from around the trampoline because it seemed useless. This afternoon, I did a backflip, got my hair stuck in the springs, ripped out a chunk of my hair, and face planted it into the brick pavers. FML

#5501456
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9467) - you deserved it (72052)

On 09/27/2009 at 4:35am - misc - by Not-so-good-gymnast (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML

#5309221
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22328) - you deserved it (77886)

On 09/17/2009 at 6:57am - work - by auscop (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my (now former) best friend kicked me out of the band I started because I wasn't 'dedicated enough' after a 3 day 'holiday' to visit my dying uncle. He also during this 3 day 'holiday' convinced my girl friend to leave me and date him. FML

#5287985
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53291) - you deserved it (2970)

On 09/16/2009 at 4:25am - misc - by dj163 (man) - Australia (Western Australia)



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