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FMLs submitted from Western Australia

Today, I married the woman I love. I wasn't the groom, I was the minister. FML

#13285940
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63728) - you deserved it (6037)

On 10/02/2010 at 4:07am - love - by Pr unlucky - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he would do if I were to get pregnant. Expecting him to give me a cute and supportive answer, he replied, "We'd be finding you a nice flight of stairs to accidentally fall down." FML

#13031931
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38178) - you deserved it (12391)

On 09/13/2010 at 5:14am - love - by vikinggirl (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, while working at the bar, I was having a flawless night. Every pour was perfect, every shot expertly measured. I saw my manager for the first time that night, turned to greet him, and knocked over a tray of 30 or so glasses. Two remained unbroken. FML

#11945611
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33351) - you deserved it (4911)

On 07/17/2010 at 4:51pm - work - by barman - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my friends and I finished a 2 day, 40km bush walk. We parked a car at the finish of the track and drove another car to the start, so we could drive back and pick it up when we finished. At the end of the trek, I realised I had left the keys for the second car in the first car. FML

#10881401
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10835) - you deserved it (31375)

On 05/31/2010 at 7:59am - misc - by frgn8r (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of five months is pregnant. Apparently, she stopped taking her pill two months ago because "we" wanted a baby. I don't recall ever having that discussion with her. FML

#10857993
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43237) - you deserved it (8956)

On 05/30/2010 at 4:05am - kids - by BabyDaddy (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my sister decided to wake me up by pumping handwash into my open mouth. FML

#10540841
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28692) - you deserved it (3074)

On 05/15/2010 at 2:27am - misc - by sheridan.ashley (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I got dumped because I was on my period. Apparently he was pissed because I have one "like, every single month." FML

Today, I was listening to a client's heartbeat with a stethoscope, when I noticed one of my hairs had fallen on her chest. I tried to brush it off, but it didn't move, so I went to pick it up with my fingers. That's when I found it it wasn't my hair, it was hers... and it was still attached. FML

#8900483
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22735) - you deserved it (5302)

On 03/07/2010 at 7:44pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I woke up on a friend's floor with a massive hangover after her party last night. My friend, who was next to me, barfed all over me. She then told me that while I was drunk last night, I made out with her dog as well as two of our other friend's boyfriends. FML

#8862366
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6259) - you deserved it (35226)

On 03/06/2010 at 2:38am - animals - by drunk (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I found out that the man who sold me my car 6 months ago lied about it being "recently serviced" and "in excellent condition". It actually hasn't been serviced in years, and fixing all its problems is going to cost me $900 more than what I paid for the car. FML

#8820381
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9307) - you deserved it (25292)

On 03/04/2010 at 9:09am - money - by rippedoff (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I woke up with a cordless drill on my bed. The one I lent my neighbour last week. FML

#7606861
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26422) - you deserved it (2184)

On 01/27/2010 at 2:41am - misc - by Brummsta (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I learned that removing your boyfriends boxers with your teeth is waaaay less sexy when you accidentally bite a chunk of his pubes and yank them out in the process. FML

#7585326
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7867) - you deserved it (22674)

On 01/26/2010 at 3:59am - intimacy - by sexyfail (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend isn't gay. Apparently, I just give good head. FML

#7538814
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24535) - you deserved it (6588)

On 01/24/2010 at 3:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)



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