FMLs submitted from Western Australia

Today, in a drunken, depressed state I thought I heard my deceased mother trying to make contact with me from beyond the grave. It took me a moment to realise that the soft voice was from the music my neighbours were playing. FML

by hearingthings / 06/25/2012 at 10:59pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was using a public toilet when someone entered the stall next to mine. Instead of using the facilities, the person in there reached under the stall to steal my bag. Fortunately, I was holding the strap so they couldn't take it. Unfortunately, they decided to take my right shoe instead. FML

by fordneagles / 06/11/2012 at 1:56am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, whilst working in a pharmacy, I was given the pleasure of listening to an old lady share the details of what she sticks up her vagina. FML

by uni life / 05/15/2012 at 4:08am / Australia (Western Australia) / Intimacy

Today, my fiancé's mother tried to arrange a marriage for him to a nice Indian girl, again. We've been engaged for a year, and the wedding is in a month. FML

by Beth / 04/13/2012 at 10:12am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love

Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML

by Baustigt / 04/10/2012 at 6:48am / Australia (Western Australia) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, it's my 30th birthday. I was having a great night until I overheard my mother say, "I can't believe that thing made it to 30." FML

by psychoticbiatch / 04/08/2012 at 9:58am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had to call the Australian Passport office to track my passport. Turns out they lost it in the mail. A week ago, I got my dream job as a flight attendant. Without a passport they won't accept me. I lost my dream job before I even started it. FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2012 at 3:51am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work

Today, I offered an elderly man my seat on the train. He thanked me by winking and offering me a seat on his lap. FML

by Anonymous / 04/01/2012 at 9:53am / Australia (Western Australia) / Transportation

Today, I woke up to what sounded like twigs snapping. Turns out it was the skull of a live mouse being crushed in my cat's jaws. FML

by Anonymous / 03/30/2012 at 3:45am / Australia (Western Australia) / Animals

Today, I learned that an inspired gardening spree is not as fulfilling as some would have us believe. One punctured hand, cactussed foot and bruised ankle later, I'm beginning to regret waking up this morning and thinking, "What the hell, I'll nuke the shit out of some weeds." FML

by Baustigt / 03/28/2012 at 7:19am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I realised being the only female engineering student sucks. I have exactly one friend, because everyone else is too busy staring at my boobs to have a conversation. FML

by Anonymous / 03/27/2012 at 11:54am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work

Today, I was speaking to an old friend and I asked her how her mother was. She replied, "She passed away, you came to her funeral last month." FML

by elizabethyeo / 02/20/2012 at 5:01am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm on a medication that really dehydrates my skin. I thought split lips were the worst side effects. Other split orifices make a trip to the toilet a literal pain in the arse. No sign of stopping in the near future. FML

by ouch / 12/20/2011 at 7:46am / Australia (Western Australia) / Health