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FMLs submitted from Western Australia

Today, I came home to find a window broken and my neighbours searching inside my house. Apparently, they'd heard a small child asking for help inside my house. I recently taught my dog to "talk." FML

#17477307
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24783) - you deserved it (5116)

On 08/15/2011 at 2:23am - animals - by Mumbling Mutt101 (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I met my boyfriend's sophisticated grandparents. I politely introduced myself. The first words to come out of his granny's mouth were, "If something happens to him, you won't get a f*cking cent of the insurance money, you hear?" FML

#17019380
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30767) - you deserved it (2438)

On 07/07/2011 at 8:58pm - love - by Jessica - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I got home to three boys riding bikes out in front of my house, smiling at me. I instantly thought they were checking me out, so I smiled sweetly at them. Turns out they were flaunting the fact that they just stole all 3 of our bikes. FML

#16997408
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27151) - you deserved it (9976)

On 07/06/2011 at 4:33am - misc - by Emily - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to pick my nose. FML

#16896925
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28857) - you deserved it (4679)

On 06/28/2011 at 12:10pm - misc - by Qwerty - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, after a weekend of helping my sister-in-law move out of our house, vacuuming and mopping her bedroom and bathroom for her, scrubbing her walls and cleaning her shower, transporting her furniture and getting her carpet professionally cleaned, to cover costs she offered me $14. FML

#16871264
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27310) - you deserved it (4495)

On 06/26/2011 at 9:14pm - money - by Mad - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was walking through town when a rough looking woman asked me for a cigarette. I don't smoke but I offered her some apples, and she took two. As I continued on past her, she pegged both of them at me, hitting the back of my head. FML

#16413890
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32894) - you deserved it (10168)

On 05/30/2011 at 4:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I went to work despite having a nasty cold. I didn't call up sick because last week when I called in, my boss said I was being "unprofessional and unacceptable." My boss sent me home with a written warning today, claiming that coming to work sick was "unprofessional and unacceptable." FML

#15431401
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34195) - you deserved it (3155)

On 03/22/2011 at 12:59pm - work - by SickandTired (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, while bored at work I was reading an article online about the local zoo and its animals. I received an email so quickly responded, but when signing off accidentally wrote "thanks hippo" instead of "thanks heaps". To a woman with a weight problem. Who also outranks me. FML

#15193678
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11414) - you deserved it (19236)

On 03/04/2011 at 2:13am - work - by sharni88 (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I took a busy train into the city. I was lucky enough to get a seat. People were forced to stand in the aisle in front of me, and the person directly opposite me, whose butt was level with my head farted in my face. Twice. FML

#15112625
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26634) - you deserved it (3665)

On 02/25/2011 at 8:25am - misc - by WhatsThatSmell (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was in science class studying dead insects for biology. After packing away the jars, I noticed a red-back spider on the bench. Thinking it was missing from a jar, I picked it up. It wasn't missing. It was alive. FML

#15013181
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26312) - you deserved it (4380)

On 02/17/2011 at 5:39am - animals - by shaunaaa (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I finally found out whether or not my boyfriend is cheating on me. Turns out he isn't. He is cheating on his wife, with me. FML

#14904173
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42560) - you deserved it (5526)

On 02/09/2011 at 12:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I wrote a mental note: don't tell a couple of nuns that you used black magic to fix their computer. Then don't tell the story to your boss just as the nuns walk back in again. Then don't say "speak of the devil" to them. FML

#14647834
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8890) - you deserved it (30529)

On 01/20/2011 at 5:55am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, while having sex on the couch with my single neighbour, a beam in the couch broke. Not even slightly fazed, she said, "It's okay, my husband can fix it." Husband? FML

#14059458
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26656) - you deserved it (6212)

On 12/02/2010 at 12:02pm - intimacy - by nickyboy (man) - Australia (Western Australia)



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