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FMLs submitted from Western Australia

Today, I offered an elderly man my seat on the train. He thanked me by winking and offering me a seat on his lap. FML

#19387576
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21505) - you deserved it (2947)

On 04/01/2012 at 9:53am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I woke up to what sounded like twigs snapping. Turns out it was the skull of a live mouse being crushed in my cat's jaws. FML

#19374662
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21128) - you deserved it (2242)

On 03/30/2012 at 3:45am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I learned that an inspired gardening spree is not as fulfilling as some would have us believe. One punctured hand, cactussed foot and bruised ankle later, I'm beginning to regret waking up this morning and thinking, "What the hell, I'll nuke the shit out of some weeds." FML

Today, I realised being the only female engineering student sucks. I have exactly one friend, because everyone else is too busy staring at my boobs to have a conversation. FML

#19357062
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25242) - you deserved it (4312)

On 03/27/2012 at 11:54am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was speaking to an old friend and I asked her how her mother was. She replied, "She passed away, you came to her funeral last month." FML

#19121013
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8568) - you deserved it (40968)

On 02/20/2012 at 5:01am - misc - by elizabethyeo - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I'm on a medication that really dehydrates my skin. I thought split lips were the worst side effects. Other split orifices make a trip to the toilet a literal pain in the arse. No sign of stopping in the near future. FML

#18560228
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22584) - you deserved it (2018)

On 12/20/2011 at 7:46am - health - by ouch (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my brother and I proposed to our girlfriends at the same time. We had perfect synchronization after practicing for days. My brother's girlfriend said yes, mine said no. FML

#18552373
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49407) - you deserved it (4824)

On 12/19/2011 at 10:40am - love - by emmmbo - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was set up on a blind date. When I arrived, the person waiting for me was a woman. It appears that my friends have always thought I was a lesbian, and that they 'played along' when I talked about guys. FML

#18466440
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31558) - you deserved it (2780)

On 12/09/2011 at 2:56am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I came home after a short trip. Walking through the door, an overpowering smell indicated that in my rush to leave I'd forgotten to bring the cat litter tray indoors. The place was covered in cat urine. It was as if I'd created a cycling ecosystem of evaporated urine turning into urine rain-clouds. FML

#18144620
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10739) - you deserved it (25507)

On 11/03/2011 at 1:18am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I let a guy I like look at my phone. A second later I remembered I had a secret copy of his Facebook profile picture on there to show a friend what he looked like. I was forced to tackle him to get my phone back. FML

#17940122
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11312) - you deserved it (36143)

On 10/09/2011 at 1:17am - love - by Emily S - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my Dad's banjo arrived, as part of his mid-life crisis. It would be fine if he could play it but unfortunately he's tone deaf. He hasn't stopped playing it for the last 4 hours. FML

#17927244
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22737) - you deserved it (2263)

On 10/07/2011 at 11:09am - misc - by anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, after being cut out of the car, on the way to hospital in the ambulance, we were involved in another accident. FML

#17736251
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34020) - you deserved it (1979)

On 09/13/2011 at 1:07pm - health - by skitzobiatch69 - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I started my first day working at a toddler day care center. At one point I decided to play "got your nose" with one of the kids. It turns out this kid has a physical birth abnormality on his face. I got his nose... his prosthetic nose. FML

#17629318
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41409) - you deserved it (11609)

On 08/31/2011 at 12:04pm - kids - by MJjunior (man) - Australia (Western Australia)



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