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FMLs submitted from Western Australia

Today, I'm on a medication that really dehydrates my skin. I thought split lips were the worst side effects. Other split orifices make a trip to the toilet a literal pain in the arse. No sign of stopping in the near future. FML

#18560228
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22482) - you deserved it (2012)

On 12/20/2011 at 7:46am - health - by ouch (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my brother and I proposed to our girlfriends at the same time. We had perfect synchronization after practicing for days. My brother's girlfriend said yes, mine said no. FML

#18552373
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49248) - you deserved it (4819)

On 12/19/2011 at 10:40am - love - by emmmbo - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was set up on a blind date. When I arrived, the person waiting for me was a woman. It appears that my friends have always thought I was a lesbian, and that they 'played along' when I talked about guys. FML

#18466440
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31423) - you deserved it (2767)

On 12/09/2011 at 2:56am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I came home after a short trip. Walking through the door, an overpowering smell indicated that in my rush to leave I'd forgotten to bring the cat litter tray indoors. The place was covered in cat urine. It was as if I'd created a cycling ecosystem of evaporated urine turning into urine rain-clouds. FML

#18144620
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10362) - you deserved it (24891)

On 11/03/2011 at 1:18am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I let a guy I like look at my phone. A second later I remembered I had a secret copy of his Facebook profile picture on there to show a friend what he looked like. I was forced to tackle him to get my phone back. FML

#17940122
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10917) - you deserved it (35328)

On 10/09/2011 at 1:17am - love - by Emily S - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my Dad's banjo arrived, as part of his mid-life crisis. It would be fine if he could play it but unfortunately he's tone deaf. He hasn't stopped playing it for the last 4 hours. FML

#17927244
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22622) - you deserved it (2252)

On 10/07/2011 at 11:09am - misc - by anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, after being cut out of the car, on the way to hospital in the ambulance, we were involved in another accident. FML

#17736251
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33903) - you deserved it (1974)

On 09/13/2011 at 1:07pm - health - by skitzobiatch69 - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I started my first day working at a toddler day care center. At one point I decided to play "got your nose" with one of the kids. It turns out this kid has a physical birth abnormality on his face. I got his nose... his prosthetic nose. FML

#17629318
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41249) - you deserved it (11581)

On 08/31/2011 at 12:04pm - kids - by MJjunior (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was stuck in a room with a man who was catching flies. That I could cope with, until he insisted on turning the lights out because it was 'stressing out' his flies. FML

#17546019
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20730) - you deserved it (2010)

On 08/22/2011 at 7:04am - work - by anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I came home to find a window broken and my neighbours searching inside my house. Apparently, they'd heard a small child asking for help inside my house. I recently taught my dog to "talk." FML

#17477307
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25854) - you deserved it (5234)

On 08/15/2011 at 2:23am - animals - by Mumbling Mutt101 (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I met my boyfriend's sophisticated grandparents. I politely introduced myself. The first words to come out of his granny's mouth were, "If something happens to him, you won't get a f*cking cent of the insurance money, you hear?" FML

#17019380
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33745) - you deserved it (2688)

On 07/07/2011 at 8:58pm - love - by Jessica - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I got home to three boys riding bikes out in front of my house, smiling at me. I instantly thought they were checking me out, so I smiled sweetly at them. Turns out they were flaunting the fact that they just stole all 3 of our bikes. FML

#16997408
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29441) - you deserved it (10501)

On 07/06/2011 at 4:33am - misc - by Emily - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to pick my nose. FML

#16896925
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29819) - you deserved it (4766)

On 06/28/2011 at 12:10pm - misc - by Qwerty - Australia (Western Australia)



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