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FMLs submitted from Western Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered "cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML

#20145795
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33418) - you deserved it (3518)

On 11/03/2012 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was writing out palm cards and didn't know if I'd spelled a word correctly, so I stared at it for about 10 seconds waiting for spell check to tell me if it was right or not before I realised I was writing on paper. FML

#20135256
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6084) - you deserved it (29303)

On 10/27/2012 at 8:43am - misc - by katier8295 (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boyfriend and I went on a romantic date to a botanical garden in the hills. A giant bushfire erupted in the hills on our way, meaning we're now stuck out here because the roads are closed. So romantic. FML

#20132703
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15844) - you deserved it (2024)

On 10/25/2012 at 12:27pm - love - by not even a sexy bushfire - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, there was a horrible smell in my kitchen. I tried to find the source, but failed and had to leave for the day. That night, my brother informed me that the smell was coming from a dead mouse stuck in our toaster. FML

#20131308
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20384) - you deserved it (1715)

On 10/24/2012 at 1:35pm - animals - by 12693 - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I completely shaved my head as a gesture for my boyfriend's mother, who was suffering from cancer and having a terrible time undergoing chemotherapy. Turns out she doesn't even have cancer, and my boyfriend thought I wouldn't have the guts to do it. FML

#20110360
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32340) - you deserved it (4766)

On 10/10/2012 at 11:05am - misc - by horriblejoke (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was sitting on a rather small, uncomfortable bean bag while my friend was sitting on a nice chair. She asked if I wanted to switch seats, not so I could be more comfortable, but because she thought I was too fat and that I would burst the bean bag. FML

#20105161
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17291) - you deserved it (4402)

On 10/07/2012 at 1:03am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, thanks to a new form of birth control, I've now been having my period non-stop for six weeks. FML

#20022564
344 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35855) - you deserved it (3965)

On 08/15/2012 at 1:08pm - health - by theflow (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, while cooking, I managed to burn my finger. I quickly turned the tap on and ran my finger under cold water, but apparently someone had just used the hot tap, because boiling water flooded out onto my nicely scalded finger. FML

#20017932
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19962) - you deserved it (2651)

On 08/13/2012 at 12:43am - misc - by burnt (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, in a drunken, depressed state I thought I heard my deceased mother trying to make contact with me from beyond the grave. It took me a moment to realise that the soft voice was from the music my neighbours were playing. FML

#19847673
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17272) - you deserved it (5609)

On 06/25/2012 at 10:59pm - misc - by hearingthings (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was using a public toilet when someone entered the stall next to mine. Instead of using the facilities, the person in there reached under the stall to steal my bag. Fortunately, I was holding the strap so they couldn't take it. Unfortunately, they decided to take my right shoe instead. FML

Today, whilst working in a pharmacy, I was given the pleasure of listening to an old lady share the details of what she sticks up her vagina. FML

#19626087
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25417) - you deserved it (2352)

On 05/15/2012 at 4:08am - intimacy - by uni life (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my fiancé's mother tried to arrange a marriage for him to a nice Indian girl, again. We've been engaged for a year, and the wedding is in a month. FML

#19460687
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26485) - you deserved it (1922)

On 04/13/2012 at 10:12am - love - by Beth (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML



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