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FMLs submitted from Western Australia

Today, I stuck one of those "kick me" signs on my friend's back for fun, and someone took the invitation. Unfortunately, my friend whirled around and beat the shit out of him. I managed to sneak the sign off his back, but now I feel like a total asshole. FML

#21243070
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18687) - you deserved it (43067)

On 08/22/2014 at 10:35am - misc - by oops (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I began to sign "I love you" to my boyfriend from across the room. I ended up just poking myself in the eye. FML

#21238728
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32309) - you deserved it (8815)

On 08/16/2014 at 2:20am - love - by Hopeless romantic (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I proposed to the love of my life by having the waitress place the ring in her dessert. She ate the whole thing and didn't find the ring. I guess the waitress stole the ring. FML

#21233475
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42564) - you deserved it (5573)

On 08/09/2014 at 7:03pm - love - by jakethemuss - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, while I was working customer support, a lady hung up on me mid-sentence, and I trailed off, saying "…aaannnddd you hung up on me like a bitch." Turned out she was still on the line and had just accidentally hit mute. FML

#21232769
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23388) - you deserved it (35913)

On 08/08/2014 at 8:16pm - work - by suspended (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, as a last resort for my back problems, I tried acupuncture. After the needles were placed and the doctor had left, I couldn't move for 30 minutes. I had a panic attack. FML

#21232393
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35093) - you deserved it (4250)

On 08/08/2014 at 8:26am - health - by screwed - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49012) - you deserved it (21193)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, as I was picking up my 5-year-old brother from school, he hugged a girl from his class to say goodbye. His classmate's mom and I looked at each other, thinking it was adorable, until my brother decided to dry hump the side of his classmate's thigh. FML

Today, my daughter asked me how long she had to put her 2-minute noodles in the microwave for. FML

#21193510
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40828) - you deserved it (6889)

On 06/30/2014 at 7:40am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, artwork that I had been working on for months was destroyed, leaving me almost in tears. The culprit? A lonely pigeon who'd got into the room and shat all over it. FML

#21173111
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38564) - you deserved it (4536)

On 06/13/2014 at 6:45am - animals - by rc2981 - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, at the café I work at, I was yelled at by a woman because the drinks and food she ordered were "taking too long". Before I had the chance to get a word in, she stormed out and said she would never come back. I didn't get the chance to inform her that she hadn't ordered yet. FML

#21106207
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43074) - you deserved it (3174)

On 04/06/2014 at 8:20pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was watching last week's episode of The Walking Dead with my girlfriend. When the gang leader explained the rules of the group to Daryl, I reached over, grabbed my girlfriend's boobs and yelled, "Claimed!" She shot back, "Yeah, they are. But not by you." FML

#21099560
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41226) - you deserved it (17764)

On 03/29/2014 at 5:57pm - love - by the other guy? (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm bisexual. He dumped me because apparently now there is "too much competition". FML

#21081103
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42395) - you deserved it (12612)

On 03/08/2014 at 4:23am - love - by biwhat (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I dyed my hair. And my forehead. And my ears. And my arms. And my hands. FML



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