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FMLs submitted from Western Australia

Today, as I was picking up my 5-year-old brother from school, he hugged a girl from his class to say goodbye. His classmate's mom and I looked at each other, thinking it was adorable, until my brother decided to dry hump the side of his classmate's thigh. FML

Today, my daughter asked me how long she had to put her 2-minute noodles in the microwave for. FML

#21193510
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40596) - you deserved it (6869)

On 06/30/2014 at 7:40am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, artwork that I had been working on for months was destroyed, leaving me almost in tears. The culprit? A lonely pigeon who'd got into the room and shat all over it. FML

#21173111
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38490) - you deserved it (4528)

On 06/13/2014 at 6:45am - animals - by rc2981 - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, at the café I work at, I was yelled at by a woman because the drinks and food she ordered were "taking too long". Before I had the chance to get a word in, she stormed out and said she would never come back. I didn't get the chance to inform her that she hadn't ordered yet. FML

#21106207
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42910) - you deserved it (3163)

On 04/06/2014 at 8:20pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was watching last week's episode of The Walking Dead with my girlfriend. When the gang leader explained the rules of the group to Daryl, I reached over, grabbed my girlfriend's boobs and yelled, "Claimed!" She shot back, "Yeah, they are. But not by you." FML

#21099560
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41148) - you deserved it (17740)

On 03/29/2014 at 5:57pm - love - by the other guy? (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm bisexual. He dumped me because apparently now there is "too much competition". FML

#21081103
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42324) - you deserved it (12595)

On 03/08/2014 at 4:23am - love - by biwhat (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I dyed my hair. And my forehead. And my ears. And my arms. And my hands. FML

Today, I got accused of trying to steal clothes because I was taking so long in the fitting rooms with only a couple of items. I got stuck in one of the shirts I was trying on. FML

Today, a woman screamed at me for five minutes, demanding to know how long I'd been having an affair with her husband. I explained for the second time that she'd dialed a wrong number. FML

#20861161
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38771) - you deserved it (2335)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:30am - misc - by Tag (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, someone on Facebook posted a really tiny picture that I couldn't read properly, so I responded, "What is this? A picture for ants?!" Turns out it was a commentary about rape, and now I look like an insensitive jackass. FML

#20849199
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38842) - you deserved it (12311)

On 08/22/2013 at 10:48am - misc - by Baustigt - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my girlfriend's dad pulled out the chocolate flavoured condom that went missing under the couch. FML

#20819772
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41120) - you deserved it (17963)

On 08/04/2013 at 1:36am - intimacy - by Anon - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I attended an elderly patient's funeral. He died of a heart attack after his daughter, as his carer, stopped all of his meds in favour of a half-cup of garlic a day. Apparently she'd "read an article" about the healing power of garlic, which trumped my 6-year degree. FML

#20804217
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48054) - you deserved it (2557)

On 07/26/2013 at 3:58am - health - by Saddoc (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, It was my fiancé's 21st birthday party. It ended with him too drunk to walk and wailing about how much he misses an ex girlfriend of his that he dumped 4 years ago. FML

#20753850
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44899) - you deserved it (4508)

On 06/29/2013 at 4:02am - love - by bubblegum92 - Australia (Western Australia)



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