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FMLs submitted from Western Australia

Today, I was waiting at a traffic light next to an ice cream van. The man in it turned to me and winked, making sexual hand gestures. I felt my childhood die horribly as I watched. FML

#21284616
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30873) - you deserved it (2385)

On 10/24/2014 at 8:30pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my friends and I went paintballing. The instructor showed us the sound of an unloaded gun by shooting at my face. It wasn't unloaded. FML

#21277056
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44210) - you deserved it (2956)

On 10/13/2014 at 5:33pm - health - by clumsylobster - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I chatted to a nice guy and gave him my number. I told him I was going to sleep because I had a headache, and then put my phone on silent. He rang multiple times, and when I obviously didn't pick up, he sent several texts insulting me and calling me gutless for not responding. FML

#21255032
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34459) - you deserved it (3322)

On 09/09/2014 at 12:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was told by my teacher that she had 'given up' teaching me because someone had told her I have a mental illness, and that I don't understand what she says. FML

#21254331
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37820) - you deserved it (3330)

On 09/08/2014 at 6:55am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I stuck one of those "kick me" signs on my friend's back for fun, and someone took the invitation. Unfortunately, my friend whirled around and beat the shit out of him. I managed to sneak the sign off his back, but now I feel like a total asshole. FML

#21243070
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19045) - you deserved it (44517)

On 08/22/2014 at 10:35am - misc - by oops (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I began to sign "I love you" to my boyfriend from across the room. I ended up just poking myself in the eye. FML

#21238728
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32688) - you deserved it (7993)

On 08/16/2014 at 2:20am - love - by Hopeless romantic (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I proposed to the love of my life by having the waitress place the ring in her dessert. She ate the whole thing and didn't find the ring. I guess the waitress stole the ring. FML

#21233475
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43014) - you deserved it (5595)

On 08/09/2014 at 7:03pm - love - by jakethemuss - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, while I was working customer support, a lady hung up on me mid-sentence, and I trailed off, saying "…aaannnddd you hung up on me like a bitch." Turned out she was still on the line and had just accidentally hit mute. FML

#21232769
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23466) - you deserved it (36064)

On 08/08/2014 at 8:16pm - work - by suspended (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, as a last resort for my back problems, I tried acupuncture. After the needles were placed and the doctor had left, I couldn't move for 30 minutes. I had a panic attack. FML

#21232393
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35228) - you deserved it (4262)

On 08/08/2014 at 8:26am - health - by screwed - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49133) - you deserved it (21240)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, as I was picking up my 5-year-old brother from school, he hugged a girl from his class to say goodbye. His classmate's mom and I looked at each other, thinking it was adorable, until my brother decided to dry hump the side of his classmate's thigh. FML

Today, my daughter asked me how long she had to put her 2-minute noodles in the microwave for. FML

#21193510
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40911) - you deserved it (6899)

On 06/30/2014 at 7:40am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, artwork that I had been working on for months was destroyed, leaving me almost in tears. The culprit? A lonely pigeon who'd got into the room and shat all over it. FML

#21173111
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39625) - you deserved it (4613)

On 06/13/2014 at 6:45am - animals - by rc2981 - Australia (Western Australia)



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