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FMLs submitted from West Virginia

Today, my kitten made it snow inside my house using a 12-pack of toilet paper. FML

#20495653
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24612) - you deserved it (4811)

On 02/06/2013 at 1:00pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I finished booking the non-refundable cruise for my wife and I to the Bahamas. I did this after confirming once again that my mother could take care of our son while we're away. An hour after I paid, she called back saying she mistook the dates and can't do it anymore. FML

#20494492
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30004) - you deserved it (2352)

On 02/05/2013 at 2:35pm - misc - by vacationless - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I found out that storing a partially empty bowl of ice cream in the freezer overnight along with the spoon, and then trying to take a bite the next day, can have the same effect as sticking your tongue on a flagpole in the middle of winter. FML

#20195063
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5931) - you deserved it (26518)

On 12/07/2012 at 12:06pm - misc - by Moose (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, while on the bus, I took out my breath spray. The elderly lady beside me thought it was pepper spray. She panicked and started screaming, which culminated in the man near her punching me in the jaw. FML

#20037445
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21800) - you deserved it (1626)

On 08/23/2012 at 12:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a serious conversation about our future. Somehow it turned into a 10-minute discussion about what time of day we usually take a crap. FML

#19440866
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19425) - you deserved it (5121)

On 04/10/2012 at 12:41am - love - by kellie1115 - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I went to a great concert. Against all odds, I got to meet the band. All I had for them to autograph was a flyer protesting their concert that was given to me on the way in. FML

#18732471
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24393) - you deserved it (5001)

On 01/07/2012 at 1:48am - misc - by elijahrobrt - United States (West Virginia)

Today, it finally became clear to me that before you start dating a co-worker, it's best to figure out who they've already dated from work, just in case one of her exes is your new manager. FML

#18680064
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22048) - you deserved it (6782)

On 01/01/2012 at 10:38pm - work - by Scorned Employee (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I broke my right leg. I've had one shot of morphine, and even that only relieved the pain a little. It's now totally worn off and I have yet to get pain medication of any kind. My leg has been broken for over nine hours now. FML

#17592683
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27364) - you deserved it (3747)

On 08/27/2011 at 4:12am - health - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was in a pool locker room, surrounded by semi-naked people. While changing into my clothes, I accidentally pushed a button on my phone, causing it to make the loud, unmistakable camera shutter sound effect. Everyone definitely heard it. FML

#17217334
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33570) - you deserved it (4933)

On 07/22/2011 at 1:36pm - misc - by Roode (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex in the janitor's closet of the pet store where I work. We were really getting into it when we were rudely interrupted by dozens of salamanders crawling up our legs. I had forgotten to lock the cage before we started. FML

#16980520
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10100) - you deserved it (68138)

On 07/05/2011 at 12:32am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend asked me how women could urinate with a tampon in. FML

#16042131
474 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43345) - you deserved it (7704)

On 05/04/2011 at 7:51am - intimacy - by woah (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was at Aéropostale with some friends when I noticed a woman glaring at me. When we got to the checkout, the woman still had her eyes on me, so I asked why she was staring. She snapped, "If you had kept your legs closed, you wouldn't be pregnant." I'm not pregnant. FML

#15284565
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42675) - you deserved it (5632)

On 03/12/2011 at 4:11pm - misc - by vlcardenx3 (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I came home to find a note on my door. I thought it was from my elderly disabled neighbors thanking me for cleaning off their snow covered car, since about 6 inches came down. It was from them, only it said I owed them for damages to their car. Damages that were already there. FML

#14738891
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28678) - you deserved it (3190)

On 01/28/2011 at 12:24am - misc - by kittyd (woman) - United States (West Virginia)



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