Today, I discovered that my boss listens to the things we say about him on the audio-enabled cameras at our work. I'm thus currently jobless. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3196) - you totally deserved it (11431)
On 11/20/2009 at 8:56am - work - by HellaBomber91 (man) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I spilled a half bottle of superglue on my hands. I also found out that cold water only makes it harden faster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17243) - you totally deserved it (8335)
On 10/18/2009 at 12:38pm - misc - by Xia (man) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I went in my room to play my guitar. I found my Les Paul on the floor with all the strings missing. I later found out my grandma cut them off because I was playing "Devil's Music." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29108) - you totally deserved it (1722)
On 10/11/2009 at 1:21pm - misc - by cbarebo (man) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I found out that my new neighbor who moved in 2 weeks ago has been dead in his apartment for the past 5 days. I've been making jokes to the other people in building that he could die and no one would know about it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8794) - you totally deserved it (21454)
On 10/09/2009 at 12:41pm - misc - by smithj10 - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I realized that I broke up with a man that loved me and was great in bed but was afraid of commitment, to be with a man that loves me, that is great in bed, and wants to be with me forever. So what's the problem? Now that we are committed, he won't get it on with me anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2087) - you totally deserved it (5792)
On 10/08/2009 at 11:29am - intimacy - by OnlyMe (woman) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I got a promotion to management at work. My employer decided to give the 'non-management' employees a really nice raise. Which means the job I had before my promotion is now paying more than the job I have now. Did I just get demoted? FML
I agree, your life sucks (27452) - you totally deserved it (1058)
On 09/13/2009 at 2:12am - work - by ofcourse (woman) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I had a long, meaningful telephone conversation. After hanging up, I realized I hadn't had such a great conversation in a long time. Who was it with? The Dell Customer Support guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23121) - you totally deserved it (3213)
On 09/06/2009 at 1:27pm - misc - by asdfjkl (woman) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, after my partner of two years broke up with me, I decided to have a heart to heart with my mother about it. Her advice was to clean the house. I asked how that would make me feel better. She said that she wasn't sure, but at least the house would be clean. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15838) - you totally deserved it (2223)
On 08/22/2009 at 8:43pm - love - by Loveless (man) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, my parents came to the restaurant I work at as a waiter. After, I picked up the check to realize they had left me a $500 tip! We split the tips among the employees so I only got $50 back but I was still psyched. When I got home they asked me if I had noticed that they used my credit card. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40084) - you totally deserved it (3668)
On 08/07/2009 at 11:23am - money - by goin4broke (man) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, my father taught my son to pee on trees outside. We went to the mall later and my son decided to practice what he'd learned on a potted plant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27244) - you totally deserved it (3613)
On 08/01/2009 at 2:35am - kids - by jcesom (woman) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I showed by ID to get into a bar and the bouncer kept it because he said it wasn't me. It was. Apparently I've gained so much weight I am unrecognizable. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25761) - you totally deserved it (8822)
On 07/29/2009 at 1:53am - misc - by jcesom - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat. After close inspection I realized it was a plastic kite string he partially digested. I had to pull the other three feet of plastic kite tail from his rectum. He purred the entire time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38604) - you totally deserved it (2011)
On 07/03/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by RachelDC (woman) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I was showing my unique new tattoo to my friends when a man approaches me with his digital camera and asks if he could take a picture of the tattoo for his website. I agreed. I find out later that it's a site about ugly tattoos. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8404) - you totally deserved it (24922)
On 06/19/2009 at 6:48pm - misc - by popemichael (man) - United States (West Virginia)
