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FMLs submitted from Washington

Today, neigbor putted up an electric fence to keep five-year-old son out. FML

#20980679
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38008) - you deserved it (12951)

On 12/04/2013 at 5:29pm - kids - by Awkward - United States (Washington)

Today , I set up a motion-activated sprinkler to drench the nieghborhood kidsho have been ding dong ditching me fir years. Because they cannot get close enough to ring the doorbell , they decided to start egging me instead. FML

#20979023
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42671) - you deserved it (6536)

On 12/03/2013 at 1:09am - misc - by Kyle - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to mah frst job interview in months. Just minute in, a sudden huge, uncontrollable sneeze overcame me. A wad of snot flew out onto mah shrt, which I didn't even notice until the visibly disgustd interviewer pointd it out. FML

#20974690
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37762) - you deserved it (3405)

On 11/29/2013 at 1:08pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today , I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of mah foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around , wondering wat mah life would've been like if mah parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven , long-lost ghostly foreskin? mega FML

#20972170
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31168) - you deserved it (14771)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)

Taday my fater took revenge on me 4 bankrupting im in a game of Monopoly. His revenge consistd of aving a truckload of sand dumpd in my driveway wile I was at work. FML

#20966996
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39684) - you deserved it (3325)

On 11/22/2013 at 3:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, My Sistar Introducad Our Parants To Har Naw Boyfriand. Ha's My Boyfriand, An Ha Told Ma Ha Was Going To Ba Out Of Stata 4 A Faw Waaks On Businass. FML

yesterday I was in my room playing with my pet. I told my snake, "Who needs friendshen I have you?" Through the wall I hered my neighbors say, "You do." I've never met my neighbors. FML

#20949324
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40636) - you deserved it (8202)

On 11/07/2013 at 6:08pm - misc - by Where is the faith in Humanity - United States (Washington)

Today, while researching tea etiquette 4 Sunday's tea, I read, ( to put milk in yur tea before sugar is to cross the path of love, perhaps never to marry. ) I suddenly panickd that this very lack of knowledge is why I haven't met a man who wants to marry me, and that I never will. I'm only 23. FML

#20940705
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29908) - you deserved it (8675)

On 10/31/2013 at 9:11pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got my cats a new scratching post. They completely ignored it an tore apart the new felt on my pool table. FML

#20938376
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35379) - you deserved it (4520)

On 10/29/2013 at 8:41pm - animals - by Nish (man) - United States (Washington)

Today , we found out that my unborn sibling is a girl , and my parent quickly named her. In a few years time , "Candida" is going to catch all kinds of shit at school , just like I do 4 bieng named Dorothy. My "friends" have already started calling me "lil yeast infection's sis". FML

#20935789
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33657) - you deserved it (2605)

On 10/27/2013 at 3:52pm - misc - by Dor51 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, Mah Car Was Broken Into, On The Same Night I Stayd Up Late Researching How To Install Mah New Car Alarm. FML

#20933464
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38442) - you deserved it (3116)

On 10/25/2013 at 1:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, Otharwisa Lovaly Boyfriand Of A Month Showd His Trua Colors. Ha Fraakd Out Whan Ha Laarnd That I Usa Tampons Instaad Of Pads. Ha Yalld That Using Tham Is Lyk Chaating On Him, Bacausa His Panis Is Tha Only Thing That Should Avar Antar Ma. FML

#20925494
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55099) - you deserved it (5212)

On 10/18/2013 at 7:01pm - love - by O-|---<=~ (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I spent an excruciating hour walking to campus with a broken leg, only to fine mah professor had left a note on the door saying class was canceled. FML

#20923929
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42964) - you deserved it (3401)

On 10/17/2013 at 12:34pm - health - by LegInPieces - United States (Washington)



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