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FMLs submitted from Washington

Today, I had to endure my girlfriend crying and screaming at me. The reason? I'm not able to please her like the fictional character Christian Grey in 50 Shades of Grey. When she left me, she took all her stuff and left me with copies of the 3 books. FML

#20845941
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40765) - you deserved it (3935)

On 08/20/2013 at 4:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. I told my boyfriend and my close family, who were all ecstatic. Then he told his mother. Her reaction? "It better come out looking like him." FML

Today, it was my birthday. I spent all day in bed, sick with the flu. My boyfriend then broke up with me by text, because he didn't want to risk getting sick by doing it in person. FML

#20838443
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50345) - you deserved it (3002)

On 08/15/2013 at 7:28am - love - by Rachel8896 - United States (Washington)

Today, I called an airline to try to locate a bag I left on a flight. When I told the phone rep which airport I flew into, he asked me what city it was in. He paused after I told him, then asked me what state Seattle is in. I don't think I'll be getting my bag back. FML

#20798415
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38220) - you deserved it (2887)

On 07/22/2013 at 10:18pm - misc - by 1942ford (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was playing solitaire when an achievement popped up on my phone. "You have just completed your 1000th game of solitaire!" Never felt so alone in my life. FML

#20793723
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42084) - you deserved it (6854)

On 07/20/2013 at 4:14am - misc - by solitaire - United States (Washington)

Today, I called a tree removal company to have my diseased elm removed. When I got home from work, I was surprised to find it still there. Not as surprised as my neighbor was to discover that his tree was missing, nor as surprised as his children when they saw there was no more tree-house. FML

#20790198
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52021) - you deserved it (3881)

On 07/18/2013 at 10:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I discovered that my 8-year old is not fully toilet trained when a turd fell out of his pants, shortly after introducing him to his new babysitter. FML

#20787181
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37543) - you deserved it (7804)

On 07/16/2013 at 9:55pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up at my cousin's house after staying the night. I went into the bathroom like I usually do and shut the door. Apparently the door lock on this bathroom doesn't function properly. I discovered this when my 4-year-old cousin walked in on me putting a tampon in. FML

Today while at my job as a store clerk, I walked by a family. I smiled at their little boy, who responded by flipping me off. As I was walking away, I looked back in time to catch his dad give him a high-five. FML

#20761229
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40891) - you deserved it (3146)

On 07/03/2013 at 4:11am - kids - by Nish (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom stole the condoms out of my room and gave them to my little brother because I "won't be needing them anytime soon". FML

#20759724
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41076) - you deserved it (4172)

On 07/02/2013 at 12:17pm - misc - by dry spell (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while working the graveyard shift at my hotel, it felt a little chilly, so I grabbed a blanket out of the box we usually store old blankets in. 20 minutes later, the live-in maintenance man casually remarked that those blankets are all infected with bed-bugs. FML

#20741908
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41374) - you deserved it (6393)

On 06/23/2013 at 12:10am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boss held my hair while I threw up. It's day two on the job. FML

#20738351
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44338) - you deserved it (8178)

On 06/21/2013 at 12:44am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, at a family reunion, my visibly drunk grandparents heard about my new boyfriend, who is a cop. My gran asked if he ever made me feel like Rodney King in the bedroom. Then my grandpa, fresh off a DUI, asked if my boyfriend's dick is as bent as the police force. FML

#20727456
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39819) - you deserved it (3690)

On 06/15/2013 at 1:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)



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