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FMLs submitted from Washington

Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML

#21209203
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42593) - you deserved it (6342)

On 07/14/2014 at 7:48pm - love - by KaiyaOtaku1 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with my child. Not only was she on her period when I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showed me was a fake that she'd bought online. FML

#21205080
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51638) - you deserved it (5109)

On 07/10/2014 at 1:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to explain what "cashback" was to a customer. She called me a liar and wanted to talk to a manager because she felt I made up the concept. I'm the manager. She wouldn't believe me and waited in the store for an hour. Apparently this is what a Masters degree gets me. FML

#21194527
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49083) - you deserved it (4334)

On 07/01/2014 at 12:26am - work - by where do they come from - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend once again cancelled a date because he has too much homework. His professor is my dad, who's assigning astronomical amounts of homework to keep us from seeing each other. FML

#21180214
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58839) - you deserved it (4641)

On 06/19/2014 at 1:28am - love - by professorsdaughter - United States (Washington)

Today, I was walking in the street, and the next thing I know, I'm waking up in a hospital. According to witnesses, a guy came up and hit me over the head with a baseball bat. Apparently that's a thing that happens now. But it's okay, he had an excuse: he said he was drunk. FML

#21168803
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47270) - you deserved it (3489)

On 06/09/2014 at 9:56pm - health - by Harry (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my parents were screaming so loud about who clogged the toilet that a neighbor called the police because they thought someone was in danger. FML

#21152412
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39753) - you deserved it (3630)

On 05/26/2014 at 4:28pm - misc - by dear god why (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I explained to my dad that I had spent over three hours baking, frosting, and decorating a cake from scratch and how proud I was of it. Without even looking up at me, he replied, "You really need a boyfriend." FML

#21149895
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42056) - you deserved it (5010)

On 05/24/2014 at 2:23am - misc - by lifesabitch2016 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, some girl's mom gave me a load of abuse for endangering her daughter's health. How? By deleting my Facebook account, which caused her to have a serious panic attack. Apparently she thought we were best friends, and that I was ditching her. I'm confused too. FML

#21149491
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45230) - you deserved it (3368)

On 05/23/2014 at 6:44pm - misc - by nikaea (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out my neighbor collects body-bags. FML

#21139874
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42054) - you deserved it (3725)

On 05/14/2014 at 5:46pm - misc - by chellegbelle - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend admitted to my best friend that she basically just sees me as a dildo with annoying emotions. FML

#21138864
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53192) - you deserved it (7167)

On 05/13/2014 at 5:31pm - love - by taintedlover (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom invited me over yet again so I could practice my culinary degree by making an exquisite, gourmet meal for her dog; a three year old Pomeranian who pees in my shoes. FML

#21138238
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37553) - you deserved it (4748)

On 05/12/2014 at 10:46pm - animals - by that_culinary_degree_though (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got a birthday package from my parents. It was all the stuff I'd forgotten there when visiting a month ago, along with some other things I'd left behind when I moved out. FML

#21130304
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38250) - you deserved it (5430)

On 05/04/2014 at 6:11am - misc - by chrono19 - United States (Washington)

Today, I was texting a girl I like, explaining how she looks like an attractive celebrity. She responded with a picture of a very unattractive lady and asked if she looked like that. I told her if she had been caught in a burning building, then yes, that would look like her. It was of her mom. FML



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