Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Washington

Today, the priest was handing out red roses after church. The woman ahead of me asked for a rose. The priest said, "Sorry, we are only giving them out to single women since they didn't get any for Valentine's Day." Then he hands one to me. This was the first time I have been to that church. FML

#62419
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37189) - you deserved it (3775)

On 02/17/2009 at 6:44pm - love - by KC (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I auditioned for the musical at my school. Before I sang my song, I gave my music to the director. She said "Oh, I love this song!". After I sang it, she told me, "Its okay, I still like the song." FML

#14896
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23769) - you deserved it (4379)

On 02/08/2009 at 12:18pm - misc - by None (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my friend sent me a link about a nine year old kid who wrote an iPhone app that gets 2000 downloads per week. I am a 28 year old software developer and have been failing to write an iPhone app for months. FML

#14095
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29222) - you deserved it (5350)

On 02/07/2009 at 10:06pm - misc - by dinosaur (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom slept all day. But when she got out of bed for five minutes, she told me I was a worthless piece of shit. Then she went back to bed. FML

#5419
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40752) - you deserved it (2280)

On 02/02/2009 at 1:07pm - misc - by asdf - United States (Washington)

Today, my doctor called with my test results, which seem to tell him that there's absolutely nothing wrong with me. I'm still sitting here with an appendage that I'd swear was dispensing napalm, but now I have a $500 bill to go with it. FML

#2743
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17797) - you deserved it (1690)

On 01/26/2009 at 9:18pm - health - by ouch - United States (Washington)

Today, I promised my best friend I wouldn't let her hook up with any guys (she got an STD a few weeks ago). After we tossed a few back she led about 30 people in a chant of "cockblock" after I wouldnt let her go home with some random dude. FML

#2489
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43019) - you deserved it (3320)

On 01/25/2009 at 12:54am - intimacy - by cockblockingbitch - United States (Washington)

Today, a student of mine used the phrase "well, you know, like back in your day" about defining "going out". I'm only 24. FML

#1158
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20441) - you deserved it (1786)

On 01/14/2009 at 6:20pm - kids - by Old? - United States (Washington)

Today, at the age of 22 I started eating my boogers. FML

#962
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5948) - you deserved it (42175)

On 01/11/2009 at 9:33am - misc - by Snotmyfault - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: