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FMLs submitted from Washington

Today, it is my twin sisters and my birthday. We both wanted a day at the spa for our birthday. My sister got a gift certificate to the spa, while I got mouthwash and a $20 gift card to Target. My mom said it would cost too much to make me pretty also. FML

#208203
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (110086) - you deserved it (5209)

On 03/04/2009 at 4:48pm - misc - by Kensie (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I asked my girlfriend if she has ever had an affair. She replied, "Yes. With you". FML

#168458
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53475) - you deserved it (6724)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:34am - love - by Sdutent (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boss said he was giving me a significant raise. After he requested the payroll department to raise my salary they informed him he needed to fill out a one-sheet form. He took my raise away because he didn't want to fill out that sheet. FML

#154769
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63164) - you deserved it (2254)

On 02/27/2009 at 6:05pm - work - by anabolic (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was telling my mom that I was really nervous about going to the gynecologist for the first time. Her response, "Oh don't worry, it's not like it's the first time you've spread your legs!" FML

#98125
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37831) - you deserved it (9297)

On 02/21/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by taperjeangirl - United States (Washington)

Today, My boyfriend gave me a gift card for $32 to a local salon. I thought the amount was kind of random, but when I went in I saw that the bikini wax was $32. FML

#66686
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39297) - you deserved it (12491)

On 02/18/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by nadalada (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized the annoying squealing I hear every night isn't my guinea pig. Apparently my brothers girlfriend makes that sound when they have sex. FML

#62926
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43491) - you deserved it (2865)

On 02/17/2009 at 8:00pm - intimacy - by KTK (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, the priest was handing out red roses after church. The woman ahead of me asked for a rose. The priest said, "Sorry, we are only giving them out to single women since they didn't get any for Valentine's Day." Then he hands one to me. This was the first time I have been to that church. FML

#62419
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37244) - you deserved it (3779)

On 02/17/2009 at 6:44pm - love - by KC (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I auditioned for the musical at my school. Before I sang my song, I gave my music to the director. She said "Oh, I love this song!". After I sang it, she told me, "Its okay, I still like the song." FML

#14896
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23795) - you deserved it (4380)

On 02/08/2009 at 12:18pm - misc - by None (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my friend sent me a link about a nine year old kid who wrote an iPhone app that gets 2000 downloads per week. I am a 28 year old software developer and have been failing to write an iPhone app for months. FML

#14095
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29268) - you deserved it (5356)

On 02/07/2009 at 10:06pm - misc - by dinosaur (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom slept all day. But when she got out of bed for five minutes, she told me I was a worthless piece of shit. Then she went back to bed. FML

#5419
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40789) - you deserved it (2281)

On 02/02/2009 at 1:07pm - misc - by asdf - United States (Washington)

Today, my doctor called with my test results, which seem to tell him that there's absolutely nothing wrong with me. I'm still sitting here with an appendage that I'd swear was dispensing napalm, but now I have a $500 bill to go with it. FML

#2743
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18739) - you deserved it (1778)

On 01/26/2009 at 9:18pm - health - by ouch - United States (Washington)

Today, I promised my best friend I wouldn't let her hook up with any guys (she got an STD a few weeks ago). After we tossed a few back she led about 30 people in a chant of "cockblock" after I wouldnt let her go home with some random dude. FML

#2489
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43066) - you deserved it (3324)

On 01/25/2009 at 12:54am - intimacy - by cockblockingbitch - United States (Washington)

Today, a student of mine used the phrase "well, you know, like back in your day" about defining "going out". I'm only 24. FML

#1158
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20470) - you deserved it (1788)

On 01/14/2009 at 6:20pm - kids - by Old? - United States (Washington)



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