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FMLs submitted from Washington

Today, I took my 4-year-old daughter to the local pool for swim lessons. As we walked onto the deck she turned to me and said "Mom, that lady has really big boobs!" The whole pool heard, even the man my daughter was referring to. FML

#953150
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60127) - you deserved it (4546)

On 04/13/2009 at 4:09pm - kids - by shizzy09 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was driving on the freeway when I saw a car in front of me swerving across 3 lanes of traffic. Thinking he might be drunk, I dialed 911 on my phone, but I dropped it. I fished under my seat to get it, swerving, and got pulled over by highway patrol and given a field sobriety test. FML

#801542
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39230) - you deserved it (27468)

On 04/04/2009 at 3:42pm - misc - by driverman12 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, we sparred for Tae Kwon Do. I forgot my cup, but I didn't think anyone sucked enough to hit me below the belt. 5 seconds into a match, some girl knees me in the happy sacks. After writhing in pain for 30 seconds, I got back up to spar. I didn't think she sucked enough to do it again. She did. FML

#763376
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59928) - you deserved it (28867)

On 04/02/2009 at 6:28am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom found a box full of stuff she had been looking for. She starts going through it and finds baby pictures of my sister and I as well as pictures of the cats. She puts my baby pictures back in the box and closes the lid. The cat pictures are now hanging in her living room. FML

#656322
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47241) - you deserved it (3352)

On 03/28/2009 at 1:38am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was leading a wheelchair fundraiser to raise money to make public areas wheelchair accessible. I had several guest speakers, all of which were confined to wheelchairs. About ten minutes after the fundraiser was supposed to begin, I realized that the stage was wheelchair incompatible. FML

#621759
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14956) - you deserved it (72188)

On 03/26/2009 at 1:40pm - work - by hated (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
522 comments

I agree, your life sucks (244329) - you deserved it (32234)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I fell asleep in class during a boring economics lecture. I heard a whisper say "Rise and shine sleeping beauty." I thought it was my boyfriend, so i responded "Baby, what time is it? When is this F*ing class going to be over!?" it wasnt my boyfriend talking, it was my teacher. FML

#437815
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14334) - you deserved it (77555)

On 03/18/2009 at 11:48am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs onto cement and had to get stitches in my knee. The class I was running to was Buddhist Philosophy where I was supposed to give a presentation on how we all need to slow down and stop rushing through life. FML

#407679
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21706) - you deserved it (57872)

On 03/17/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Noname - United States (Washington)

Today, I was rejected from the University of Washington. My dad has been a professor there for 30 years, and is on the board of admissions. FML

#366764
349 comments

I agree, your life sucks (398179) - you deserved it (89908)

On 03/16/2009 at 12:05am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boss forgot her meeting with an official from the military base and called to ask me to handle it. The very cute Marine showed up that afternoon and we talked for an hour. After he left, I realized I had forgotten about the paper mustache I taped to my face for fun that morning. FML

#285039
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16188) - you deserved it (65452)

On 03/12/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by Jaeda (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while showering in my dorm, a hand reaches through the curtain and grabs my ass. I hit the person on the other side of the curtain. He opened the curtain thinking that I was his girlfriend. He apologized and he had sex with his girlfriend in the shower stall next to me. FML

#268539
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68542) - you deserved it (3057)

On 03/11/2009 at 3:37am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Washington)



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