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FMLs submitted from Washington

Today, I explained to my dad that I had spent over three hours baking, frosting, and decorating a cake from scratch and how proud I was of it. Without even looking up at me, he replied, "You really need a boyfriend." FML

#21149895
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41957) - you deserved it (5004)

On 05/24/2014 at 2:23am - misc - by lifesabitch2016 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, some girl's mom gave me a load of abuse for endangering her daughter's health. How? By deleting my Facebook account, which caused her to have a serious panic attack. Apparently she thought we were best friends, and that I was ditching her. I'm confused too. FML

#21149491
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42790) - you deserved it (3134)

On 05/23/2014 at 6:44pm - misc - by nikaea (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out my neighbor collects body-bags. FML

#21139874
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39927) - you deserved it (3536)

On 05/14/2014 at 5:46pm - misc - by chellegbelle - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend admitted to my best friend that she basically just sees me as a dildo with annoying emotions. FML

#21138864
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53090) - you deserved it (7158)

On 05/13/2014 at 5:31pm - love - by taintedlover (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom invited me over yet again so I could practice my culinary degree by making an exquisite, gourmet meal for her dog; a three year old Pomeranian who pees in my shoes. FML

#21138238
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37458) - you deserved it (4741)

On 05/12/2014 at 10:46pm - animals - by that_culinary_degree_though (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got a birthday package from my parents. It was all the stuff I'd forgotten there when visiting a month ago, along with some other things I'd left behind when I moved out. FML

#21130304
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37341) - you deserved it (5338)

On 05/04/2014 at 6:11am - misc - by chrono19 - United States (Washington)

Today, I was texting a girl I like, explaining how she looks like an attractive celebrity. She responded with a picture of a very unattractive lady and asked if she looked like that. I told her if she had been caught in a burning building, then yes, that would look like her. It was of her mom. FML

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

#21108570
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65518) - you deserved it (32811)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm - animals - by Brody89 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my wife got her period. Every single time, she ends up asking me to go buy her some midol after a few days of trying to tough it out, so I decided to buy her some ahead of time. She reacted by yelling at me for treating her like a child and implying that she couldn't go buy it herself. FML

#21098714
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43464) - you deserved it (4767)

On 03/28/2014 at 5:43pm - love - by unappreciated husband (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, someone on Instagram posted a picture of himself with gym lifting straps around his neck. I commented "autoerotic asphyxiation" and now a 250-pound bodybuilder wants to kill me. FML

#21097153
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21499) - you deserved it (35960)

On 03/26/2014 at 6:39pm - health - by athletiks (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I tried to get out of my boyfriend's car in an angered exit because he got a text from the woman he's been cheating on me with. I ended up tripping on my purse, falling out of the car and face-planting onto the sidewalk. FML

Today, fed up with my nerdy appearance, I got my hair shaved off, hoping for a Walter White kind of look. I didn't think it was too bad, but not even an hour later, I'd already been called a "fat Bruce Willis" and compared to a freshly circumcised penis. FML

#21092620
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34496) - you deserved it (7159)

On 03/21/2014 at 12:10pm - misc - by richard (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was texting an artist friend telling her I wanted to buy her paintings; going on and on about how much I wanted it and loved the way they looked and couldn't wait to have them. I realized my phone had corrected paintings to panties. FML

#21091119
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38619) - you deserved it (5131)

On 03/19/2014 at 7:19pm - misc - by BigBlue (man) - United States (Washington)



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