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FMLs submitted from Washington

Today, I was hanging out with this guy I've been trying to get for four months. I felt like I needed to go to the bathroom. I walked out, glad that I was quiet about it. Ten minutes later, my mom walks out of the same bathroom and goes "Honey, you need to spray after you make a stinky" FML

#1213671
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54235) - you deserved it (5049)

On 04/22/2009 at 12:37am - misc - by stanky (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was babysitting a 5-year-old girl and we were coloring. She made me a card that was very sweet, so I smiled. She looked at me and went "Don't smile, your smile is really scary." FML

#1119408
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49803) - you deserved it (4748)

On 04/19/2009 at 2:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was relaxing alone at a bar when I was approached by the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen. She was too good to be true, so I asked, "Is this some kind of a prank?" She immediately turned around and left. She thought I was calling her ugly. I'll never see her again. FML

#1047922
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16339) - you deserved it (72842)

On 04/17/2009 at 2:29am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I forgot to take my wallet off the roof of my car and drove away, onto the highway. A man behind me began flashing his lights and waving his arms. I thought he was freaking out because I cut him off. I flipped him off. He was trying to tell me that all my money was flying down the road. FML

#1047617
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7805) - you deserved it (76535)

On 04/17/2009 at 2:12am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was talking on my mobile and walking into a grocery store saying, quite loudly, "Time heals all wounds!" right as I passed a woman with significant burns covering her face. I guess I was wrong. FML

#989435
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18355) - you deserved it (48694)

On 04/15/2009 at 12:17pm - misc - by Insensitive (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was in the Student Union when a man a came up to me and asked if I wanted to be in a study to see how men acted differently when working with attractive women. Flattered and taken aback, I agreed. He then told me I would be part of the control group to see how they act around plain looking women. FML

#963368
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53370) - you deserved it (5863)

On 04/14/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by wellgreat (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I took my 4-year-old daughter to the local pool for swim lessons. As we walked onto the deck she turned to me and said "Mom, that lady has really big boobs!" The whole pool heard, even the man my daughter was referring to. FML

#953150
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60050) - you deserved it (4543)

On 04/13/2009 at 4:09pm - kids - by shizzy09 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was driving on the freeway when I saw a car in front of me swerving across 3 lanes of traffic. Thinking he might be drunk, I dialed 911 on my phone, but I dropped it. I fished under my seat to get it, swerving, and got pulled over by highway patrol and given a field sobriety test. FML

#801542
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39196) - you deserved it (27436)

On 04/04/2009 at 3:42pm - misc - by driverman12 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, we sparred for Tae Kwon Do. I forgot my cup, but I didn't think anyone sucked enough to hit me below the belt. 5 seconds into a match, some girl knees me in the happy sacks. After writhing in pain for 30 seconds, I got back up to spar. I didn't think she sucked enough to do it again. She did. FML

#763376
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59475) - you deserved it (28697)

On 04/02/2009 at 6:28am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom found a box full of stuff she had been looking for. She starts going through it and finds baby pictures of my sister and I as well as pictures of the cats. She puts my baby pictures back in the box and closes the lid. The cat pictures are now hanging in her living room. FML

#656322
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46259) - you deserved it (3263)

On 03/28/2009 at 1:38am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was leading a wheelchair fundraiser to raise money to make public areas wheelchair accessible. I had several guest speakers, all of which were confined to wheelchairs. About ten minutes after the fundraiser was supposed to begin, I realized that the stage was wheelchair incompatible. FML

#621759
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14904) - you deserved it (72059)

On 03/26/2009 at 1:40pm - work - by hated (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
520 comments

I agree, your life sucks (242154) - you deserved it (32165)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)



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