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FMLs submitted from Washington

Today, I went to the dentist. After drilling my teeth for what seemed like hours, he gave me a long speech about how if I continue to smoke, the yellowing of my teeth won't be the only problem. I don't smoke. I never have. FML

#1585539
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46951) - you deserved it (8261)

On 05/03/2009 at 4:37am - health - by bananayellowteeth (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I didn't have any money to buy a tampon from the dispenser at my school but my hands are small enough so I can just slide them up and grab one. My hand got stuck in the dispenser and my school had to call the fire department. Now everyone calls me tampon girl. FML

#1493911
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28733) - you deserved it (63808)

On 04/30/2009 at 3:56pm - misc - by obeezy (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I turned 35. I was given my first-ever orgasm by the best lover I've ever had: a massaging shower head from Wal-Mart. That I bought for myself. It was the only gift I received. FML

#1475215
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (100716) - you deserved it (16274)

On 04/29/2009 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was babysitting a four year old. He was mad and began hitting me. I told him to use his words not his fists when he's mad. He then began telling me how much he hated me and that I should go die and never come back. FML

#1474084
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45057) - you deserved it (17392)

On 04/29/2009 at 9:34pm - kids - by GirlinGreen - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to my son's soccer game. I cheered his name at the top my lungs and waved with a grin on my face. I saw him whisper something to a team mate so I watched the film my husband took later that night. His friend asked, "Who is that?" and my son replied, "I don't know some fat bitch." FML

#1230911
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92570) - you deserved it (17341)

On 04/22/2009 at 5:46pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was hanging out with this guy I've been trying to get for four months. I felt like I needed to go to the bathroom. I walked out, glad that I was quiet about it. Ten minutes later, my mom walks out of the same bathroom and goes "Honey, you need to spray after you make a stinky" FML

#1213671
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55267) - you deserved it (5156)

On 04/22/2009 at 12:37am - misc - by stanky (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was babysitting a 5-year-old girl and we were coloring. She made me a card that was very sweet, so I smiled. She looked at me and went "Don't smile, your smile is really scary." FML

#1119408
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49836) - you deserved it (4751)

On 04/19/2009 at 2:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was relaxing alone at a bar when I was approached by the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen. She was too good to be true, so I asked, "Is this some kind of a prank?" She immediately turned around and left. She thought I was calling her ugly. I'll never see her again. FML

#1047922
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16351) - you deserved it (72892)

On 04/17/2009 at 2:29am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I forgot to take my wallet off the roof of my car and drove away, onto the highway. A man behind me began flashing his lights and waving his arms. I thought he was freaking out because I cut him off. I flipped him off. He was trying to tell me that all my money was flying down the road. FML

#1047617
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7815) - you deserved it (76581)

On 04/17/2009 at 2:12am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was talking on my mobile and walking into a grocery store saying, quite loudly, "Time heals all wounds!" right as I passed a woman with significant burns covering her face. I guess I was wrong. FML

#989435
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18373) - you deserved it (48716)

On 04/15/2009 at 12:17pm - misc - by Insensitive (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was in the Student Union when a man a came up to me and asked if I wanted to be in a study to see how men acted differently when working with attractive women. Flattered and taken aback, I agreed. He then told me I would be part of the control group to see how they act around plain looking women. FML

#963368
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54392) - you deserved it (5970)

On 04/14/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by wellgreat (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I took my 4-year-old daughter to the local pool for swim lessons. As we walked onto the deck she turned to me and said "Mom, that lady has really big boobs!" The whole pool heard, even the man my daughter was referring to. FML

#953150
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60089) - you deserved it (4546)

On 04/13/2009 at 4:09pm - kids - by shizzy09 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was driving on the freeway when I saw a car in front of me swerving across 3 lanes of traffic. Thinking he might be drunk, I dialed 911 on my phone, but I dropped it. I fished under my seat to get it, swerving, and got pulled over by highway patrol and given a field sobriety test. FML

#801542
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39220) - you deserved it (27450)

On 04/04/2009 at 3:42pm - misc - by driverman12 (man) - United States (Washington)



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