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FMLs submitted from Washington

Today, my girlfriend and I went down to the pier. I brought an empty bottle and some paper, and we both constructed a massive letter expressing our passionate love for each other. We stuck it in the bottle, and threw it out to sea, only to see it explode in slow motion on a protruding rock. FML

#2220782
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43014) - you deserved it (13287)

On 05/23/2009 at 8:16pm - love - by CastAway (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, the three-year-old I was babysitting asked me where my boyfriend was. I told her he was at his house. I'm twenty and single. I lied to a three year old to make myself look less pathetic. FML

#2136862
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43011) - you deserved it (12604)

On 05/21/2009 at 2:21am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was riding the bus home from school. I was sitting by myself, and my backpack was occupying the seat next to me. A hot girl boarded the bus, and was standing right where I was sitting. I placed my backpack on my lap, freeing up the seat. The girl stood the entire bus ride. FML

#2100756
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42917) - you deserved it (5731)

On 05/19/2009 at 11:31pm - misc - by EricCartman (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my five year old daughter came up to me and asked, "Mom, why are we so poor?" I replied, in a sweet motherly tone "Honey, we're not poor." She then asked, "Then why do you dress like we are poor?" FML

#1997248
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43976) - you deserved it (7445)

On 05/16/2009 at 10:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, when done feeding my newborn, I stated to my husband that I'm a cow. He said, in a sincere tone, "Oh, baby, you'll lose the weight soon." I meant cow because I'm producing so much milk. FML

#1987412
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47025) - you deserved it (19230)

On 05/16/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by Heifer (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a Taylor Swift concert. At the concert they put up a sign that said "Scream if you love country boys." My boyfriend took one look at it and started screaming. FML

#1971558
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53115) - you deserved it (11006)

On 05/16/2009 at 3:52am - love - by TayTay (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was cleaning my apartment because I'm moving. I was being really thorough so I could get as much of the damage deposit back as possible. I noticed I still had one of those 3M plastic hooks on the wall, and when I went to carefully take it off, a large chunk of the wall came with it. FML

#1896240
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41377) - you deserved it (7747)

On 05/13/2009 at 3:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I took my parents and 3 sisters to the airport so they could take a trip to Hawaii. I wasn't invited because they don't like my husband. They asked me to watch the dog and water the plants. FML

#1845673
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50736) - you deserved it (6753)

On 05/11/2009 at 3:45pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

#1815627
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (429293) - you deserved it (59834)

On 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was walking in the park when I saw an attractive girl walking nearby. I approached her to strike up a conversation when suddenly a large fly invaded my left nostril, and became lodged inside. After picking out the bloody fly pieces, I looked up to see the girl walking away, gagging. FML

#1759854
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50876) - you deserved it (5383)

On 05/08/2009 at 9:07pm - animals - by jamblasticus (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was excited about my friend going wedding dress shopping. Before I went to go work out, I decided to try on a prom dress from high school to remember what it felt like to get dressed up. It was too tight, I broke the zipper, and spent 45 minutes trapped before I cut myself out. FML

#1688328
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18428) - you deserved it (37270)

On 05/06/2009 at 11:04am - misc - by Fatty (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out nobody in my family wants to come to my college graduation. I spent 4 years and $60,000 to be the first person in my family to go to college, and nobody wants to see me graduate because the 4 hour ceremony is too long. FML

#1639625
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71191) - you deserved it (3998)

On 05/04/2009 at 7:39pm - misc - by strawberrypuff (woman) - United States (Washington)



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