FMLs submitted from Washington

Today, I walked into my apartment to find my boyfriend of two years screwing my lifelong best friend. I immediately burst into tears. He looked at me and told me I was being too dramatic. FML

by Anonymous / 12/03/2009 at 3:39am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, my friend accidentally left her facebook logged onto my computer after she left my house. I looked on her facebook and found a very long message between her and my other friends talking about how much they hate me. FML

by Anonymous / 11/29/2009 at 1:31am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was feeling confident enough to approach a guy by asking the bartender if I could buy him a refill of whatever he was drinking. He was drinking water. FML

by Anonymous / 11/25/2009 at 10:28pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about how I'm self conscious about my weight. He looks at me and says, "Don't worry babe, I've always been kind of a chubby chaser." FML

by cc / 11/24/2009 at 12:03am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I found my son's dead goldfish. Apparently, when it died he didn't flush it. Instead he placed it in one of my socks, placed that sock in a jar, and set the jar in the back of my closet. The fish has been dead for over a month. FML

by Anonymous / 11/23/2009 at 2:31am / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, my boss called me into her office to tell me I needed to mind my own business and not question everything my newest co-worker does. Yesterday, I stopped the new girl from giving $6,000 to the wrong person. I was fired on the spot. The new girl was promoted into my job. FML

by Anonymous / 11/22/2009 at 2:31am / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, a McDonald's employee had to correct my math after counting out $2.37 in change. I'm in AP Calculus and am currently learning how to find the derivative of an inverse of a logarithm. FML

by Links / 11/20/2009 at 2:26am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I drove from Seattle, WA to Vancouver, BC for the Three Days Grace concert. I was so excited when I found the building. There was a big readerboard that flashed "THREE DAYS GRACE" and I cheered. Then it flashed "CANCELLED." FML

by illinformed / 11/18/2009 at 12:23am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was looking at the annoucements in the newspaper and find out that my boyfriend of the past 6 years is supposed to be married in 2 days to what I thought was his ex-girlfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 11/16/2009 at 11:01pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, after being turned away by nearly all the restaurants in the area, I tried applying at Burger King. They too turned me away. I have a Culinary School Degree. FML

by Anonymous / 11/16/2009 at 4:54pm / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, my upstairs neighbor congratulated me on keeping him 'til dawn with my girlfriend and the chick in the apartment next to us. He doesn't know how I got them to agree to a threesome. Since I was at my folks all weekend, neither do I. FML

by butch / 11/13/2009 at 2:04am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I was informed by my boss that he has been stealing quarters out of my change bowl to pay for his bus rides. He makes six times the amount I make. FML

by JBK06262009 / 11/12/2009 at 4:40pm / United States (Washington) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend told his best friend to text my sister telling her to tell me that he was breaking up with me. FML

by Anonymous / 11/06/2009 at 1:06am / United States (Washington) / Love