Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (314287) - you deserved it (41287)
On 03/20/2009 at 12:15am - kids - by ScoobieDoo (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I fell asleep in class during a boring economics lecture. I heard a whisper say "Rise and shine sleeping beauty." I thought it was my boyfriend, so i responded "Baby, what time is it? When is this F*ing class going to be over!?" it wasnt my boyfriend talking, it was my teacher. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11120) - you deserved it (61659)
On 03/18/2009 at 11:48am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I fell down a flight of stairs onto cement and had to get stitches in my knee. The class I was running to was Buddhist Philosophy where I was supposed to give a presentation on how we all need to slow down and stop rushing through life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18236) - you deserved it (47048)
On 03/17/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Noname - United States (Washington)
Today, I was rejected from the University of Washington. My dad has been a professor there for 30 years, and is on the board of admissions. FML
I agree, your life sucks (327538) - you deserved it (67124)
On 03/16/2009 at 12:05am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my boss forgot her meeting with an official from the military base and called to ask me to handle it. The very cute Marine showed up that afternoon and we talked for an hour. After he left, I realized I had forgotten about the paper mustache I taped to my face for fun that morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12671) - you deserved it (56540)
On 03/12/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by Jaeda (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, while showering in my dorm, a hand reaches through the curtain and grabs my ass. I hit the person on the other side of the curtain. He opened the curtain thinking that I was his girlfriend. He apologized and he had sex with his girlfriend in the shower stall next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60438) - you deserved it (2262)
On 03/11/2009 at 3:37am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I found out that the electric nose hair clippers that I've been using for the past two years are in fact my father's pubic hair trimmers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52992) - you deserved it (12157)
On 03/11/2009 at 2:07am - misc - by nickyniknaim93 (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I woke up at 5:30 AM to my boyfriend flipping on the lights and shouting, "We have a problem!" Our chinchilla had gotten out of his maximum security cage, and half of our apartment is now underwater because he decided the water line that leads to the fridge would make a tasty midnight snack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43948) - you deserved it (7195)
On 03/04/2009 at 5:42pm - misc - by Sara (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, it is my twin sisters and my birthday. We both wanted a day at the spa for our birthday. My sister got a gift certificate to the spa, while I got mouthwash and a $20 gift card to Target. My mom said it would cost too much to make me pretty also. FML
I agree, your life sucks (94246) - you deserved it (3763)
On 03/04/2009 at 4:48pm - misc - by Kensie (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I asked my girlfriend if she has ever had an affair. She replied, "Yes. With you". FML
I agree, your life sucks (47174) - you deserved it (5838)
On 03/01/2009 at 3:34am - love - by Sdutent (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my boss said he was giving me a significant raise. After he requested the payroll department to raise my salary they informed him he needed to fill out a one-sheet form. He took my raise away because he didn't want to fill out that sheet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56552) - you deserved it (1868)
On 02/27/2009 at 6:05pm - work - by anabolic (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was telling my mom that I was really nervous about going to the gynecologist for the first time. Her response, "Oh don't worry, it's not like it's the first time you've spread your legs!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31772) - you deserved it (7584)
On 02/21/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by taperjeangirl - United States (Washington)
Today, My boyfriend gave me a gift card for $32 to a local salon. I thought the amount was kind of random, but when I went in I saw that the bikini wax was $32. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33240) - you deserved it (10190)
On 02/18/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by nadalada (woman) - United States (Washington)
Monday 17 June 2013
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