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FMLs submitted from Washington

Today, I learned the hard way that if you walk up to a hobo by your car pooping, they will chase you yelling, "Get out of my bathroom!" FML

#6166961
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30292) - you deserved it (3718)

On 11/05/2009 at 12:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend called and asked me why I love him. I told him because he's always there for me and continues to put up with my bipolar disorder. He promptly said "not anymore" and hung up. FML

#6072093
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38909) - you deserved it (4610)

On 10/30/2009 at 5:24pm - love - by screwed (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my son couldn't find all the parts to his Cub Scout uniform. I had a serious talk with him about being prepared, and how he would need to live with the consequences of not having the right outfit on. When we arrived at the meeting, everyone was in costumes because it's Halloween. I forgot. FML

#6056189
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6339) - you deserved it (39633)

On 10/29/2009 at 3:20pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend and I realized that the vibrator we bought got sent to his parents house. He picked it up from them, brought it home, and we discovered that they had already opened the package. They even tried to hide the evidence by re-taping it. FML

#6051108
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18177) - you deserved it (4599)

On 10/29/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by crazygirl (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my fiance told me he thought it was time that we started to see other people. I'm six months pregnant with his baby. FML

#5968857
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50327) - you deserved it (3980)

On 10/24/2009 at 12:49am - love - by Marcella (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, they are pumping out the septic system in the building next door. I am three months pregnant, suffering from morning sickness, and can smell everything within a three-mile radius. FML

#5958040
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34130) - you deserved it (3481)

On 10/23/2009 at 12:12pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I carved a pumpkin for Halloween. I thought it would be cool to carve my name, and have it shine through onto the wall behind it. I figured that if I carved my name backwards then it would show up correct on the wall. My name's Lana and now my wall says Anal. FML

#5954141
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11711) - you deserved it (44139)

On 10/23/2009 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I surprised my boyfriend at work, only to notice that his neck was covered in hickies. The night before, he texted me saying he needed alone time to get his mind together. Looks like he got together with another mind. FML

#5942129
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34272) - you deserved it (2892)

On 10/22/2009 at 8:09am - love - by LonelyHeart (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my math teacher decided to use my acne as an example of symmetry in front of the whole class. FML

#5924929
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52135) - you deserved it (3606)

On 10/21/2009 at 2:59am - health - by acneface (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, for my 2 year anniversary, I bought my girlfriend a beautiful $400 necklace. She bought me a pink $5 shirt of Elton John riding a piano through space. FML

#5911191
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35875) - you deserved it (6804)

On 10/20/2009 at 10:04am - misc - by lame (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was texting my boyfriend. I noticed that he had added a signature onto his texts that had the date 11/10/09. At first, I blushed and thought it was the date we had become a couple. But then I realized it was just the day the new Call of Duty game comes out. Love you too. FML

#5908509
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16988) - you deserved it (30418)

On 10/20/2009 at 1:26am - love - by gamergirlfriend (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was showing my friend's dad an airsoft gun I was hoping he would be interested in buying. It's a pistol worth about 90 bucks. In the midst of showing him, I thought it would be funny to do a fake, upwards "pistol whip". The mag ended up flying out full speed and hitting him in the eye. FML

#5908377
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5520) - you deserved it (40612)

On 10/20/2009 at 12:57am - misc - by gunman (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I discovered that nothing kills a wet dream faster than a kitten who pounces on things that wiggle under the blanket. FML

#5903153
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21307) - you deserved it (3558)

On 10/19/2009 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by JohnB (man) - United States (Washington)



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