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FMLs submitted from Washington

Today, my math teacher decided to use my acne as an example of symmetry in front of the whole class. FML

#5924929
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45528) - you deserved it (2737)

On 10/21/2009 at 2:59am - health - by acneface (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, for my 2 year anniversary, I bought my girlfriend a beautiful $400 necklace. She bought me a pink $5 shirt of Elton John riding a piano through space. FML

#5911191
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32996) - you deserved it (6336)

On 10/20/2009 at 10:04am - misc - by lame (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was texting my boyfriend. I noticed that he had added a signature onto his texts that had the date 11/10/09. At first, I blushed and thought it was the date we had become a couple. But then I realized it was just the day the new Call of Duty game comes out. Love you too. FML

#5908509
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16117) - you deserved it (29405)

On 10/20/2009 at 1:26am - love - by gamergirlfriend (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was showing my friend's dad an airsoft gun I was hoping he would be interested in buying. It's a pistol worth about 90 bucks. In the midst of showing him, I thought it would be funny to do a fake, upwards "pistol whip". The mag ended up flying out full speed and hitting him in the eye. FML

#5908377
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4074) - you deserved it (35502)

On 10/20/2009 at 12:57am - misc - by gunman (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I discovered that nothing kills a wet dream faster than a kitten who pounces on things that wiggle under the blanket. FML

#5903153
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20665) - you deserved it (3476)

On 10/19/2009 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by JohnB (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I bought a safe. I put all of my most prized possessions in it, including all of my jewelry, family heirlooms and important papers. Oh, and just before I locked it up, I put the key to the safe in there too. FML

#5853420
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9182) - you deserved it (43712)

On 10/16/2009 at 5:02pm - misc - by smarty (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to work to find two new beautiful trainees. I thought maybe I might be able to hook up with one of them, so I walk up and flash my blue eyes and begin to act like a gentleman. Not five minutes into our conversation the girls ask me if there are any cute guys working here. FML

#5764838
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13264) - you deserved it (33416)

On 10/10/2009 at 9:04pm - work - by SadisticSatire (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my best friend and I went to the movies. There was a hot cashier, so I thought it would be cool to talk in a British accent to try and be sexy. I walked up and started talking when he interrupted me and said in a very heavy British accent, "I know you're faking. You can stop now." FML

#5752857
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6411) - you deserved it (51525)

On 10/10/2009 at 2:10am - work - by dammitt (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was locked inside my dorm room. Yeah, inside. How? Some of my floormates decided to stick pennies in the door frame, which jammed the handle. I was stuck inside my room and had to pee really bad. I couldn't call an RA to get me out either. Why? I am the RA. FML

#5705668
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32799) - you deserved it (4393)

On 10/07/2009 at 4:43pm - misc - by pennyhater (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to write a huge lab for my physics class. It's worth my entire quarter grade and I use a program on a CD for graphing. My mom thought it was a computer game and hid the CD. She can't find it. The lab's due tomorrow. FML

#5656241
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35718) - you deserved it (3217)

On 10/05/2009 at 1:27am - misc - by Bento (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to the doctors and was told I would need an inhaler. My mom came back from the pharmacy and told me the copay of $35 dollars was way too expensive, so she is making me use my cat's old inhaler. My mom values my cat's ability to breathe more then my own. FML

#5627700
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31756) - you deserved it (1915)

On 10/03/2009 at 7:17pm - misc - by juliasaman - United States (Washington)

Today, my crush was talking to me on Facebook. He said, "Did you know that 99% of the time a guy is talking to a girl it's because he wants to go out with her? Yeah, well, this is that 1%." FML

#5579906
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39918) - you deserved it (3160)

On 10/01/2009 at 2:59am - love - by Icy (woman) - United States (Washington) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, I thought that I had finally sold the car I've been trying to sell for two years. I had the money in my hand and had given over the title. As the "new" owner went to drive it away, the car wouldn't start. I had to give the money back. FML



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