Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Washington

Today, my boss called me into her office to tell me I needed to mind my own business and not question everything my newest co-worker does. Yesterday, I stopped the new girl from giving $6,000 to the wrong person. I was fired on the spot. The new girl was promoted into my job. FML

#6400678
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37167) - you deserved it (2511)

On 11/22/2009 at 2:31am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, a McDonald's employee had to correct my math after counting out $2.37 in change. I'm in AP Calculus and am currently learning how to find the derivative of an inverse of a logarithm. FML

#6377275
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7832) - you deserved it (38342)

On 11/20/2009 at 2:26am - misc - by Links (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I drove from Seattle, WA to Vancouver, BC for the Three Days Grace concert. I was so excited when I found the building. There was a big readerboard that flashed "THREE DAYS GRACE" and I cheered. Then it flashed "CANCELLED." FML

Today, I was looking at the annoucements in the newspaper and find out that my boyfriend of the past 6 years is supposed to be married in 2 days to what I thought was his ex-girlfriend. FML

#6335131
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36086) - you deserved it (2927)

On 11/16/2009 at 11:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, after being turned away by nearly all the restaurants in the area, I tried applying at Burger King. They too turned me away. I have a Culinary School Degree. FML

#6328557
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29265) - you deserved it (2622)

On 11/16/2009 at 4:54pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my upstairs neighbor congratulated me on keeping him 'til dawn with my girlfriend and the chick in the apartment next to us. He doesn't know how I got them to agree to a threesome. Since I was at my folks all weekend, neither do I. FML

#6283712
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21289) - you deserved it (1872)

On 11/13/2009 at 2:04am - intimacy - by butch - United States (Washington)

Today, I was informed by my boss that he has been stealing quarters out of my change bowl to pay for his bus rides. He makes six times the amount I make. FML

#6274623
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30135) - you deserved it (2010)

On 11/12/2009 at 4:40pm - work - by JBK06262009 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend told his best friend to text my sister telling her to tell me that he was breaking up with me. FML

#6177758
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28848) - you deserved it (2550)

On 11/06/2009 at 1:06am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I suffered a mental breakdown. I told my roommates about it, and they decided to throw a very loud party while I was sobbing in my room, unable to sleep. My Xanax prescription ran out, I have no more sick days, and I have to wake up in two hours to work a ten hour day. FML

#6177742
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31596) - you deserved it (6814)

On 11/06/2009 at 1:05am - health - by sadparty (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, at work I wrote up my boyfriend (whom I've been secretly dating, because I'm his supervisor) for being $40 short on his register. Our policy is to write up anyone short over $10. He got mad and told my boss we're dating, and I was instantly fired. Then I got dumped for being a "tattle-tale". FML

#6175631
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26603) - you deserved it (16162)

On 11/05/2009 at 10:43pm - work - by supervisor (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I learned the hard way that if you walk up to a hobo by your car pooping, they will chase you yelling, "Get out of my bathroom!" FML

#6166961
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30053) - you deserved it (3707)

On 11/05/2009 at 12:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend called and asked me why I love him. I told him because he's always there for me and continues to put up with my bipolar disorder. He promptly said "not anymore" and hung up. FML

#6072093
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38643) - you deserved it (4594)

On 10/30/2009 at 5:24pm - love - by screwed (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my son couldn't find all the parts to his Cub Scout uniform. I had a serious talk with him about being prepared, and how he would need to live with the consequences of not having the right outfit on. When we arrived at the meeting, everyone was in costumes because it's Halloween. I forgot. FML

#6056189
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5784) - you deserved it (37908)

On 10/29/2009 at 3:20pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: