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FMLs submitted from Washington

Today, I was standing in a long line at the Post Office when my 3 year old son starts rubbing up and down my leg. I asked him what he was doing and he said loudly. "I'm humping you like Simon humps me!" Everyone looks at me in shocked horror. Simon is our dog. FML

#6620817
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30260) - you deserved it (2774)

On 12/05/2009 at 7:04pm - animals - by Sissy (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I tried to send my boyfriend a sexy picture. I took a close up picture of my face, and, trying to be sexy, had my naked body reflected on a mirror in the background. First thing he says: "Who the hell is that guy in the background?" FML

#6596856
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19811) - you deserved it (5992)

On 12/04/2009 at 7:48am - intimacy - by Not-so-sexy - United States (Washington)

Today, I walked into my apartment to find my boyfriend of two years screwing my lifelong best friend. I immediately burst into tears. He looked at me and told me I was being too dramatic. FML

#6580116
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30674) - you deserved it (2229)

On 12/03/2009 at 3:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my friend accidentally left her facebook logged onto my computer after she left my house. I looked on her facebook and found a very long message between her and my other friends talking about how much they hate me. FML

#6506923
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38600) - you deserved it (7763)

On 11/29/2009 at 1:31am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was feeling confident enough to approach a guy by asking the bartender if I could buy him a refill of whatever he was drinking. He was drinking water. FML

#6454408
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23464) - you deserved it (5176)

On 11/25/2009 at 10:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about how I'm self conscious about my weight. He looks at me and says, "Don't worry babe, I've always been kind of a chubby chaser." FML

#6430848
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22961) - you deserved it (7016)

On 11/24/2009 at 12:03am - health - by cc (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found my son's dead goldfish. Apparently, when it died he didn't flush it. Instead he placed it in one of my socks, placed that sock in a jar, and set the jar in the back of my closet. The fish has been dead for over a month. FML

#6417968
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28623) - you deserved it (2383)

On 11/23/2009 at 2:31am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my boss called me into her office to tell me I needed to mind my own business and not question everything my newest co-worker does. Yesterday, I stopped the new girl from giving $6,000 to the wrong person. I was fired on the spot. The new girl was promoted into my job. FML

#6400678
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37216) - you deserved it (2514)

On 11/22/2009 at 2:31am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, a McDonald's employee had to correct my math after counting out $2.37 in change. I'm in AP Calculus and am currently learning how to find the derivative of an inverse of a logarithm. FML

#6377275
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7843) - you deserved it (38407)

On 11/20/2009 at 2:26am - misc - by Links (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I drove from Seattle, WA to Vancouver, BC for the Three Days Grace concert. I was so excited when I found the building. There was a big readerboard that flashed "THREE DAYS GRACE" and I cheered. Then it flashed "CANCELLED." FML

Today, I was looking at the annoucements in the newspaper and find out that my boyfriend of the past 6 years is supposed to be married in 2 days to what I thought was his ex-girlfriend. FML

#6335131
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36142) - you deserved it (2931)

On 11/16/2009 at 11:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, after being turned away by nearly all the restaurants in the area, I tried applying at Burger King. They too turned me away. I have a Culinary School Degree. FML

#6328557
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29308) - you deserved it (2626)

On 11/16/2009 at 4:54pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my upstairs neighbor congratulated me on keeping him 'til dawn with my girlfriend and the chick in the apartment next to us. He doesn't know how I got them to agree to a threesome. Since I was at my folks all weekend, neither do I. FML

#6283712
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21331) - you deserved it (1879)

On 11/13/2009 at 2:04am - intimacy - by butch - United States (Washington)



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