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FMLs submitted from Washington

Today, after my husband's phone buzzed like crazy all morning, I decided to pick it up and see what all the fuss was about. He had three new picture messages from his "boss", naked and strapped to a chair with the caption, "Are you still coming over tonight?" We've been married for nine years and have two children. FML

#12838933
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58980) - you deserved it (4155)

On 08/31/2010 at 2:07pm - intimacy - by ashlee (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to an audition for a play. The casting director thanked me for my time, but told me they would pass because I had "the emotional range of a turnip." FML

#12812142
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20353) - you deserved it (6704)

On 08/29/2010 at 10:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, at work, I was reprimanded for not engaging with customers enough. In an effort to be more friendly, I complimented the next customer on her interesting accent. Turns out it was from a stroke she had last year. FML

#12792587
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26840) - you deserved it (5776)

On 08/28/2010 at 8:05pm - work - by Flippy - United States (Washington)

Today, while trying to give an immunization to a "special" 13-year-old, I got spit on, kicked, almost bitten, and had a chair thrown at me. When it was all over, I flinched when the patient tried to hug me. Her mom called me a "b*tch" and I later found out she wasn't a "special" child. FML

#12767492
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34257) - you deserved it (3381)

On 08/27/2010 at 2:49am - work - by atetoeate (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I saw two cute girls walking my way as I was parking my car. Trying to impress them, I got out and attempted to coolly walk to the sidewalk. I tripped on the curb, scraped both my knees, and was laughed at all the way until I got back inside my car. FML

#12724664
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11033) - you deserved it (31477)

On 08/24/2010 at 6:36pm - love - by iammike (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, right after I turned down an amazing job opportunity in another location, just so I could be with him. FML

#12547774
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29848) - you deserved it (14822)

On 08/15/2010 at 10:15pm - love - by crystalpistol (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend finally got a job. As a clown. FML

#12304644
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30217) - you deserved it (8393)

On 08/04/2010 at 4:28am - work - by Ploeboi (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out I'm the only one in my family to wash their hands after they use the bathroom. FML

#11804292
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35519) - you deserved it (3326)

On 07/11/2010 at 2:06am - health - by Cheyenne - United States (Washington)

Today, my math teacher told me to learn how to say "welcome to wal-mart". FML

#11283515
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35327) - you deserved it (10583)

On 06/18/2010 at 3:13am - work - by Stevo - United States (Washington)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML

#10696797
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15768) - you deserved it (43410)

On 05/22/2010 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, after racing home with a jumbo package of toilet paper, I ran into my house to go to the bathroom. I then realized I'd left the toilet paper in the car. FML

#10628533
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18387) - you deserved it (28204)

On 05/19/2010 at 2:42pm - misc - by phukt (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML

#9110965
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41056) - you deserved it (8460)

On 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm - love - by Satan (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my roommate and I finally went to the DMV to transfer our vehicle ownership title to our names. On our way out, we joked that we were now responsible for any violations involving our car. We came back to a $35 parking ticket. FML

#9040800
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5986) - you deserved it (19181)

On 03/13/2010 at 4:17am - misc - by loki (woman) - United States (Washington)



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