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FMLs submitted from Washington

Today, I got sentenced to 20 hours community service for having a boy in my room an hour after floor hours. If I don't do the community service, I could get kicked out of the dorm and put on probation at my college. We were breaking up. FML

#13766093
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27564) - you deserved it (10321)

On 11/08/2010 at 3:43pm - misc - by pixie09 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized that my parents never ground me as a punishment because I don't get out enough for it to matter. FML

#13676187
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23955) - you deserved it (5396)

On 11/01/2010 at 4:10pm - misc - by evilparents (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to see Paranormal Activity 2 with my boyfriend. In hopes of him putting his arm around me or holding my hand, I told him that I was very scared and pretended to cry a little. He told me to be quiet because I was ruining the movie for him. Then he moved seats. FML

#13645625
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23057) - you deserved it (39546)

On 10/30/2010 at 1:41am - love - by Samantha - United States (Washington)

Today, a cute girl came up to me with her boyfriend and said, "If you end up looking like him, it's over." FML

#13633879
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25760) - you deserved it (2497)

On 10/29/2010 at 12:33am - misc - by nonexistant (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that my wife named our son after her ex boyfriend. FML

#13633122
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31504) - you deserved it (2509)

On 10/28/2010 at 11:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I found dried cum in my hair - after being at work for two hours. FML

#13572879
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14521) - you deserved it (44862)

On 10/24/2010 at 3:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found my pet hamster that escaped yesterday, wet and soggy, next to my pet dog. My dog chewed it. FML

#13558401
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27540) - you deserved it (3587)

On 10/23/2010 at 2:22am - animals - by poorhamster - United States (Washington)

Today, I told my dad that I had a herpes infection. He said "Good." FML

#13495113
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16638) - you deserved it (35585)

On 10/18/2010 at 2:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I called my mom for her birthday. She started talking about an infomercial she'd seen for a combo bidet-and-dryer, and how she would like to get one so she can feel "fresh down there" without worrying about getting bits of toilet paper on her nether regions. I can't un-hear this. FML

#13415843
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24904) - you deserved it (2720)

On 10/12/2010 at 1:46am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom rolled up the car window on my fingers. She thought my yelling and crying was because I was throwing a tantrum. I'm 26. FML

#13403115
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30109) - you deserved it (3730)

On 10/11/2010 at 3:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to Seattle with my mom to visit my pregnant sister, only to end up being dragged to a store to buy maternity clothes. The saleswoman apologized to me repeatedly for not having a lounge for the fathers, but congratulated me on the baby. I'm a girl. FML

#13290816
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28398) - you deserved it (4755)

On 10/02/2010 at 3:43pm - misc - by harvdog - United States (Washington)

Today, as I was leaving the office, I heard my very cute coworker behind me say "Hey gorgeous, where are you off to?" I turned around with a smile and said "About to hit up happy hour." He was on the phone with his wife. I'm calling in sick tomorrow. FML

#13274240
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24348) - you deserved it (10367)

On 10/01/2010 at 7:48am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I removed all my online dating profiles. Apparently my ex-husband finds stalking me online preferable to spending time with his new girlfriend. FML

#13270090
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23069) - you deserved it (2668)

On 09/30/2010 at 10:54pm - misc - by anon (woman) - United States (Washington)



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