Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Washington

Today, I was on my hour long bus ride home with a full bladder. Right as the bus reached my stop, the time I spent holding it in was over. I didn't make it out of the aisle before I peed my pants. FML

#13145145
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22844) - you deserved it (6715)

On 09/21/2010 at 6:16pm - health - by forgotten (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, it was the first day of astronomy class and we all waited for the professor to enter the classroom. All of a sudden, someone turns the lights off, it's pitch black, and we hear the professor saying, "Greetings earthlings..." It's going to be a long semester. FML

#13070220
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21681) - you deserved it (17864)

On 09/16/2010 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I filed a missing persons report on my boyfriend. He was out fishing and then was supposed to meet me for a romantic weekend getaway. He never showed up and didn't respond to my texts. I found out, courtesy of a voicemail from the sheriff's department, that he'd broken up with me. FML

#13013607
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32601) - you deserved it (4399)

On 09/12/2010 at 1:22am - love - by stood-up (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my family and I argued whether getting a period or boner in the middle of class was worse. At the dinner table. FML

#12986098
384 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27565) - you deserved it (12297)

On 09/10/2010 at 1:30am - intimacy - by Me - United States (Washington)

Today, I got circumcised. After the surgery, my girlfriend got drunk and texted all of her friends about it. FML

#12969357
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27142) - you deserved it (5258)

On 09/08/2010 at 10:15pm - health - by Chester (Seattle) - United States (Washington)

Today, after my husband's phone buzzed like crazy all morning, I decided to pick it up and see what all the fuss was about. He had three new picture messages from his "boss", naked and strapped to a chair with the caption, "Are you still coming over tonight?" We've been married for nine years and have two children. FML

#12838933
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58709) - you deserved it (4137)

On 08/31/2010 at 2:07pm - intimacy - by ashlee (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to an audition for a play. The casting director thanked me for my time, but told me they would pass because I had "the emotional range of a turnip." FML

#12812142
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18816) - you deserved it (6470)

On 08/29/2010 at 10:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, at work, I was reprimanded for not engaging with customers enough. In an effort to be more friendly, I complimented the next customer on her interesting accent. Turns out it was from a stroke she had last year. FML

#12792587
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24713) - you deserved it (5488)

On 08/28/2010 at 8:05pm - work - by Flippy - United States (Washington)

Today, while trying to give an immunization to a "special" 13-year-old, I got spit on, kicked, almost bitten, and had a chair thrown at me. When it was all over, I flinched when the patient tried to hug me. Her mom called me a "b*tch" and I later found out she wasn't a "special" child. FML

#12767492
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33045) - you deserved it (3283)

On 08/27/2010 at 2:49am - work - by atetoeate (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I saw two cute girls walking my way as I was parking my car. Trying to impress them, I got out and attempted to coolly walk to the sidewalk. I tripped on the curb, scraped both my knees, and was laughed at all the way until I got back inside my car. FML

#12724664
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10931) - you deserved it (31281)

On 08/24/2010 at 6:36pm - love - by iammike (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, right after I turned down an amazing job opportunity in another location, just so I could be with him. FML

#12547774
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28472) - you deserved it (14385)

On 08/15/2010 at 10:15pm - love - by crystalpistol (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend finally got a job. As a clown. FML

#12304644
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28103) - you deserved it (8057)

On 08/04/2010 at 4:28am - work - by Ploeboi (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out I'm the only one in my family to wash their hands after they use the bathroom. FML

#11804292
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35287) - you deserved it (3315)

On 07/11/2010 at 2:06am - health - by Cheyenne - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: