Today, my crush was talking to me on Facebook. He said, "Did you know that 99% of the time a guy is talking to a girl it's because he wants to go out with her? Yeah, well, this is that 1%." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35007) - you deserved it (2441)
On 10/01/2009 at 2:59am - love - by Icy (woman) - United States (Washington) - moderated by Kevin Nealon
Today, I thought that I had finally sold the car I've been trying to sell for two years. I had the money in my hand and had given over the title. As the "new" owner went to drive it away, the car wouldn't start. I had to give the money back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23145) - you deserved it (8382)
On 09/29/2009 at 11:57am - money - by me612 (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend found out that he has kidney failure. He was feeling sick for a few weeks and I had told him to drink lots of fluids and eat vegetables. Apparently that is really bad for kidney patients. I was killing him with water and spinach salads. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33218) - you deserved it (7423)
On 09/27/2009 at 2:33pm - health - by Raven3434 - United States (Washington)
Today, my sister bought my five year old son a giant ant farm for his birthday. We set it in the living room on a table. I went into the kitchen for a minute, and when I walked back in to the living room, my son was holding the empty case over his head, smiling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28104) - you deserved it (852)
On 09/26/2009 at 4:28pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I received a phone call from the number of a "single" guy I met online. It was his wife, who is three months pregnant. She threatened to kick my ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25606) - you deserved it (6845)
On 09/22/2009 at 9:10pm - love - by cchandler (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my vegetarian housemate cleaned the fridge. He threw away all of the meat in our fridge and made a nice sign stating "Meat is Murder". I was storing roughly $1000 worth of filet mignon steaks and seafood for my sister's wedding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52468) - you deserved it (4095)
On 09/22/2009 at 5:48pm - misc - by carnivore (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I went on a trip to DC. When I got back I found out my car was stolen. Apparently they didn't know how to drive a stick because it was only 4 blocks from my house and the engine was blown. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31273) - you deserved it (1627)
On 09/20/2009 at 11:07am - misc - by PoorCar (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was looking in my laundry basket for a clean tank top to wear. As I felt around, I realized that most of my clothes were still wet after two days. After asking my mom what was wrong with the dryer, I found out that for two days my cat had been using my laundry basket as a litter box. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25606) - you deserved it (3539)
On 09/14/2009 at 12:20am - animals - by catpeecathy (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I got stuck in an elevator for 45 minutes. I am an elevator mechanic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31027) - you deserved it (4665)
On 09/10/2009 at 2:02am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was sitting on my boyfriends lap and we were hanging out, talking, and enjoying each others company. Then he looked into my eyes and right when I thought he was going to kiss me, he said "I can feel your heartbeat on my dick." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14175) - you deserved it (3058)
On 09/08/2009 at 9:26pm - intimacy - by awkwardbf (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I spent all day at the hospital with my grandma for some tests. When I drove her back home she decided to thank me with $50. Knowing she is unemployed, I told her I couldn't take a whole $50. She replied with "Ungrateful, just like your mother", then took the money and left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27604) - you deserved it (2753)
On 09/08/2009 at 9:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I was at a friend's pool party. He lives on a lake and one of our friends wouldn't get in the water. My best friend and I decided to push him off the dock. Once we had, I turned to see my crush who had watched looked shocked. Then said "You know he can't swim right?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (5410) - you deserved it (44993)
On 09/04/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by babydoll13211 (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, while emailing my very young, attractive teacher to ask a question, my hand slipped. Too bad you can't unsend emails that say "Can we meet after school some time? I have some thongs I'd like to discuss with you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30895) - you deserved it (8068)
On 08/31/2009 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Monday 17 June 2013
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