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FMLs submitted from Washington

Today, I found out that my wife named our son after her ex boyfriend. FML

#13633122
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31227) - you deserved it (2496)

On 10/28/2010 at 11:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I found dried cum in my hair - after being at work for two hours. FML

#13572879
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13272) - you deserved it (42545)

On 10/24/2010 at 3:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found my pet hamster that escaped yesterday, wet and soggy, next to my pet dog. My dog chewed it. FML

#13558401
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25621) - you deserved it (3400)

On 10/23/2010 at 2:22am - animals - by poorhamster - United States (Washington)

Today, I told my dad that I had a herpes infection. He said "Good." FML

#13495113
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15510) - you deserved it (33891)

On 10/18/2010 at 2:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I called my mom for her birthday. She started talking about an infomercial she'd seen for a combo bidet-and-dryer, and how she would like to get one so she can feel "fresh down there" without worrying about getting bits of toilet paper on her nether regions. I can't un-hear this. FML

#13415843
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23915) - you deserved it (2629)

On 10/12/2010 at 1:46am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom rolled up the car window on my fingers. She thought my yelling and crying was because I was throwing a tantrum. I'm 26. FML

#13403115
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28112) - you deserved it (3547)

On 10/11/2010 at 3:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to Seattle with my mom to visit my pregnant sister, only to end up being dragged to a store to buy maternity clothes. The saleswoman apologized to me repeatedly for not having a lounge for the fathers, but congratulated me on the baby. I'm a girl. FML

#13290816
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27616) - you deserved it (4678)

On 10/02/2010 at 3:43pm - misc - by harvdog - United States (Washington)

Today, as I was leaving the office, I heard my very cute coworker behind me say "Hey gorgeous, where are you off to?" I turned around with a smile and said "About to hit up happy hour." He was on the phone with his wife. I'm calling in sick tomorrow. FML

#13274240
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24108) - you deserved it (10296)

On 10/01/2010 at 7:48am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I removed all my online dating profiles. Apparently my ex-husband finds stalking me online preferable to spending time with his new girlfriend. FML

#13270090
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21603) - you deserved it (2543)

On 09/30/2010 at 10:54pm - misc - by anon (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was playing basketball in our company gym. I took a shot from half court, and at that exact moment, an executive walked into the gym with an important potential client. My shot bounced off the side of the backboard, off some bleachers, and right into the client's head. FML

#13263199
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23969) - you deserved it (3159)

On 09/30/2010 at 1:13pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I told my parents I no longer believe in the religion they strictly raised me under. They responded by kicking me out of the house. I'm broke, jobless and the only person that will take me in is my psycho ex-girlfriend who never got over me. FML

#13165960
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33365) - you deserved it (14933)

On 09/23/2010 at 2:08am - misc - by non believer - United States (Washington)

Today, I was on my hour long bus ride home with a full bladder. Right as the bus reached my stop, the time I spent holding it in was over. I didn't make it out of the aisle before I peed my pants. FML

#13145145
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22843) - you deserved it (6714)

On 09/21/2010 at 6:16pm - health - by forgotten (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, it was the first day of astronomy class and we all waited for the professor to enter the classroom. All of a sudden, someone turns the lights off, it's pitch black, and we hear the professor saying, "Greetings earthlings..." It's going to be a long semester. FML

#13070220
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21681) - you deserved it (17864)

On 09/16/2010 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)



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