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FMLs submitted from Washington

Today, I was wrapping Christmas presents for my family. I got a huge paper cut on the webbing of my fingers, the pain of which caused me to scream out loud. My whole family heard and came rushing to my room. My grandma took one look, and scoffed, "Oh suck it the fuck up, princess." FML

#14330650
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12149) - you deserved it (26393)

On 12/25/2010 at 2:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I couldn't get into my car. In an attempt to get in, I broke a window. As I climbed in, the actual owner of the car walked up. Mine was across the street. FML

#14209327
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9398) - you deserved it (40482)

On 12/15/2010 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, at Arby's, there were two cute guys behind me in line. Right before ordering, my dad said loudly "Go get the calorie sheet. You need to lose more weight before you think about going after those guys." FML

#14186357
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33197) - you deserved it (4699)

On 12/13/2010 at 1:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was messing around on my laptop by drawing on the screen with a marker pen. When it came time to clean it off, it wouldn't budge. Now I have a full beard and mustache etched permanently on my computer screen. FML

#14179571
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6610) - you deserved it (110477)

On 12/12/2010 at 2:36pm - misc - by dumbass1991 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while parked at school, someone broke into my car by smashing the window. I called the police and they informed me I could drive it to the local station as it was an easy 2 minute drive. As I was driving there, I got pulled over for driving with a smashed window. FML

#14175206
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31321) - you deserved it (2138)

On 12/12/2010 at 2:17am - misc - by unfortunatelyunlucky (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at a house delivering pizza. As I walked away, I heard the mom mutter to her child, "That's why you go to college." FML

#14162042
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27402) - you deserved it (5662)

On 12/11/2010 at 2:04am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was in the middle of enjoying a really good book while in a waiting room. Someone saw what I was reading and thought it would be cool if she leaned over and told me everything that happens. FML

#14067824
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27930) - you deserved it (2642)

On 12/03/2010 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized I've been driving for almost two years and still get excited when I park between the lines on my first try. FML

#14017590
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17941) - you deserved it (18192)

On 11/28/2010 at 11:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my friend peed her pants while we were sledding. I could feel it trickling down into my pants. FML

#14012574
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27043) - you deserved it (2509)

On 11/28/2010 at 3:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML

#14003911
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30174) - you deserved it (4051)

On 11/27/2010 at 9:17pm - health - by fulloshit - United States (Washington)

Today, whilst driving to the store, an idiot driver found it to be okay to drive ridiculously fast in below freezing temperatures on the ice and snow. As he passed my car, I angrily gave him the finger. And then I realized I was wearing mittens. FML

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML

#13961788
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33146) - you deserved it (10898)

On 11/24/2010 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Heyy - United States (Washington)

Today, when I got home, I went into my room to find a Bratz doll and a Ken doll laying naked, on top of each other on my bed. Attached to them was a note that stated, "Please, use your imagination and find other ways besides porn to get excited. The computer keeps getting viruses. Love, Mom." FML

#13927798
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17571) - you deserved it (48503)

On 11/21/2010 at 6:43pm - intimacy - by sydysyd (woman) - United States (Washington)



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