Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Washington

Today, I was supposed to go on a date with a guy who lives on the same floor as me in my apartment complex. I got stood up. Instead I got to listen to him doing the girl who lives next door to me. FML

#14647412
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29062) - you deserved it (2660)

On 01/20/2011 at 3:52am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend spent an hour lecturing me on how I need to ask for what I want. So I asked him to delete a crappy picture he'd taken of me the night before. His response: "No, you don't always get what you want." FML

#14639216
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24724) - you deserved it (8717)

On 01/19/2011 at 2:19pm - love - by ugh (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend met my dad for the first time. The first thing my dad said to him was "So, how low have you kissed?" FML

#14559001
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30243) - you deserved it (3376)

On 01/12/2011 at 9:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my step-mom asked if I was having some eating issues. I admitted that maybe I've picked up some bad habits from friends and school. Now she won't stop bombarding me with self-help books and therapy websites. FML

#14548248
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8796) - you deserved it (19534)

On 01/11/2011 at 8:04pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I'm getting over strep throat. The antibiotics they gave me make me have diarrhea unless I eat yogurt in between each pill. That wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't lactose-intolerant. Yogurt gives me really bad gas. So I have to choose between painful gas or diarrhea. FML

Today, I was on a walk when I ran into the woman whose kids I babysit. We had a quick chat, and I noticed she had just blown her driveway clean. As I left, I said "You did a nice blow job!" FML

#14481844
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23508) - you deserved it (12714)

On 01/06/2011 at 12:57am - intimacy - by babysitter (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mother came over again to help me work on my Student Aid application. She also brought over the savings bonds that she has been accumulating since I was born to help pay for college. Turns out they won't reach maturity until I'm thirty. She never bothered to check out this fact. I'm screwed for college. FML

#14476476
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22287) - you deserved it (2925)

On 01/05/2011 at 5:52pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I found a note in my boyfriend's car from another girl telling him she hoped he liked the flowers. These were the same flowers he gave me while I was in the hospital, just after having his kid. FML

#14405039
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35417) - you deserved it (3913)

On 12/31/2010 at 2:43am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was wrapping Christmas presents for my family. I got a huge paper cut on the webbing of my fingers, the pain of which caused me to scream out loud. My whole family heard and came rushing to my room. My grandma took one look, and scoffed, "Oh suck it the fuck up, princess." FML

#14330650
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11791) - you deserved it (25905)

On 12/25/2010 at 2:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I couldn't get into my car. In an attempt to get in, I broke a window. As I climbed in, the actual owner of the car walked up. Mine was across the street. FML

#14209327
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9377) - you deserved it (40452)

On 12/15/2010 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, at Arby's, there were two cute guys behind me in line. Right before ordering, my dad said loudly "Go get the calorie sheet. You need to lose more weight before you think about going after those guys." FML

#14186357
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33151) - you deserved it (4696)

On 12/13/2010 at 1:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was messing around on my laptop by drawing on the screen with a marker pen. When it came time to clean it off, it wouldn't budge. Now I have a full beard and mustache etched permanently on my computer screen. FML

#14179571
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6422) - you deserved it (109295)

On 12/12/2010 at 2:36pm - misc - by dumbass1991 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while parked at school, someone broke into my car by smashing the window. I called the police and they informed me I could drive it to the local station as it was an easy 2 minute drive. As I was driving there, I got pulled over for driving with a smashed window. FML

#14175206
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31287) - you deserved it (2137)

On 12/12/2010 at 2:17am - misc - by unfortunatelyunlucky (woman) - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: