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FMLs submitted from Washington

Today, I surprised my four year old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it 'Horny.' FML

#17145702
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37473) - you deserved it (7929)

On 07/17/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by douglas - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend and I came across the topic of school while chatting. He asked me what high school I went to and where I moved from. I have lived here my whole life, he was my crush for four years, and was in my classes throughout those years. He doesn't believe me. FML

#17085145
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38573) - you deserved it (3724)

On 07/12/2011 at 8:51pm - love - by steph2052 - United States (Washington)

Today, my 16 year-old daughter tried to convince me that tampons don't actually work, all because she can still pee with one in. FML

#17069716
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34828) - you deserved it (5477)

On 07/11/2011 at 6:23pm - misc - by Username - United States (Washington)

Today, my family attended the funeral of an old family friend's baby, who died in childbirth. Afterwards, my husband went around snickering and quietly telling dead baby jokes to the other attendees. FML

#17004693
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54532) - you deserved it (5945)

On 07/06/2011 at 7:38pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I have a cold. Trying to clear out my stuffy nose, I tried putting mouthwash in my nose. Thinking it was an awesome idea, I put some more in. I then starting screaming in pain due to the extreme burning in my nostrils. FML

#16997621
395 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8062) - you deserved it (113101)

On 07/06/2011 at 5:17am - health - by Fmylife (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my neighbor and I learned why fireworks are illegal in city limits. This lesson was learned shortly after a roman candle came crashing through my second story window. FML

#16980502
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25779) - you deserved it (7700)

On 07/05/2011 at 12:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend and I were walking around when she got lost in a crowd. And me, being a pig, playfully grabbed her butt. I realized it wasn't hers when the guy whose butt I'd grabbed by accident knocked me unconscious. FML

#16945838
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11065) - you deserved it (44812)

On 07/02/2011 at 4:27am - misc - by camzzz - United States (Washington)

Today, as I was going to bed, I spotted a man staring at my window from a neighbor's yard. Ten minutes later, he was still there. I freaked out, started crying, and contemplated calling the cops. My creeper turned out to be the neighbor's wooden lawn ornament. FML

#16925056
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13280) - you deserved it (35326)

On 06/30/2011 at 5:10pm - misc - by Nell (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my son is going through a rebellious phase. He's taken to wearing leather and chains, listening to death metal music all day in his room alone, and screaming at me in public places. He was fired from his part-time job for swearing at customers. My son is 29 years old. FML

#16876528
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44870) - you deserved it (13036)

On 06/27/2011 at 2:26am - kids - by SheenaL (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend threw me into his pool. I had my phone and iPod in my pockets. FML

#16854499
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35834) - you deserved it (5025)

On 06/25/2011 at 7:29pm - misc - by pod (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got officially uninvited to a party. This is the third one this month. FML

#16741320
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30019) - you deserved it (7916)

On 06/19/2011 at 4:44am - misc - by loser (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I left early from a trashy dance and bought a soda at a Shell station. The clerk asked me if I had been smoking weed. When I replied "No", he said "You mean you always look like that?" FML

#16740090
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33114) - you deserved it (5355)

On 06/19/2011 at 2:38am - misc - by notastoner (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my grandmother's graduation presents came for my sisters. Not only did she remember to send them cards, but money too. My graduation was a year ago, I received nothing, and last time she saw me, she didn't know my name. FML



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