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FMLs submitted from Washington

Today, I held a door open for my boyfriend and jokingly said, "Chivalry is dead?" He responded with, "Who's chivalry?" FML

#15780453
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28936) - you deserved it (7149)

On 04/14/2011 at 1:49am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out via a Twitter post that my girlfriend is pregnant. FML

#15706061
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37230) - you deserved it (7938)

On 04/09/2011 at 7:40am - misc - by Tweety (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, someone wearing dark grey clothes thought it would be a good idea to run in front of my car in the pouring rain. I slammed on my brakes and managed to stop before I'd have turned him into a blood sprinkler. Unfortunately, the person behind me didn't. FML

Today, I'm babysitting three children under the age of seven. They have no discipline, don't listen, scream all the time, won't nap, terrorize my dog, and have peed their pants a collective 5 times today. I am not getting paid for this. Their mother has no plans to come get them any time soon. FML

#15475635
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35938) - you deserved it (9000)

On 03/24/2011 at 11:36pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my dad was stupid enough to think that the kitchen sink is a good place to clean a gas tank. Now, the whole house smells of gas fumes and I'm about to pass out. FML

#15423157
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27576) - you deserved it (3751)

On 03/21/2011 at 10:48pm - misc - by shakyhands (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, at the age of 16, I'm recovering from hip surgery. My friends took me out to the movies to cheer me up. They thought it would be hilarious to steal my crutches and leave me stranded and alone in the mall, multiple times. It wasn't. FML

#15398153
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39459) - you deserved it (3575)

On 03/20/2011 at 11:03am - misc - by crutchy (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was talking to my dad and told him that I want to be a hotel maid, hoping that he would tell me "You can do better, you're smart, etc." Instead he said, "I'm glad you finally have a goal that you can actually achieve." FML

#15362432
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19994) - you deserved it (29748)

On 03/18/2011 at 1:32am - misc - by hopeless (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I came down with painful sores in my mouth, just after having gotten over a cold. Apparently I'm allergic to the cough drops I've been eating for the past week to make myself feel better. FML

#15289353
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26380) - you deserved it (3005)

On 03/13/2011 at 12:52am - misc - by Rawrssa (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was waiting for the pan to heat up so I could make myself scrambled eggs. Just then, my mom runs up to me, cracks an egg open on my head, and runs away laughing. I only had one other egg. FML

#15270660
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27227) - you deserved it (4112)

On 03/11/2011 at 12:20am - misc - by Laura (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I noticed my new neighbor had taken the liberty of putting up signs all around their lawn overnight. There are at least a dozen signs detailing the various reasons everyone on the planet is condemned to hell. FML

#15186423
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25822) - you deserved it (2729)

On 03/03/2011 at 1:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my fiancé and I had a fight over household expenses. He's never had a job in his life, but this didn't stop him demanding that I get another full-time job to pay for video games and beer. FML

#15177236
475 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24813) - you deserved it (52267)

On 03/02/2011 at 6:21pm - money - by me - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

#15165919
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17625) - you deserved it (83175)

On 03/01/2011 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by Anon. (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I finally taught my mom how to text message people. Now I get a message from her every 30 seconds saying "Hi". FML

#15066931
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25544) - you deserved it (14797)

On 02/21/2011 at 4:07pm - misc - by moweezy9 (woman) - United States (Washington)



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