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FMLs submitted from Washington

Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML

#14003911
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28732) - you deserved it (3921)

On 11/27/2010 at 9:17pm - health - by fulloshit - United States (Washington)

Today, whilst driving to the store, an idiot driver found it to be okay to drive ridiculously fast in below freezing temperatures on the ice and snow. As he passed my car, I angrily gave him the finger. And then I realized I was wearing mittens. FML

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML

#13961788
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29042) - you deserved it (9992)

On 11/24/2010 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Heyy - United States (Washington)

Today, when I got home, I went into my room to find a Bratz doll and a Ken doll laying naked, on top of each other on my bed. Attached to them was a note that stated, "Please, use your imagination and find other ways besides porn to get excited. The computer keeps getting viruses. Love, Mom." FML

#13927798
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14241) - you deserved it (37875)

On 11/21/2010 at 6:43pm - intimacy - by sydysyd (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, after three weeks of my boss telling me how much he appreciates my hard work and has submitted my name up for a promotion, he called me into his office to announce I'm being laid off. FML

#13900225
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19308) - you deserved it (1474)

On 11/19/2010 at 2:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was on the phone with my mother. She asked me if I was going to make it to Christmas at home. I told her that I would try and make it home since it would be my grandma's last Christmas alive. To my luck, grandma was sitting in the car with my mother, and speaker phone was in use. FML

#13864593
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9578) - you deserved it (31009)

On 11/16/2010 at 12:09pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I couldn't get to work because I couldn't find my car keys. It turns out, my mother took them and put them "somewhere safe." She can't remember where they are. FML

#13850065
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21131) - you deserved it (1978)

On 11/15/2010 at 4:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got sentenced to 20 hours community service for having a boy in my room an hour after floor hours. If I don't do the community service, I could get kicked out of the dorm and put on probation at my college. We were breaking up. FML

#13766093
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23996) - you deserved it (9468)

On 11/08/2010 at 3:43pm - misc - by pixie09 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized that my parents never ground me as a punishment because I don't get out enough for it to matter. FML

#13676187
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21409) - you deserved it (5087)

On 11/01/2010 at 4:10pm - misc - by evilparents (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to see Paranormal Activity 2 with my boyfriend. In hopes of him putting his arm around me or holding my hand, I told him that I was very scared and pretended to cry a little. He told me to be quiet because I was ruining the movie for him. Then he moved seats. FML

#13645625
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18669) - you deserved it (32921)

On 10/30/2010 at 1:41am - love - by Samantha - United States (Washington)

Today, a cute girl came up to me with her boyfriend and said, "If you end up looking like him, it's over." FML

#13633879
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22054) - you deserved it (2203)

On 10/29/2010 at 12:33am - misc - by nonexistant (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that my wife named our son after her ex boyfriend. FML

#13633122
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26467) - you deserved it (1874)

On 10/28/2010 at 11:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I found dried cum in my hair - after being at work for two hours. FML

#13572879
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12128) - you deserved it (40301)

On 10/24/2010 at 3:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)



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